


All the Love I Found In You

by Xenafox



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, Body-swap, Canon Compliant, F/F, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 53,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24266416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xenafox/pseuds/Xenafox
Summary: Anna and Elsa have swapped bodies and need to find out why! What's going on with them? What is it Elsa feels, and how is Anna doing, really? The arrival of a royal visitor can only make this more confusing, or help them figure it out. In the meantime, Elsa's cold and Anna makes snow flowers.
Relationships: Anna/Elsa (Disney)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 105





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr, I have done a lot of work fine-tuning this story and hope you all enjoy! Happy reading!

The wind was whipping around the glacier in a fury, pushing the sea to rage just as angrily. Above it all the sky was black in between sudden bright bursts of lightning that was eager to strike the water. Nokk was unsettled and nervous while Gale dodged the higher waves of the sea to calm the fellow spirit. Both remained far below the top of the glacier on which another spirit stood. 

Elsa's eyes were alight with joy and a certain wildness while the air crackled around her. She knew she shouldn't be up there, and she knew if Anna could see her she would rightly be losing her mind. But Anna wasn't there, and Elsa found herself daring to do little tricks and taking risks she shouldn't. With no one to stop her, why shouldn't she test her powers and and play with the sky above?

Sometimes learning her limits bled into fun and that's why she found herself playing with ice in a grand storm. It'd only been a minute or two, and she would go back to safety soon. It was fun to create the ice around her and throw it into the clouds, though, and offered her a great release. Too much lately had been knotted in her heart and head, and she couldn't shake it. Thinking about Anna being far away with their kingdom, the many little adventures they had in those three years...

Maybe her risks weren't just in the name of curiosity and fun. Sometimes her thoughts took over and she couldn't shake them. A storm outside coaxed forth the potential for a storm inside and so she took advantge of the wind and rain. 

She didn't get to think much more about it before suddenly a loud crack was heard across the sky. It wasn't thunder but the sound of a whip made of lightning striking nearby. Closer than nearby, in fact. It was like something suddenly pushed her with a massive force and she was nothing against it.

Elsa saw Anna's soft, loving eyes before her own wild ones, and suddenly there was nothing.

\----

All too soon Elsa felt herself waking up. The light invaded her eyes which was strange- nowhere she slept ever really got that bright. Ahtohallan wasn't bright inside, the tent at the NorthUldra camp was solid beneath trees, and she kept her curtains closed in her room at the castle. Why? Oh-

As she stretched she realized she had passed out on top of Ahtohallan in a storm. Of course, the sun was going to do that to her, disturbing her from her nice sleep in the thick blankets.

Blankets.

Elsa's eyes shot wide open as she sat up quickly. She immediately noticed a purple and pink blanket was over her. She turned to look at the pillows under her. They were fluffed and pink. She looked to the source of the light. It was the big window in Anna's old room, curtains pulled back to allow the light in. Anna had such trouble waking up that she used the sun to help her out. It was half-effective, if that. Anna rarely slept in there anyway.

Panic surged through her. Why the hell was SHE in there though? Elsa rolled out of the bed in confusion, her foot tangled in the blankets. She hopped forward while breathing hard and was suddenly aware that she should be watching the long train on her dress. But she didn't feel it...her world was spinning. 

Something was very wrong. 

When she got her balance she didn't feel right. She didn't feel like herself at all. Something about the way she stood? No, not that. Her head felt full of cotton while she worked through her thoughts. She was in Anna's room and felt like her body was lacking something. It was in a way she wasn't sure she couldn't possibly describe.

She tried to even her breathing out, tried to focus. As she started to come down just a little, she waited for the tingle that always graced her fingertips when her emotions evened out and her powers were tamed. That often helped a little to ground her when she felt off. While the feeling had been scary so long ago, it had become welcome over the years.

The tingle didn't come.

"What...what!" She shook her hands and noticed what was wrong. 

There was no magic surging through her body!

She nearly screamed but caught herself as tears welled in her eyes. Her heart cracked in that moment and she knew it - she was without that curious companion, that energy that was her magic. It was always there, it pushed and pulled at her just as naturally as the rest of her body worked together. It was just gone. She was hollow. She was a shell! Her sobs were threatening to build and she began to sink to the soft carpet beneath her in shock. Had she been nearly killed on Ahtohallan? Had Nokk carried her magic-less body to the castle, dumping her and banishing her from the glacier?

Her breathing was fast again, she felt she may pass out. She was almost to her knees when she caught a bit of herself in Anna's mirror. She blinked and studied harder. What she saw had her frozen in place completely.

The person staring back at her, was Anna.

At first, she started to scream. Her mouth opened, and voice began to rise. As quickly as it started though, the sound snuffed itself out as Elsa suddenly felt an overowering rush of adoration. The warmth took her over enitrely as she looked at the darling face of her sister, even if her mouth was open in Elsa's silent scream. 

"Anna?" she asked, and yelped.

Her voice came out as Anna's voice.

Elsa went right back to her feet and rushed backwards from the mirror, her mind screaming. She couldn't even think, all she could do was spin in place, grab the door, and go rushing out of the room. Nothing made sense! She hurried into the hallway to do- to do what exactly? No one was in the immediate area, so she ran toward Gerda's room. She needed to know if she was hallucinating or-or what. But she did notice the way her hair felt heavy and ratty, and her dress was shorter and her sleeves were long. 

She nearly ran into Gerda, veering at the last moment to nearly slam into the wall before she stopped. "Gerda!" she called, and again, Anna's voice!

"Queen Anna? Goodness, are you alright?" Gerda asked, her eyes wide and hand placed across her heart in alarm. "Queen Anna?"

That was the confirmation she needed. Elsa drew a sharp breath and turned away, taking off from Gerda again. She had to see her room. Anna very often slept there instead of her own room and Elsa hoped to find her, somehow, in that bed. Maybe she looked like Anna but the real Anna was there. The thought didn't make much sense, nothing did. 

Elsa wanted to see her. She needed to see her!

She reached the room in no time and threw open the door. She rushed in the messy room and saw the bed was empty. It was unmade and looked like it had been very recently vacated, but it was empty. Elsa leaned over it and stared, her eyes unbelieving. Anna should be there, if only because it was still early in the morning!

And at the same time, she was trying to piece it all together. She was in Anna's body, and she didn't know what that meant for Anna's soul or her own body. Each concept terrified her. She walked around the edge of the bed and stroked the dark blankets- originally hers and Anna had kept them- trying to think, trying to make sense of things. She couldn't recall any stories she'd ever read or heard about waking up in someone else's body. 

"Hey, are you okay?" she heard behind her suddenly. A hand touched her with a bit too much firmness. It was the touch of someone who knew her well. Elsa felt the hand skim over her back. She felt the body of someone else getting way too close to her. 

It was a caring touch but in her concern she immediately elbowed the person coming up beside her and jumped on top of the bed as she whipped around. Her arm was raised and finger pointed as she got herself poised and ready to use her magic. An instant later she remembered she couldn't.

"Ouch! Anna, why'd you do that?" Kristoff asked, standing back from where he had been and rubbing his stomach. A look of pain was on his face. "...Why are you standing like that?"

"Kristoff!" she replied, and Elsa lowered her hands in guilt. "I'm sorry! I just didn't expect you!" She should have, she really should have. She had been so absorbed in her situation that she was totally unprepared. She remained thrown off with every wrong sound of her voice. 

"Why should you, I only come up to say hi every morning," he said, watching her. "It's okay, it happens," he followed with, trying to smile.

Elsa blinked. That's right, she didn't look like her. She looked like...someone's fiancee. Her face drooped, her heart felt a sudden ache.   
"No really, it happens! I'll still, ha, hug you," he told her, still trying to smile.

Hug her! She liked Kristoff but didn't want any cuddling from him, at all. "No thanks. I mean thanks! But I'm okay, I just ah...woke up weird." That was an understatement. How was she supposed to say she wasn't really Anna?

"Ah, thinking about Elsa again? I still think you ought to talk to her."

"No I'm-huh?" Talk to her? Elsa was so caught off guard she was unable to worry about her current situation. When a line like that just dropped, she had to know more. "You think I should talk to her?"

Kristoff didn't speak for a moment, watching her with concerned eyes. He had to know something was up. "Yes...Anna, I've told you this several times. I don't mind saying it again. And I'm not going to say anything different, either."

"I...don't expect you to say anything different." Elsa felt a bit of guilt. She had just discovered she was in her sister's body and hadn't a clue what was happening, but boy was she ready to use it to snoop. She worried about Anna, though, and learning Anna was supposed to talk to her about something only made her worry more. "I just want your take on it." No no she was doing something bad and wrong and should be fixing her huge situation-

Kristoff ran his hand through his hair, looking like he was holding something back. It gave Elsa the idea this was something they had talked about a lot. "Again...I think it's complex. There's more to this sort of stuff than a lot of people realize and I'm not that upset about it anymore. I get where you're coming from and I want you happy...and if you need Elsa to..."

Elsa could feel heat rising to her - well, Anna's - cheeks. Where was he going with that? Should she silence him and wait. "To...?"

"You know! If she makes you feel-"

"Queen Anna!" And then they were rudely intruded on by a guard. At the bedroom door. "There's something you need to see!" His intrusion infuriated Elsa! She was getting somewhere- not where she should be going- AND it was the bedroom! He was just outside the bedroom technically, but still too close. 

"WHAT!?" she snapped, making both the guard and Kristoff jump. 

"I apologize, Queen, but your sister is approaching and quickly! Something seems wrong!" the guard cowered.

Elsa could only imagine how she must look on the bed, her hair a mess, in a nightgown, with her face red. But as soon as she processed the words, she jumped back off the bed and darted for the doors to the balcony. So she, or someone that looked like her anyway, was coming toward the castle. She dared hope it was actually Anna but she couldn't be sure.

She threw open the doors and ran out to the edge. And there, out on the sun-kissed fjord, she could see herself riding Nokk at maximum speed across the water. It was hard to make out much from a distance but she could see Nokk seemed disturbed by the way he was running and there was a trail of snow and ice shooting out from behind her own body, as if she didn't have any control over it.

It was someone who didn't know how to use the magic in her body, and if it wasn't Anna then there was about to be big trouble.

Once again Elsa twirled around and bolted, this time through the bedroom and blowing right past Kristoff and the guard. She hurried as fast as her legs could carry her and ran down all the stairs even if she knew the actual Anna would go right down the banister. Anna had that down and Elsa was likely to topple and break absolutely every bone in her current body. She couldn't trust the banister like she could her ice. 

Then it was out the very bottom door she had been out many times to shoot her powers at the edge of the water. The breeze blew and she shivered.

Shivered.

The inside of the castle was nice and warm on a spring day, welcoming with fires lit in every occupied room. It was comforting. Outside? She never noticed how crisp and cool it was off the water. Elsa wasn't used to being cold. She could feel changing temperature in the air, but not exactly, well, the chill. It nipped at her face and ears, her feet felt heavy. It wasn't a feeling she liked at all. 

She almost got distracted from the voice loudly screaming 'ELSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!' as it grew closer and closer. Somehow that told her it was Anna for sure...

"Why is she screaming her own name?" Kristoff asked suddenly from beside her, making her startle. 

Elsa continued to shiver, looking from him to the figure that was approaching surrounded by snow. The snow was only growing - leave it to Anna to form a terrified snowball on a horse. Oh this was going to be bad...

Nokk stopped short of the shore and bucked hard. Elsa's body - or rather the ball of snow with her head - flew off and onto the ground. The snow exploded everywhere as Elsa's body went facefirst to the ground, landing with all her limbs outstretched. Behind her was a hovering trail of ice, easy to see once Nokk disintergrated into the water again. 

Elsa rushed to her faceplanted self, scared for her wellbeing and worried about her power. Around her the air was growing colder and Elsa's teeth were starting to chatter when she knelt down. "Anna?" she asked, reaching for her own shoulder, covered by her nearly white colored hair. She shook her gently and immediately, the body rolled over.

Her eyes were wide and her face screwed up in a painful cringe. It was one of the most disturbing things Elsa had ever seen. It wasn't like seeing herself in the mirror, it was her real face screwed up in pain and covered in dirt.

"Elsa!" her voice said and immediately those arms were around her as her body sat up and pulled her into a crushing hug. It was definitely Anna. Ice suddenly took over the ground beneath them and Elsa slipped and slid against the embrace. 

"Anna! Anna get control of the ice please!" It was her first experience of her butt freezing and she was eager for it to go away. 

"O-oh." She felt her take a deep breath, pause, and then the ice began to fade. "Sorry. I'm trying to-sorry!" A cold breeze blew across the both. "I keep panicking! I've been trying to think of you and everyone I love and be careful, it's hard though, this magic is-" 

"Insistant? Pushy? Bossy?" Elsa added, and felt her body relax against her. She knew how her magic could be. When fear was present it wanted to be set free to do as it pleased.

"Yes! When I woke up I thought I was about to explode and it was weird enough I woke up in the snow! What is happening!?" Anna asked in Elsa's most frightened voice.

And yet, as scared as Elsa herselfwas...having her sister there and in the same predicament helped. Her beating heart began to slow to its normal pace. Something inside her settled and that familiarity was evident. That satisfaction she felt whenever they were together- it didn't care that they were in different bodies.

She just wished she could bury her nose in Anna's real neck and inhale her scent. It wasn't exactly the same being in her body. "I don't know. I'm just as lost as you are!"

"Where did you wake up? In your bed?" Anna asked and finally released her. The two studied each other and Elsa squirmed as she stared into her own eyes. That was way too weird.

They both dropped their gazes. "Um, no, your room. I thought you didn't sleep in there much so it threw me even..more..." Elsa mumbled. How did she even begin to phrase that one?

"I don't. I usually stay in your bed, especially after you've just left. Then it's-it's best." The voice grew small as though Anna realized she had said too much. When Elsa looked again, she had red cheeks. 

They didn't even get to venture into that. "Wait a second." Kristoff had stepped closer to them from seemingly nowhere, looking down at the two in astonishment. "Elsa...you're Anna and..." He made switching motions with his fingers. "Did I hear that right? Did I...?" At least he was there to see what happened, and Elsa realized she wouldn't have to explain. 

Anna nodded up at him, and then seemed to realize he was actually there. "Kristoff!" She jumped up and suddenly Elsa was watching herself hug Kristoff enthusiastically, squeezing him and then hopping back in glee. "Yes! You did! It's me Anna and no, I have no idea why!"

Elsa sighed and stood, touching her midback. The white dress was cold as hell, was it always like that? "Hey, you're making me look weird, calm down!" Kristoff knowing was okay, but guards and other castle staff had started to gather and look down. Elsa shivered again in the cold. "Anna-"

"Oh you're right!" Anna immediately went rigid and held her head up high - ridiculously high. She adopted the most snobby look Elsa had ever seen and she was sure, she was damn sure, she didn't look like that. At all. 

"Anna..." Elsa buried her face in her- in Anna's hand, sighing. It was with that she realized she wasn't acting very Anna-ish either and that wasn't good. "Let's uh, let's go inside. Hurry!" She took Anna's hand and started hauling her with her to the door. "Kristoff, come on! You too!" she hissed, knowing right away they were about to need some help.

Anna let herself be tugged along, stumbing at first but then managing to run in after Elsa. She laughed awkwardly, probably because she was alarmed. Elsa found her chest starting to tighten again. Kristoff hurried along with them and closed the door behind them as soon as they were inside. 

\--------------

Somehow the three of them escaped up to Elsa's old room. As soon as they were in there, Elsa closed the door and sat with Anna on the messy bed. Kristoff leaned against the wall nearby, concern across his face. The air was crisp and ice was creeping across the ceiling above them. It had started to go up the walls before Elsa pointed it out, making Anna pause, think, and stop it for the most part. 

She still couldn't seem to stop all of it. Elsa tried not to shiver yet again. The fact she was affected by the cold brought about a deep pain in her. She had to move past it. She couldn't think about it. 

"You're cold," Anna had said with a gasp when they were sitting. Elsa nodded and Anna gathered a blanket from the bed. Elsa had to shift to help her get it off but the next thing she new, those arms were wrapped around her with the blanket and she was instantly warmer. How much of that was the blanket and how much was Anna's essence surrounding her, she wasn't sure. She wanted to drown in it- ah, that part was Anna.

Elsa sighed. "Yes, cold," she replied quietly. Her own face hovered too close. Maybe Anna wasn't put off by looking at her own face but Elsa still wasn't sure how to take it. "I wouldn't mind it, maybe, if I were used to actually feeling it."

"Not feeling it is weird too...I know I should shiver but I'm not. It's so...it's not right." Anna continued to hold her. "I love you but I don't think I want to be in your body."

Elsa couldn't help a little smile. She looked at her own eyes once again and was surprised, startled. They were her blue eyes but it was Anna's soul looking back at her. Maybe she was slow to catch on and that was what Anna had been seeing ever since she rode up. 

"So no idea how this happened?" Kristoff asked quietly, looking at them.

They both looked to him. Elsa shook her head. "No. I just woke up in Anna's bed."

"And I woke up on Ahtohallan! Not in - on! Elsa why were you up there?"

Now was not the time to confess to playing in a lightning storm. It was even less of a time to confess to being knocked out in it, somehow. So Elsa decided to dance around it somewhat. "Oh, watching the clouds and the weather."

"Wasn't it storming that way last night?" Kristoff asked and she could have killed him. 

"Elsa likes storms," Anna replied and Elsa could have hugged her, if she wasn't underneath a big blanket. "Though dozing off in one isn't a good idea," she said as she directed an annoyed look right at Elsa. 

"Anyway! No, we don't know why this happened. I fell asleep outside. What did you do before bed?" she asked Anna.

"Hmmm. I was reading a book with Olaf about...about..." She was struggling to think. "Well there was some kid and he almost got killed by a ship crashing into his house, but a voice lured him outside. Oh but there was something about time travel! There was a god who kept appearing as a rabbit..."

"Where do you find these books?" Kristoff asked.

Elsa heard enough. "Okay, so you read some high fantasy and fell asleep, you're sure that was it?" she asked.

"Yes!" Something about the warmth around her ran cold for a split second. Was that what it was like to feel a sudden chill?

"Okay..." That got them nowhere.

Kristoff spoke again. "Uh, Anna? I don't want to make things harder, but your day starts soon, and the staff is still wondering about Elsa coming here and...what should we do?" he asked.

It was a genuine question and Elsa knew they were going to have to face the day eventually. "Okay. Okay aah...Kristoff, can you stall them again?" She knew he was used to it. When Elsa visited the castle, she often lounged in bed cuddling with Anna. They liked to stretch their time out as long as possible and often it was Elsa who had to pry Anna's arms off her and coax her to do her duties. 

He nodded. "Sure. I have some ideas this time too! Plus, the ambassador you have today - he and I get along great so I got this morning covered," he said with a smile. 

Relief flooded through her. "Oh, thank you!" she told him.

"You're the best!" Anna added, beaming up at him.

He smiled back at her - both of them, really - in a sad sort of way. It surprised Elsa but she couldn't concentrate on it. "Alright. I'll see you two soon," he said. "If you need me, I'll be in the castle," he told them, moving toward the door. 

They both told him bye and soon he was gone. Then they looked at each other again. Elsa didn't know what to say about their predicament. "It's weird being you," she started with and regretted it. That wasn't good to say.

But Anna laughed. "It's weird being you too. I have magic. I have magic clothes- I have a dress made of...ice? I lost it. Twice! I was naked on Nokk! Then I had to think real hard and here it is again but things were rough for a few minutes."

Elsa blinked and then she laughed too. "Oh yea...my clothes. Yea, I have to create them-well don't have to, but like to. I forget it's not uh, normal."

"It's cool though! I wish I could play around with it, but I don't know how to control it all still, so I just focused on what you wear. It worked well enough."

"Hmmm." Elsa started to frown. "I...it's weird, not having my magic. It feels empty." In that moment though, she realized she hadn't thought about that emptiness since Anna arrived. She knew she didn't have magic but she hadn't felt... "It really felt terrible, but when you showed up I started to feel a little better," she admitted. 

"Yea...I think I made a couple mini snowstorms on my way here but it helped to see you, too." Anna leaned against her. "Before I saw you I was ready to cry, you know?"

Something...shifted. Elsa didn't know what it was. She couldn't put her finger on it. Anna was taking it all way too well, or at least she appeared to be. Elsa tried to read her spirit for any fear but she wasn't finding it. If it was there, it was we buried beneath joy and fondness. The ice seemed to have stopped forming as well. 

"Anna?" she asked gently. "Are you alright?" 

"I..." Anna stayed against her. "I think...so?" she replied. "I'm just so happy you're here." She lifted her head to kiss her cheek, meeting her eyes again. "Heh, that was my cheek I guess, sorry. I just wanted to, you know." 

Elsa knew. She leaned into her. It felt so good, it always did and yet... "Yea. I get it," she told her. "I do. You just seem to be handling this really well."

"I wasn't this morning!" Anna laughed. "Not at all! I made spikes all around Ahtohallan! I got to the Northuldran camp and accidentally froze Honeymaren in a giant ice cube! And-oh no I hope she's not in there still..."

"You don't know!?" Well, great, that was going to be a fun one to explain.

"No! I freaked out and left! I wasn't okay until I saw you, or rather, saw me but I knew it was you. And then- when we're together everything is okay," she explained rather meekly.

Elsa laughed. "Hmm. You're right." Everything was better with her sister at her side. "But we have to figure this out."

"How?" Anna asked, her head against Elsa's.

To that, Elsa shrugged and closed her eyes. "I don't know."


	2. Part 2

Nothing was going to get figured out in that moment, and Elsa knew she needed to prepare herself to be Anna for the day. Them hiding away would only cause murmurs among staff and the villagers, as Anna's arrival had not been silent. It was clearly not a normal visit. That meant she had to get dressed.

When she eventually separated from Anna and shed the blanket, she shivered again. Inside the castle was warm but once she felt cold, it was like she couldn't shake it. In fact, she was almost chilled to her bones! There was no defense against it. She could only shiver in front of the mirror and try to puzzle out where to start on the hair. She'd brushed it before but not when it was on her own head. 

Anna sat her down in a chair at the vanity and took a brush from the drawer. She began to work the ends to start sorting it out while Elsa stared. "How does - how do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"How does your hair get like this? I don't understand. Mine has been messy before if I don't braid it but this is..."

Anna laughed. "I move around a lot. I toss and turn and snore. I kind of always have."

"You don't with me," Elsa pointed out. Anna moved a little, but it never seemed so severe. "You do snore but you don't flop around."

"That's because of YOU." Anna laughed a little more. "I either hold onto you or stay still if you have me. You don't move at all, Elsa! Sometimes I have to fix your arms so I can breathe, if you started out hugging me tight then you keep right on doing it as you sleep."

Elsa's face burned. "Of course I don't move. You're there." Years of separation had them hold each other hard to begin with, and their current situation only made things tougher. The knot in Elsa's heart began to form again and she desperately needed it gone. It wasn't helping.

There was unrest in Anna too, their conversation having just hit a dead stop. Elsa wasn't really sure why and it nagged at her. It wasn't like they never talked about their cuddling. "Anyway...I don't move much otherwise either. If I react to a dream it's with ice."

"I noticed," Anna said softly. There were a few times they woke up to ice sparkling and hovering in beautiful little crystals around the bed. Elsa knew those were from dreams of Anna. 

Nothing more was said as Anna worked on the hair, carefully untangling the strands until she could actually work it into some kind of style. She braided the hair, not seeming to be bothered looking down at her own head. Elsa supposed concentrating on detangling hair was a good enough distraction. 

When it was braided but not pinned up, Anna tugged on the nightshirt. "Okay, we need you in a dress now. Remember how to put on a dress rather than making it appear?" Anna teased, and ventured over to the closet.

Elsa huffed. "Of course I do. You know I've put on some normal dresses! They just always feel weirdly heavy, even the finest cloths."

"Uh-huh. Take my nightgown off." 

"But I'm nearly naked underneath!"

Anna sighed and Elsa caught her own annoyed face. Was THAT how she looked? "Elsa, it's me." That was true in every damn way.

And it really didn't help. They'd seen each other in barely any clothing at all before, and Elsa always worried. She worried because of how she would look at Anna. Elsa wasn't used to seeing anyone else's body. Her own she was too used to but when she would see Anna's, her eyes would trace over her curves in what she could only call appreciation. Anna's freckled shoulders and her cute tummy with a little mole next to her bellybutton always called to her. How did another person have such perfect features? 

She found herself wanting to stroke her stomach and kiss along her back with her lips curv-

And then she had to stop thinking. She stood awkwardly. She was definitely not supposed to think those things about her sister.

"I've got the dress picked, now will you just...? Elsa!"

Elsa went for it and pulled the gown up and over her head. It wasn't like Anna was going to think anything of her own body. Then she stood there in underwear, her chest bare. And her chest- was cold. Really cold. There were parts of her that were stiff and she didn't like the way it happened. Not at all.

Anna was sorting through undergarments without any concern while Elsa crossed her arms over her chest and red spread over her entire being. She shouldn't feel so weird, right? Anna glanced at her and then looked again. She raised an eyebrow. "Ooh...you're not used to your nipples being cold!" This fact seemed to bring her great amusement and a big smile spread over her face. "Haha! You've got cold nipples! For every time you've ever tricked me, now you're getting it!"

Elsa's mouth fell open. "Are you-are you laughing at me?" Her skin had broken into goosebumps too which was weird, but not as bad as feeling the cold elsewhere.

And there was Anna as her, absolutely doubling over in laughter. "Yes! I'm worried about you, yes, but I can't believe I'm watching you have cold nipples! All the time I thought about th-I mean! I never saw this happening!" she stumbled over her own laughter and took a shaky step forward.

"Stop!" Elsa complained, but found her own face breaking into a smile. Yea, it was one of the most ridiculous things that she would have happen! It was embarrassing but funny, and she just let herself join in with the laughter.

The joy in the air between them was thick, and sparkly little images of happy snowmen materialized briefly, rolling in snow and laughing. They were having fun. Anna's eyes went wide and she stopped laughing as she saw the images. They went away and she pointed. "Did I do that?"

"Yes, and it was perfect," Elsa said with a smile still on her face. That's because it was so Anna, to see her happiness materialize like that. "I loved it. Sometimes magic wants to help you express, and what I saw was your joy, your playfulness." She didn't think she could see it enough. Watching Anna manifest it chased away the emptiness again. 

Anna smiled again, dropped what she was holding, and reached for Elsa. She pulled her close and wrapped her arms around her. The joy was still there and Elsa held her too. She forgot about her chest for a moment because she was right where she wanted to be. At least, she almost forgot.

"This MUST help with the nipples," Anna giggled after a minute, and Elsa could only laugh with her. 

\-----

Somehow Elsa found herself finally dressed in a deep purple dress with wheat symbols on it. It had long sleeves for her since Anna worried about her being chilly. She had on stockings and a bodice and everything just felt surpremely awkward for her. It all felt like she may as well be in a suit of armor, but moving around was normal. Elsa had worried she would find herself acting stiffly. Her hair hung in one long braid as Elsa had worn when she was queen. It helped a little.

Anna gave her a thumbs up and yet another hug before they allowed themselves to exit the room. The Queen was expected to do certain things after all. Elsa knew how to do it all but she needed Anna to update her on a few details and thus they were able to stick to each other. Elsa found it hard to give herself a little more bounce in her step and lose some of her poise. It wasn't that Anna moved around like a monkey, but she did hold herself differently.

When Anna tried to act as Elsa, she looked like a pretentious snob and Elsa again found herself wondering if she really looked like that. She couldn't possibly, could she?

She had to shake it while going to council to discuss preparations for spring and crops. 

That was a challenge. 

The topic was easy but trying to act like Anna? She could tell when she was too smooth. She could also tell where she was supposed to laugh at a strange comment all because Anna would laugh. Then she would catch herself and the mood in the room would shift. Sometimes she agreed too slowly.

It might be easy if she had to act stupid. But Anna was pretty far from being stupid. She was smart -she was brilliant in a way Elsa admired. At the same time she was more of an extrovert, she had thoughts on her tongue before they had even finished coming together in her head, and she had a spark that was so different to Elsa.

After the meeting Elsa's head hurt. She rubbed it briefly. "Yea, that was...interesting," Anna commented. She let out a breath and a pile of snow fell on the table Elsa sat at, making her jump. "Ooh...I was tense," Anna added.

"I'll say," Elsa said with a sigh. "It's time for a walk, isn't it? Getting some air might help."

"Actually..." Anna's stomach growled and Elsa winced. Hearing her own stomach growl was unsettling. "We rushed out and everything made us forget breakfast. Let's do that instead."

Food could certainly help so Elsa agreed.

They met back up with Kristoff for their meal, and he seemed in a cheery mood. Apparently the visitors to the kingdom were good friends with him. He strolled up to the girls and stood near Elsa awkwardly for a moment before remembering which one of them was actually Anna. "Still switched?" he had asked quietly as they sat down at the long table. 

Anna nodded. "Yea. Turns out you can't change bodies by changing your clothes," she joked.

Elsa laughed as she sat next to Anna and shook her head. "Unfortunately I don't think this will get sorted that fast."

"Well I'll still hope it wraps up in a strangely quick and convenient way," he said as the servers brought them tea. "This morning was fine but everyone will expect to see you out and walking the town. Sven and I don't have the same effect."

"No, I imagine not," Elsa remained smiling. "I still think a walk may actually be a good idea." Maybe if they could be more casual with their behaviors it would help for both of them. "Anna?"

"I agree. But first, food! Waffles!" Anna was looking close to drooling.

Elsa hoped she didn't. If the servers saw that they might be concerned. At the same time, she tried to look more excited for waffles. Anna was always so cute when she waited for them. 

Meanwhile Kristoff had been drumming his fingers on the table. "Oh, by the way, our visitors insist we have a party here tomorrow night. You know with the staff and the counsel. Drinks and dancing. I told them it's short notice to hold a dance but they already brought...all the drinks and musicians."

"Ugh." Anna rolled her eyes. "Again? Why are they like that...every time..."

Just like that, Elsa knew exactly who their visitors were. "You can say no, you know," Elsa told her. "I did most of the time."

Anna just shrugged. That was when the door flew open and in ran Olaf. The girls and Kristoff smiled at him. "Olaf! You're finally up!" Anna said and then stopped. She had to have forgotten he didn't know.

Olaf stopped just a short distance from them. He looked at them with a certain sort of confusion in his eyes. "Something's weird," he told them, and they exchanged glances.

They were going to tell him anyway, so Elsa decided not to drag it out. "Olaf, we seem to have swapped bodies. I'm really Elsa and she's really Anna," she explained, pointing at her sister. She was a little nervous about his reaction. 

"Ooooh...ooooh!" He looked between both of them and actually smiled a little. "Oh that makes sense! No wonder I feel weird!"

"Oh, YOU feel weird! We thought-ah nevermind." Anna tilted her head. "Wait, how do you feel weird?" she asked and Elsa was curious too. How was he affected?

"Yea, what? I was looking for you earlier too," Kristoff said in surprise.

Olaf touched the ends of his stick hands together. "I woke up feeling kind of what I guess is sick. Kind of fuzzy?" 

"Fuzzy?" Elsa asked and looked at Anna, who shrugged back. 

"Uh huh. I was weak too sort of, but it came in waves. Then just a little while ago I started to feel normal and-and I just thought I reached that super mature point where you get flus."

It wasn't hard for Elsa to figure out. "So...Anna, you figuring out some stability in using my powers affected Olaf. Wow...I didn't really realize that -that aside from being alive...that anything I did concerning magic came back on you," Elsa said in wonder. She never had to purposely think about Olaf in order for him to continue existing. As far as she was aware she didn't have to do anything because he was already created and an extension of her magic that was sentient...

If she was being honest she had tried not to ever think about the specifics of how it all worked. Science could only apply so much to magic. In regards to magic, there was a chill in the air...

Anna looked horrified, her eyes wide open. Elsa could feel the panic coming off her. Elsa immediately pet her shoulder slowly, trying to soothe her. Anna's mouth was open and it was a second before she could get it out. "Olaf I-I'm so sorry..."

Olaf laughed and waved his arm. "Oh. I'm okay! I got back to normal."

"Still if I hadn't...if I had done something different I..." Anna squirmed in the seat and Elsa was disturbed by the guilty look her own face took on. It wasn't something she imagined Anna liked seeing...

"Hey, hey. He's alright. You DID get control," Elsa said, stroking her arm. The table had started to frost.

"But but...if I hadn't..."

"Anna? Anna, Olaf was created with the love I always felt for you. There's no way something bad would have ended up happening," she said confidently. Her love for Anna would always exist, and strongly. And she knew Anna felt that too so the magic in her hands would hold Olaf together. He was formed by true love, which couldn't be broken.

Elsa was staring into her eyes, and Anna looked into hers. They truly saw each other that way, and Elsa felt like she was being pulled and tugged in. She couldn't fight it.

Then Olaf spoke and it ended. "That's true! I might have been meltier, but still here." Olaf laughed, but then assumed a curious look again. "So...why are you switched?"

Elsa sighed. "Don't know. I woke up here, she woke up on Ahtohallan."

"She got here on Nokk but he already left," Kristoff snorted.

"And we need to figure it out, but first we have to do what I usually do in the day," Anna added. "Then we can study more, maybe even go see the trolls." Kristoff looked interested at that.

"Maybe I can find a book about it!" Olaf offered, his eyes lighting up. 

"You are in the library all the time," Anna agreed. "If anyone knows where to look in there, at this point it's you. Plus if anything does happen you'll be safe in there."

"Anything does happen?" Olaf repeated back to her. 

"Anna.." Kristoff said softly and Elsa put her arm around her. 

"Nothing is going to happen to him, Anna. You've got something back in balance now, so he's fine." Elsa wasn't sure she was prepared to handle Anna worrying about hurting Olaf with her powers. No. That was too familiar and the selfish part of her prayed and prayed that she wouldn't have to touch back on her old trauma to hold off Anna's fears.

She wasn't strong enough for that.

Luckily a smile began to spread over her face once again. The panic gave way to calm and even Elsa relaxed. "You're right," Anna agreed. "I think I've got a better hold on them, since I didn't just ice the table-um, not completely anyway!"

"You're right," Elsa told her and took her hand, squeezing it. "Now remember-waffles."

Breakfast went without further incident, save Elsa trying to make it look like normal Anna eating waffles. It wasn't pretty and Kristoff laughed until he was red. When food was done and more time had passed than they had realized, the sisters separated from Kristoff once again. Olaf decided to tag along with the town walk. Elsa knew he would get distracted away immediately.

She was right about how it was easier to be out and about, for starters. Sure, people saw them and said hi, asked them how they were, and a couple did politely ask why Elsa had come in yelling and out of control.

"Oh I uh, I had an awful nightmare and I just really wanted to see Anna. Sorry it was so dramatic," Anna tried to play it off as no big deal, going a little more casual than most people would ever see Elsa. She was close enough, though, for Elsa not to make a very non-Anna like face.

At least the answer came off as acceptable. No one pursued it with any confused questions, choosing instead to ask if she felt better. When they got into town it became a little more difficult. A couple people approached who they thought was their queen to ask about this and that, mostly some gossipy stuff. Anna always dealt with that with such grace Elsa had trouble mimicking it. Elsa always brushed off gossip before, not getting into it unless it affected the larger picture.

Anna was always willing to listen and respond, but she did so in a way that didn't encourage the gossip. She put hopeful spins on situation or immediately looked for some element of good to immediately zoom in on. Elsa tried to do that but in effect was awkward. Anna tried to offer comments where she could to make up for it, but even that had to be carefully calculated. Olaf played a good interference, talking a lot to everyone they met. 

He was chatting to a little girl when they were passing a dress shop. Suddenly the door opened and the owner, a small round man named Baggi, came running out. "Queen Anna!" he yelled, sounding alarmed.

Both girls turned around, and Elsa had to manage a "Yes?".

"Ah! I'm so sorry to intrude," Baggi said, looking nervous suddenly. "However, I've heard you sent to cancel the dress you were to have us make, and I wondered, I mean I worried, had we done something to make you cross?" he asked, staring at his fingers. 

"The dress. The dress!" What dress? Anna never mentioned anything she should know about a dress. She usually showed her the pictures of any new dresses she wanted to have made, both as a princess and queen.

Anna rushed to fix it. "The dress! Anna, you said you were simply no longer going to need it. So that's all," Anna said, trying to look relaxed while Elsa felt bewildered. 

Baggi looked at her. "But why wouldn't you need a wedding dress? Unless, oh, have you two already, did you-" Elsa felt revulsion rising within her. 

Anna held up her hand. "No...currently wedding plans are on hold, Queen Anna has new obligations that will have to come first before she can think about a wedding." She gave Elsa a meaningful glance.

The wedding cancellation, as she was sure it actually was, came as news to Elsa. Really big news... But she could only nod in response to Baggi.

"I see...ah, taking advice from your older sister to be a queen, I see," said Baggi with a chuckle. "Ah that is smart Anna. When you have your affairs in order, we would still love to make the dress."

"Okay..." Elsa said, her mind struggling to process it. Why hadn't Anna told her that? It seemed a strange decision for her to make and not speak of. 

Baggi frowned. "I apologize, this may be emotional for you...thank you for your time, Queen Anna!" He bowed his head and hurried back to his shop.

Elsa slowly looked at Anna. "...What was that?"

Olaf was running back over as Anna just looked away nervously. "I'll tell you when we're alone again," she said, and Elsa had to accept it.

Then they were off again, walking and trying to chat about what was around them, focus on anything but the heavy question between them. Elsa thought Kristoff seemed a little off that morning. Did it have to do with whatever it was Anna needed to talk to her about? Elsa had no idea how to approach it but she would have to. 

When they were by the woods they fell quiet and Olaf wandered off again. Elsa shivered a little even under the nice warm dress but she wasn't about to suggest they turn back. There wasn't really anyone around as they found one of their favorite walking trails, the vegetation around them just barely starting to awake to spring. It probably didn't help, Elsa noticed, that little sprinkles of ice had begun to fall behind Anna. They left a glittering path that would help them if they somehow wandered off the trail, though so close to home they could never get lost.

"Anna," she said softly as they reached the small clearing they often liked to picnic in. Elsa missed seeing it often and noted how she didn't miss the northern forest. That was to think about later... "We need to talk about what happened back there. It's clearly bothering you." She didn't like that Anna was holding back. Regardless, she didn't say anything about it right away. Elsa understood.

Anna looked at her and then at her fingers which were covered in ice. "You mean this? It won't stop! They keep tingling, they have been a bit since breakfast, but it got worse..."

She was changing the subject but Elsa let it happen. The persistence of her powers was something that did need attention. "It does that. It kind of, it builds up throughout the day. I got used to it, but you need to release it often. There's a good reason I turned so many things to ice every day, aside from it being beautiful."

Elsa stared at her hands, really Anna's. It was strange not to have anything pulsing through her veins, but she also felt normal in a sense. She was in a non-magic body. 

Another hand took one of hers and squeezed in gently. "So what do I do? Just...shoot ice?"

"Sometimes." Elsa laughed a litte. She squeezed Anna's hand back. She continued to touch her wrist as she moved around her, stopping behind her. She kept her arm around her and took Anna's hand again, moving hers on top. "Just open your palm and shoot."

"Uh..." Anna opened her hand, palm out, Elsa's fingers laying against the back of hers. After a second a large snowball came shooting out. It flew right across the clearing and smacked into a small tree on the other side. "Oh! I hadn't tried and...I hadn't thought..."

"Again," Elsa said, her chin on her shoulder. It was getting a little more comfortable to rest herself against her body. Oh, it was incredibly strange still! But feeling Anna's spirit humming against her the way it did made it somewhat more acceptable. 

Anna shot another snowball, and then three little ones right in a row. She laughed and sparkles came out, once again in the quick image of a snowman. So, that was really Anna's thing!

Elsa laughed in delight and wrapped her other arm around Anna's waist. "Make something else!"

"Like what?" Anna asked, flicking tiny snowballs onto the ground. 

"I don't know. Make a sunflower out of snow!" Elsa encouraged her, a smile wide on her face. Anna using her magic made her feel such warmth, she didn'twant it to stop. She wanted to see more and more!

Anna used her hand to try and arrange snow, but when she summoned it, it landed in a pile. She whipped her hand around and sent it all somewhere into the forest. "Oh no..."

"Use both hands! Like...like you're painting or drawing, maybe," Elsa told her. She released her hand and hugged her completely from behind. 

"Oh!" Anna raised both hands, her left doing the most movement still. That hadn't changed with the switch. She hesitated, then started to draw in midair, starting with the inside of the flower.

In front of her the center manifested in gleaming ice all at once, glittering under the sun. She giggled and held her hands open, flicking all her fingers and giggling more as ice petals flowed from them to arrange themselves on the middle. The flower turned slowly in midair as many petals danced on it, placing themselves with care.

Elsa was grinning ear to ear. "Give it a stem! And leaves!" she told her, and Anna obliged.

She flicked two fingers and a long, elegantly curved stem anchored it to the ground. With one hand waving in the air she let the stem grow beautiful thin leaves. There was a glimmer to them that Elsa wasn't sure even she could repeat if she tried. Maybe it was the sun above them, maybe it was the little breeze through the small clearing, maybe it was a lot of things that added to the perfection. But it was mainly Anna.

"It's beautiful!" she said with a laugh and nuzzled against her sister, pressing their faces together. "You're amazing," she told her. Elsa felt like her heart was threatening to burst.

"Oh, sure. I can make a flower! You've made an entire palace of ice and...well, I can't even keep track!" Anna replied. She was drawing in the air with ice sparkles, making little hearts that could float around her flower. The little snowmen came again, chasing each other around the base od the stem and Elsa could swear they tinkled with the sweet bell-like sound of laughter.

It was almost sad Anna didn't have those powers normally, regrettable in a way. The way Anna's glee showed itself, Elsa couldn't take her eyes away. "Amazing," she repeated, almost a whisper. 

Anna turned in her arms and pulled Elsa into a tight embrace. She didn't say anything. She just held her. Elsa closed her eyes. She wished it could last forever, the feeling that was between them right then. Nothing ever felt so complete, not in her whole damn life.

Ahtohallan and the spirits were a world away. Even the castle wasn't in her mind. Home and everything she wanted was in her arms and she couldn't stand to have it end.

It couldn't last forever, she knew that. When they did step away from each other - and it hurt, it tugged at her - she saw a shine in Anna's soul as she looked to her eyes. She was sure it was there in her too. Elsa didn't know what to say at first, and she stroked the white material on Anna's arms. "...You know, you can make your own outfit. You don't have to wear my dress."

"Is it okay that I-"

"Of course! Of course," Elsa rushed to assure her. "But you can also be more you if you want. Wear anything that makes you happy, although I suppose you shouldn't go too nuts with the colors or any odd designs." She didn't want anyone to have suspicions about her. Whether they judged her or not, she didn't care, but she wanted her body and Anna's soul safe.

"Hmmm. How do I do it...?"

"Visualize what you want, like the flower. See yourself in it, see the designs laying themselves on. You just...you have to think about the clothes going on you." Elsa hoped she was explaining it right. 

Anna moved a few steps away, more into the clearing. "I'm doing this because if I mess up, I'll end up naked in a mini snowstorm and I don't want to catch you in it."

"I'll be fine!" Elsa assured her.

"Sure, Cold Nipple Spirit." Anna stuck her tongue out. Elsa was tripped up completely by how silly her face looked and couldn't find a comeback - but she was definitely going to have one later.

Anna looked down for a second and began to wave her arm slowly. The ground glowed a slight blue and purple as the dress she was in began to fade away from the bottom. It was replaced by a dark blue color, decorated with the gems and long elegant snow designs Elsa liked in various shades of purple. It stretched up to become a cape as the main body and skirt of her dress took on a teal color. The bottom was decorated with snowflakes and sunflowers alternating. Above the sunflowers were thin light purple lines that spread into purple and violet diamonds, reaching up to more sunflowers. A darker teal ribbon went around her waist and even more sunflowers covered her torso. Over her chest the material darkened again. Her shoulders and upper chest were bare and light teal formed thin sleeves down her arms to her wrists. Dark blue diamonds and purple lines decorated them as well.

Once done, Anna twirled slowly in front of Elsa and looked at her with a blush. "Did I do well?" she asked shyly, looking at the bottom of her dress.

There really were a lot of sunflowers but Elsa didn't think anyone would find it too odd. She'd decorated herself in them before, both in Arendelle and in the forest. The Northuldra found it a bit odd and bright but she enjoyed being wrapped in something that reminded her of Anna.

"Wonderful," Elsa finally answered, coming closer to examine it. She touched the cape and relished the familiar magic thrumming in her fingers. It was very welcome. She felt the sleeves gently and approved. "You did well...more of a design than I would have thought." It wasn't that she thought Anna couldn't, but that she may have elected to go for something more simple while learning how to use her powers.

That was a silly notion. 

"Are you sure it's okay?" Anna asked, biting her lip.

"Of course!" Elsa smiled, but it began to fade. "Well...now that you've changed clothes and had some release...let's talk about what Baggi said back there."

Anna widened her eyes and looked surprised. Maybe she thought Elsa forgot, but she hadn't. She had been distracted, certainly, but had not forgotten. "I have to?"

"We aren't supposed to hold these things back from each other. You know this. I've worked hard to stick to it and now..." She took Anna's hands, her voice quiet. "Talk to me.." It had to be what Kristoff had mentioned that morning, and she had to stop her mind from trying to get anxious.

"O...kay." Anna took a deep breath. "I called off the wedding. For now. Or...for good."

"Why?" 

"Something hasn't been feeling right. Part of it is true about being new to being Queen and learning and focusing! I don't know how to even think about putting wedding planning in there."

"You have time when I visit, we don't even do anything but stay in bed sometimes." That wasn't a complaint. Elsa knew if Anna wanted something, she found time for it and made it happen.

"I know! I wouldn't trade that for anything. But it's only part, like I said." He hands were turning cold again in Elsa's. "But it just - it doesn't feel right. Something has been missing ever since we came back and you-you stayed up there."

Elsa felt a large wave of guilt wash over her. She had thought at the time, she was doing things right, she was learning, she was staying with their mother's people. There was a list of reasons she thought it was right, but over time her urge to be back with Anna had become hard to avoid.

"I can't marry Kristoff if I'm not sure how I'm feeling, I can't marry someone if I feel so incomplete. I don't know if I want-want to marry," Anna continued.

Elsa blinked. "You always liked love and the idea of marrying someone someday, at least when you were little."

"Mmhmm, when I was little. But things changed. That was when I had a sister, before there was a gap where I just wanted to be around anyone who would give me time. There's...things just changed and I..." Tears were welling up in her eyes. Elsa wasn't interested in seeing herself cry so she pulled Anna into yet another hug.

She got it. There was maybe more Anna wanted to say but she was struggling. Elsa could put together the basics well enough. Anna was hurting and lost without her again. Her soul felt incomplete. And she didn't feel up to marrying someone in that state. She didn't think it would even give her what she needed, and Anna wasn't a cruel, selfish person. She wouldn't string Kristoff along or marry him for appearances. 

Elsa knew Anna loved Kristoff. She just may not love him the way she thought she did before. 

"Anna? I'd like to ask you more about this later," she said, stroking her back. "For now, thank you for what you have told me. I know-I know it was hard. Getting out secrets you're afraid to talk about, they're hard."

Anna nodded. "Yes...I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"Oh Anna." She couldn't be mad. "It's okay. I'm not mad at you." Was it even possible for her to be mad at Anna? Frustrated sometimes, yes, but not mad.

"There you are!" Olaf's voice sounded, and Elsa felt Anna raise her head. "Is everything okay?"

They released each other and both turned to face him. Anna knelt down and Olaf walked up to her with a curious look on his face. "Yes, everything is okay," she said, opening her arms for him. "I told Elsa about the wedding finally."

Olaf walked into her arms and accepted the nice warm hug. "Finally! Oh, I'm relieved! You know how hard it is to keep secrets!"

"I have an idea, yes," Elsa responded as she crossed her arms. Olaf knew? She was a bit put off by that, but it was forgiveable. Who else did Anna have to tell, to get that off her mind? Certainly not her when she was off on some glacier watching bad weather. 

When Anna released Olaf she looked up at Elsa again. "I'm sorry...again."

Elsa melted for her once again. She couldn't stay annoyed with Anna. "It's alright. Listen, we should make our way back to the castle, right? We can talk later."

Anna nodded and stood back up. "Okay."

"Wow! Nice dress! Did you make it?" Olaf asked, and Anna was distracted. She smiled and looked down. 

"Yes! I did! With Elsa's help," she said, beaming at her.

"It was mostly you, though, you made that beauty," Elsa told her, and it was true. Anna brought the brightness everywhere.

"And did you make that?" Olaf asked, pointing at the ice flower in the clearing. "Anna you're a natural!"

"She is!" Elsa agreed, studying the flower again. Once again she found it hard to look away. 

Anna was red and she hopped a few paces away from them. "Okay okay, let's go!" she told them. "We need to get back so I-so you can hold open court and everyone can ask whatever annoying questions they want," she said, and Elsa groaned.

"I don't miss that," she said, walking forward with Olaf beside.

"I didn't think you would. Tell you what, tonight let's eat a lot - A LOT of food. We'll retire early and take the longest, most relaxing bath. I haven't done that in a while."

"You take baths often!" Olaf exclaimed. 

"Not long ones. Not even relaxing ones," Anna told him.  
Elsa hadn't in a while either, she realized, and it sounded perfect. Maybe they needed to let go of some stress...maybe that would do the trick. "I think that's the best idea, Anna," Elsa told her. She looked at the sky; it was indeed getting along in the day and they had to return.

The three walked home with the cool breeze at their backs, though not a single one of them was in the mood to rush.


	3. Part 3

Standing around to meet with Arendellians was always a bit of a drag for Elsa. It was rarely anything interesting. She was happy to help and loved when she could effectively settle any issues for anyone before her, but it was lot of repetitive small things. And sometimes there wasn't anything. She should have felt relieved about that but people still wanted to talk to her instead of letting her go get some space. 

It was even harder as Anna, who loved when there were no problems and would excitedly chat with just about anyone. Elsa didn't know how to force conversation like that. She was starting to feel a little suffocated. 

After the third person gave her their life history in a buildup to how to get their neighbor's trees off their land, she was feeling worn out. She had to talk so much instead of gliding around always looking elegantly busy like she did when she visited. Everyone expected her to engage.

Ann had floated around like that for a little bit, just watching, but eventually she found Elsa's side again. She linked their arms and started to drag her off. "We're just gonna go off to the side for a bit," Anna told her. "They'll assume we're discussing something important."

Anna dragged her next to a curtain that half covered one of the larger windows in the hall. The light coming in warmed her neck. "Thank you, Anna," Elsa said in relief. She leaned her head on Anna's shoulder - her shoulder, it wasn't as bony as she feared. "I haven't done this in months..." 

Kristoff chose that moment to find them. He stopped in front of them both. "There you two are! You were gone walking for quite a while," he said, and he looked a bit tired. Maybe not just tired, Elsa realized, but sad. 

Knowing what she knew, it was hard to see anything other than sadness on his face. She also felt responsible and she avoided his gaze. She'd really made things difficult for Anna, not just then, but years in the making. It was a terrible feeling. 

"Oh, I learned how to use the magic better," Anna told him. "You should let me make you something! And soon, too, it's growing again and I gotta use it."

"Ah," he let out a weak laugh and Elsa nearly winced at the sound of it. "No thanks Anna, that's okay. I think I may put some stuff together and go see the trolls. If I get an answer for you two I'll be back tonight, if not I'll probably stay up there."

"Stay up there?" Anna asked, voice hushed.

"For tonight! I'll come back in the morning. Wouldn't want to miss the party, you know?" he asked her and there was the affection Elsa had gotten used to hearing from him. Kristoff wasn't a spiteful person at heart, even though she knew he was hurting.

"O-oh! Okay. I thought you meant..ah..."

"No, no. Um, well I'll be off now." Elsa looked up to see him puffing out his chest and looking determined. "I'll see you both later! ...Maybe not. I mean generally later but not later tonight maybe." He still tried to look at ease and like he said exactly what he meant to.

Elsa stifled a laugh. "Okay Kristoff. Travel safely, please," she said and she very much meant it. Whatever happened, he was family to them.

"Thanks. You too," he said and then just closed his eyes at his own words. "Alright, bye," he said, waving and turning.

"Bye Kristoff," Anna called out and then sighed, her body drooping. "That was awkward," she whispered. She looked down. "I wonder when it will stop being awkward."

Elsa had no answer for her. She took her hand and squeezed it. "It'll be okay. Kristoff? ...I'm sure he'll still be your friend. He's a pretty great person." He was forgiving and patient. That was exactly the kind of friend who was good for Anna.

He would have also been perfect for her to marry, she supposed, but that idea made her want to squirm. 

Elsa had to separate once again to talk and say good evening to the people still milling around the castle and out in the courtyard. She had fought against wandering from the hall to the courtyard because it was getting cooler the later the day got, and the edges of her ears felt like they were being constantly nipped at. Regardless, she had to go out there. 

How did Anna get along so easily with the cold normally? Elsa was aware it got colder than that in Arendelle. She was aware she was being kind of a wuss and that she shouldn't be bothered. Well, she was calm enough not to complain about the chill, but she could still be annoyed by it. 

When she had the chance to be inside again, Elsa took one look at her body standing stiffly and looking flustered. Anna needed some help; she might know she had to release the magic but it was still foreign to her. Elsa smiled at Anna and took her hand, hauling her down and out of the castle to that little place by the water again. It really was a favorite spot for her even if being by it made her shiver.

Anna put her hand out and let ice shoot in an arch over the water before delicately dropping down and spreading across the surface briefly. She made a sunflower design in it which sparkled before going away. She sighed, held out her other hand, and repeated it.

Once more Elsa found herself lost in the beauty of Anna's work. She watched each little movement, anticipating the ice dropping and spreading when Anna did it the third time. That time the design lingered and Elsa's gaze stayed on it.

"Elsa?" 

The small voice made her startle, not expecting Anna to say anything. "Huh? Yes?"

Anna sighed and traced random shapes in the air with ice. "I feel guilty. Really guilty."

"About Kristoff?" Elsa guessed easily.

Anna nodded and paced a little, slowly. "Do you really think I'm doing the right thing?"

"Anna..." She really wanted to talk about it with her, but at the end of the day. When they were done having to see anyone. If Anna needed to break down and sob then they could be alone to deal with it. "I think we should address this later, after dinner at least. But...yes, I think you're doing the right thing." She approached her and took her arm. "If you aren't sure you want to marry someone, then you shouldn't. If you don't feel like you can handle that big a change in your life right now, then don't make yourself. ...Don't make a lifelong commitment because you feel bad," she said finally. 

Anna had shown she was listening, unlike Elsa she kept eye contact when talking about a heavy subject involving herself. At Elsa's last words though, she reacted with a little gasp, then chose to look to the castle and back at Elsa. "You're right...I hadn't thought of it like that." 

"You see? Sometimes you just need to put it in a simple way..." Elsa chuckled. She was just lucky she was good with words and Anna.

"Yes..." Anna smiled again. "Thank you. I love you Elsa," she told her, meeting her eyes.

"I love you too," Elsa said without thinking. It was automatic, and she was falling into Anna again. She actually felt like she was falling. Elsa wanted to tip forward and be caught in Anna's arms, in her actual arms and in her correct body. She wanted to stay in them, never move again as the world spun around her.

The gaze was broken as they heard chatter above them from inside the castle and Elsa remembered that they could be seen. Where they stood was not private after all and Elsa was sure she heard Mattias's voice from somewhere inside. He liked to walk the castle, sometimes, and Anna told him he was always welome. 

"Well." Elsa took her hand and tugged. "If you're good for now, let's go back inside. If we want a nice big dinner, we ought to start helping in the kitchen."

Anna smiled. She did enjoy helping in the kitchen, and it had been a hobby for her when Elsa was queen. She hadn't done it in a long time, and since the most important parts of her day were over, Elsa figured they were free to enjoy themselves. Anna didn't need to hold any sort of council that night.

They enjoyed baking in the kitchen, tasting the seasoning, and seeing what the staff cooks were doing. It was hard to watch themselves and not interfer, as Anna had quickly learned some time ago that the staff liked to focus on their art: providing a magnificent meal. Who were they to disturb it?

They were the royal sisters and had every right to demand the food be done to their liking only, but they also weren't stupid. Left to their own devices their cooks were nothing short of stunning and Elsa and Anna didn't disturb their balance.

Near the end of the food prep they had both stopped tasting and poking and watching over shoulders and stayed against the wall. It was nice to take in all the activity and not focus on anything difficult. Elsa was salivating as enticing smells surrounded her, and as she watched Anna close her eyes to take a whiff she laughed quietly. Anna just opened her eyes and smiled back. 

Royal servers seated them along with Olaf, who decided to join even if he didn't eat. He didn't join every night, sometimes going to see a friend in the village or getting stuck reading. 

They also seated them with a guest, which was...not expected. When Kai walked the man in, he rushed up to the table with a guilty look on his face. "Queen Anna!" he exclaimed and Elsa nearly forgot to show she heard him. 

She had just sat down. "Kai? Is that-?" The man was at least familiar. He was a tall, almost ridiculously muscular man with golden skin and a handsome face. His hair was long and curly, held back by a black band and brushing his neck. He was dressed in a fine dark green suit decorated with various symbols and little medals. Over his heart was his kingdom's crest: a silver shield featuring a green cloud housing green musical pipes. It was one of the oddest Elsa had ever seen. 

"Menander! He is the appointed ambassador from Graeci that visited with Kristoff today. He insisted on meeting with you tonight and having dinner and since you didn't see him earlier-" Kai seemed very nervous. Elsa didn't really know why. Menander was a nice enough person even if any time he visited Arendelle he pushed to have a party. She hadn't seen him since she ruled as Queen.

"Of course. Hello Menander, is everything alright?" she asked, and then hurried to add, "I'm so sorry we missed you this morning!"

"Ah!" He clasped his hands together, bowed, and regarded them. "Oh yes, I believe so, but I did wish to see you! The energy coming from the castle has been so strange, so fantastic mostly but riddled with confusion. I did tell you I'm a bit of a psychic! I simply must learn what is going on!"

"You..." Elsa didn't know what to say.

"Oh yes! Anna did mention that to me too," Anna said quickly and while Menander's gaze was off her, she made a face. 

"I remember too!" piped up Olaf.

"Yes. Yes! Ah, so that's why you've insisted on joining us?" Elsa asked, completely blown away by the direction the conversation was taking. 

"Why yes! And if I see something bad hidden by all this, I will surely warn you," he said, and happily bowed again. "I do humbly request that you not see me joining you suddenly for dinner as an insult, your highness!"

Usually, it would have been. Elsa didn't tolerate any of her dinners with Anna being interrupted. That was time for them. However, she had also completely avoided meeting with the man that day and was fortunate he didn't count it as a slap in the face. "No, no it's fine. I was unable to see you earlier, after all!"

"You did send your absolutely delightful Kristoff! We always love seeing him, if he isn't helping us move things, he will often read lines with us when we practice our dramas in the courtyard." Menander reminded her of a walking smiley face with his big grin. "Wonderful. What is dinner?"

"We're having delicious skrei with olives and-" Anna tried to answer and was cut off.

"Wonderful!" He seemed to like that word.

"I can't eat it," Olaf chimed in. "But it sure does look good!"

"Aha little snowman! I almost forgot about when I tried to serve you apple pie and it dropped right through you." Menander happily patted Olaf's head and looked between the sisters eagerly. "That feeling is in the air again, stronger! And I believe I see a flaming heart of love about us," he said, and grinned at Anna.

"Oh um..." Elsa tried not to freeze up as she watched a little cloud start forming above Anna's head. "Sure, there definitely is."

"Where IS Kristoff?" Menander asked and Elsa caught on a second later. He had been referencing Anna and Kristoff, of course. 

She pretended to act like nothing was going on. "Oh! He's well. He's gone to visit the trolls, but he will be back for the party. He wouldn't miss that."

"Excellent. I would hate to have him miss out. Hmm, but there's something else here, what is this sense in the air? Something is strong but there is unease..." He looked to Elsa. "Is there unrest in the kingdom?"

"No," Elsa answered, surprised. "Everything is well. What unrest do you think you feel?"

"Perhaps it's one of you!" He turned his attention to Anna, and opened his mouth to speak when food started to come out, starting with a salad. Anna and Elsa immediately dove in and so did Menander. His mouth was occupied and Elsa was relieved. She knew Anna was too which was great - the little cloud faded.

Menander was nice, but he could tell something was up and didn't get that he should shut up about it. It was going to make things tougher for Anna, and the last thing they needed was her accidentally icing anyone. 

Still, he continued when he could. "Something just seems off. Have you been happy, dear Queen? I have heard no news about the wedding we expected to learn more about. Has he foolishly changed his mind?"

Anna bristled a bit and hid her hands under the table. The air was...frosty. "No," answered Elsa, not about to get into that issue right then. "Honestly, Menander, we just want to enjoy dinner without this." She didn't know what he was doing anymore - sniffing out information? Playing at being a head doctor? It was likely both. Her hands became hidden as well as she tugged at her fingers.

"Well. I can stop," he said kindly as the main course was delivered. "But when all is unsettled, things get mixed about. I hope whatever is going on, you two figure it out," he told them. His eyes lit up at the delicious fish placed before him. "Perhaps focus on this warm fuzzy feeling my senses pick up. Until then, let's dine!"

"Yes! Let's!" Olaf chimed in, and then proceeded to start flipping through a book he brought in with him. . 

When Menander turned to his fish, Elsa and Anna exchanged glances. His words hit a bit too close, but there was no way he could know what was happening. Still Elsa was aware she and Anna needed to talk more about her decision, and where her head was. 

Making their way through dinner was a little painful. They weren't in the mood to entertain a guest, which was bad form for a queen but Elsa didn't care much at the moment. She tried to focus on eating and some chitchat with Menander, about the party, about decorations which she did not care about. Olaf, though, that amazing little snowman got excited about the party and started talking Menander's ear off about helping him put it together.

Elsa had to remember to do something extra special for him later.

Finally their dinner was ending with a lovely cake for dessert. "Fine, fine, how fine it all was!" Menander said, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied expression. 

Anna had begun to look a little brighter; she always did adore her desserts. She had scarfed it a little more than Elsa would have liked, but she also ate a bit too delicately herself. There wasn't any food on her face. By the time she realized that she couldn't really smack any sauce on her cheek without it being blatant. 

If Menander noticed anything he didn't voice it, which Elsa was thankful for. "Yes, our kitchen staff is amazing, and they know just how we like things cooked," she said."

"How wonderful they haven't forgotten since you left for the forest!" Menander said with a smile.

"Elsa visits all the time," Olaf informed him with a big smile. "If they forgot, that would be ridiculous! Sometimes she goes in the kitchen when she's here and tastes things."

"Oh, yea, I like to just wander around and eat whatever I see when I visit," Anna said casually. She failed at hiding a small smile and Elsa had to bite her lip. 

Well. She could shoot back. "Sometimes that's good, because I've been known to eat a whole sandwich right before dinner and if Elsa accidentally pigs out I don't really worry about there being less food." She calmly sipped her elegant little glass of water. Anna was glaring a little. 

"One time when there was some tasty soup going, I just walked in there and froze it solid-"

"Anyway, I think it is time for us to retire for the night," Elsa said, cutting off whatever embarrassing story her sister was about to tell. She had many more she could fire back with and they should at least try to be civil in front of a guest. 

Truthfully, though, she was enjoying herself a lot with the back and forth. 

Menander looked a little disappointed. "Oh? I did hope we could have drinks and perhaps sit by the fire!"

"It's been a long day," Anna said, looking at her plate. "I had a rude awakening this morning and well, I'm exhausted."

"And I must look after my sister and be sure that she's alright. We both need energy for your party tomorrow," Elsa explained. 

That seemed to brighten up Menander. "Ah, yes! Glorious!"

"I'll come play cards with you," Olaf offered Menander. "Or we can play something else! I'm not tired," he said. Elsa felt a little bad, as Olaf usually hung around with Kristoff and Sven at the castle. He had to feel a bit lonely even if he did also spend more time in the library.

"Splendid!" Menander carefully arranged his dishes and smiled at Olaf. "I'm in!" He slowly rose from his chair, then turned to bow to the girls. "Thank you for having me to dinner this evening!"

"Well, you sort of showed up without asking," Olaf pointed out.

"And, we're glad for it," Elsa rushed out as she and Anna stood. "Thank you for your company, Menander. We are honoured to have you."

"Yes!" Anna added. "Very much so, and we will be happy to see you tomorrow."

Menander bowed again and bid them goodnight. Olaf ran to hug Anna and Elsa, and they both told him goodnight. As soon as the other two had left, the sisters picked up their dishes. Neither one was a fan of leaving an awful mess for the servers, even though sometimes they had to be batted away for the staff to do their job. Anna and Elsa were never offended. They had the staff for a reason after all. 

Both of them had also been known to be so helpful they made the job harder.

It felt like too long before they were able to get to their bath. And a magnificent bath it was - it was far bigger than the normal one person tub the girls used usually and was almost like a small swimming pool. The water was heated through the floor with a hypocast built far before the sisters were born. It worked wonderfully though, the room heated and the steam rich but not thick enough to suffocate them.

The stone floor beneath them was almost shiny. Anna had kept it in good shape, but evidently never used the bath herself. For her first usage of it she had made sure flower petals were spread in it. There was lavender with red and yellow rose inviting them in for a stress-free soak. The staff who prepared it hastily left as Elsa told them they were not to be disturbed and finally they could get comfortable.

Elsa had a somewhat easier time stripping for the bath, knowing Anna seeing her own body wasn't too weird for her. At least she didn't think so.

When she was completely naked, she heard Anna make a sound and turned to see herself topless and staring. Elsa blinked. "Uh-"

"I've never seen my own butt! I mean I've - over my shoulder in the mirror. Not the same though." Anna started walking closer and Elsa felt weird. She covered herself with her arms. That made Anna roll her eyes. "Your nipples can't be cold!"

"They're not! It's just..it's weird to see me." She tried to keep her gaze on her own face. For some reason it felt awkward to look at her own nude body at the moment. 

"Elsa these are your breasts," Anna said, stopping about a foot from her. "You don't have to be shy, you've seen them a lot. Probably."

"Oh, not helping." Elsa wasn't a prude, and she wasn't ashamed of her own body at all. It was just beyond bizarre to be seeing in front of her, and if she looked down then she saw her sisters naked form. She did not need to see that; she felt guilty enough any time she'd needed to use the bathroom that day.

She definitely didn't want to think about that.

"Yours are heavier than mine," Anna said and Elsa finally looked to see Anna shoving her hands under her breasts and jiggling them.

"Anna!" 

"What? If we have to be switched up then we might as well compare." Anna reached for one of Elsa's folded arms and tugged gently. "Come on, touch mine and then yours."

Elsa's cheeks burned but perhaps she was thinking about it too much. Anna was both her sister and her best friend. She was the only person Elsa felt truly comfortable around and if everything in that day showed her anything, it was how close she always wanted to be with her. "Right, right." She agreed, reached out one hand, and touched her own breast. "This is weird." With great hesitation she shoved one hand up underneath one of Anna's.   
It wasn't as strange as she thought it'd be. It certainly wasn't normal, but it was sort of interesting. "Yours are lighter than air," she said, kind of surprised. "I mean, comparatively anyway." Anna's were kind of perfect. But she'd rather touch them when in the proper body and- that's where it got weirder. She dropped both her hands. "Let's get in the bath," she said and quickly walked by Anna.

"Wait! Do you want to see your butt?"

Elsa wondered if her face was somewhere beyond red. She didn't answer Anna, going down the little steps into the bath. She shouldn't have such thoughts and it bothered her. To want to be near her sister, to want to protect her, hug her, and shower her with affection was normal right? Wanting to touch every inch of her perfect being and feel her precious skin under her fingers and lips was different. She wanted to appreciate her beautiful Anna. 

She didn't even know if it was a sexual thing. Elsa had never been interested in the idea before. At the same time she never had anyone to talk to about it. There wasn't really anyone in her life to work those questions out with. Sadly it was yet another thing that had sort of gone by for her, and it was depressing along with confusing. She sank down into the water, watching the rose petals go by. If only it was the sort of thing she could ask Ahtohallan to clear up for her.

Anna had slipped into the bath, bringing a floating basket of soaps and hair wash for them. "Elsa?" she asked, her top half not underwater yet. "I'm sorry if I took it too far, it's just interesting, that's all. If we- in our normal bodies I wouldn't have been touching your chest like that. Not that I disliked it, I-ah..." And then Anna was red.

That brought some comfort to Elsa. "I didn't dislike it either, Anna. The thing is -I'm...Anna?"

"Yes?"

It was best to be honest. "Anna, you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen." She sort of blurted it out and it wasn't even what she meant to say. Her brain to mouth filter malfunctioned and she had come up with something more intense than planned.

"Elsa!" Anna laughed nervously. "You're just being nice because you're in my body and you're a lot hotter than me."

"What!?" How could she think that? Elsa knew she herself was pretty, she wasn't up to acting like a fool for the sake of making anyone feel better, even Anna. At the same time, she felt she didn't compare to the redhead. "Anna, no, that's not true. I love-I love everything about this body," she said, rising up a little more and looking down. "But I really love it with you in it."

Anna bit her lip. "That's how I feel about yours. Elsa, you're stunning. I don't mind being trapped in you but...I wish it was back to normal too, so I could open my eyes and see you in front of me instead of myself. I want to hug you and be actually hugging your body. That's when I'm happiest."

"You mean when things are normal?" Elsa asked, turning her head. She carefully fingered one of the yellow rose petals in the water, just for something to do with her hands. She had no gloves to tug or ice to shoot. 

Anna dipped her hands in the water and the connection hissed. They must have been cold. She looked down."I mean...always. Elsa my favorite thing is being with you and close to you. I can't-I can't explain how much I've missed you." Her fingers moved under the water and there was a bit of a glow. 

No chill had reached Elsa yet, though she wasn't sure if it would. She wasn't even focusing on the water temperature. "Anna, I've really missed you too..."

"And yet, you stay up there."

It was like a sword to the heart. Elsa felt guilt and sadness at once and she stared at the water too. She felt she ought to say something, but she didn't know what. Saying she was sorry didn't seem to suffice, and she didn't have any good excuse not to be at the castle more. If she was being honest with herself, even she wasn't sure what she gained by living between the glacier and the forest. She valued her Northuldran friends but they didn't cross her mind when she visited the castle.

"I'm not mad at you," Anna said, and the water swished gently with her movement. "I know it might seem like it. Maybe I should be. But I don't want to spend any of our time together being mad, I just want to hold onto it as long as I can. I waited so long for you to open up your door... I'm not going to be angry now that you're here." She stopped just in front of Elsa, as she could tell from the water.

Yet, Elsa could not look up. She felt too ashamed. She hurt and closed Anna out and treated her to three short years of her time, then was gone again. However badly she felt about not being with her, what Anna dealt with from her was terrible and Elsa didn't even think she deserved to be around her. 

"Elsa? Please look up at me," Anna told her, and suddenly cold hands cupped her face. Elsa startled and Anna gasped. "Sorry. I'm nervous."

The cold hands certainly got her attention and Elsa met her gaze. She fell in immediately, letting the hands carress her face gently. It all felt so good, the coolness on her cheeks and the heat over the rest of her body. "You're too good to me, Anna."

"Be kind to yourself." Anna touched their foreheads together. "I know behind the door you weren't happy either. I know you were alone and scared. I still had more freedom than you, I could be myself." She stroked the sides of her head slowly. "You deserve to be forgiven and you deserve to be cherished. I cherish you, Elsa."

Elsa was speechless. She had said similar things to Anna, tried to build her up all the time. That moment, their situation, that was different. She felt her eyes welling up as her love and gratitude started to spill over. They'd been discussing their bodies and somehow it turned into something else. Tears welled in her eyes before she could stop them. "Anna..."

Anna placed gentle kisses just above her eyes, paused, and then pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around Elsa tightly. "I love you so much Elsa. I don't ever want you to forget it. I feel true happiness when you're here."

Immediately, Elsa hugged her back. She wished she were feeling Anna's smooth back under her hands instead of her own, wished it was Anna's chest against hers, but it was Anna's soul entangled with her own and so she was able to be satisfied. "Anna...I love you more than I think I can ever tell you," she said, squeezing her. "You're part of me." That wasn't said with the fifth spirit in mind.

They stayed like that, for a while. Elsa watched the yellow and red rose petals float gently around them, some stopping against their bare skin. She barely felt them. The smell of lavender gently drifted to her and calm gradually settled in her heart along with her bursting fondness for Anna. If only she could just stay in her arms...

That was unrealisitic. After a while Anna shifted and released her, though she stroked her hands down her arms. "Would you like me to wash your hair?" she asked softly.

"I'd love that," Elsa replied. It did sound nice. When they were in their correct bodies she'd love it even more, but feeling Anna work through the tangly hair and massage her head sounded like heaven in that moment. 

"Good," Anna said and she let go of her to get back the basket that had tried to float off. She quickly brought it over and pulled Elsa forward as she positioned herself behind her. Anna kneeled behind her and first draped hersef over Elsa's back. Her lips were next to Elsa's ear, breath warm on it as if she were going to speak. 

She didn't, however. Anna kissed the side of her head and began to work on her hair instead, little tugs leading Elsa to tip her head back. She took a deep breath and let her eyes close. All she could do for the time being was lose herself in Anna, and she was okay with that.


	4. Part 4

The bath lasted a long time. Anna's gentle caressing of her hair and skin felt like like a dream. She rubbed her shoulders and soaped her back, even reached around to soap her boobs with a small giggle. Elsa shook her head after with a little smile and returned the favor after. She washed her hair with skilled fingers, knowing just what made it hang best. She went over her back and chest quickly and eventually they had just sat side by side.

With no words spoken between them they still communicated with looks and light touches. Elsa had taken Anna's hand and rested it against her knee as their heads rested against each other. She turned over everything Anna had said in her mind.

Forgiven. Cherished. 

Did she really deserve all that from Anna? She wouldn't usually be sure. But with the way Anna had spoken to her, with conviction and love, she had no choice but to believe her. Anna would never lie about how she felt. 

When Elsa eventually shivered a little, Anna sighed and said she better dry off. Elsa had nodded slowly. Being cold and wet wasn't something she knew. She didn't even know why she was cold and wet with the nice warm tub. As she watched Anna rise from the water and start going toward the steps, she noticed a very thin layer of ice break on the side of her that had been opposite Elsa. 

No wonder. She never did that but Anna was hitting the point where she needed to use it again and lacked the expert control.

"It's so chilly," Elsa admitted, feeling totally weird saying so. She was too cold leaving the water to even feel weird about the nakedness again. Her own body was still odd to look at but Anna covered up with a towel soon enough. 

"Mmm, that's how it is after a bath." Anna came toward her with a big warm blue towel spread out. She hugged Elsa in it tightly and the soft fabric along with Anna's embrace had an immediate effect. "I'm here to keep you warm though, no matter what body I'm in." She pulled the towel up a bit to dry Elsa's hair.

Elsa smiled against her. It felt even easier than before to melt against her. The bit of conversation had helped. Her mind still struggled to understand what it all meant and what she should think of Anna, but she focused on being with her instead. 

"We need to get you dressed warm and in bed," Anna told her. I'll get myself set and then give you a robe for the walk to the bedroom. I'm not having anyone oggle you, my body or not." Her protectiveness continued always. 

As she stepped back Elsa shivered again immediately. Anna waved her fingers over her own head and sparkles of magic fell over her as she dropped her towel. As soon as it hit the floor a nightgown sprung up, coming over her legs and to her shoulders. It was a dark purple color with snowflake stars over the chest and down the sleeves. The bottom again kept sunflowers with the snow dancing off them.   
"Oh. I love it," Elsa said, staring and memorizing it. She really did love the nightgown. 

Anna giggled and flicked her hand at Elsa. A long cloak suddenly draped over her. It was a light purple with a white furred edge and little white gems decorating along the bottom. If it weren't made of ice, she imagined it would be warm. For the time being it was something she could wear over the towel and get the short distance to the room with. It did make her shiver even more. The way cold intensified, she could imagine it deep in her bones.

"Let's hurry," Anna said, frowning. "This cold really gets to you. I want to get you into something warm."

"So protective," Elsa murmured and Anna laughed a bit, putting her arm around her to escort her to the bedroom. 

Once in the bedroom, Anna picked a warm nightgown for Elsa. It was green of course. There were designs of wheat on the torso and that was about it. Mostly it was long sleeved and soft. Anna held it out to her and left her to get dressed, going to the balcony to shoot off some more ice. Elsa would have gone with her if her hair was not still damp. She wasn't sure she'd handle the cold and Anna promised she'd be quick.   
In the meantime Elsa set about feeding the room fireplace, craving the heat. It still didn't grow big enough for her, neither did it surround her. She needed more.

Anna returned just as quickly as she had promised. After carefully setting the curtaints to allow a bit of morning light, she saw and laughed at Elsa. She had pulled a red blanket around herself while she stood near the fireplace. How a chill could hold on! Elsa never imagined it like that. Her thoughts could only travel to when she had struck Anna's heart with ice and how slow the process had been for her. In Ahtohallan Elsa had frozen pretty quickly, but for Anna it took painful hours.

That shame was up there along with the thought of leaving Anna for the forest.

Guilt hit Elsa often enough, day by day it still entered her mind. It wasn't always there, but on some days it took her over. Even with the sweet things Anna had said to her she couldn't feel as good as she should. For most of the day she hadn't felt that bad but as cold clung after their bath, it really hit. 

She still tried to smile as she looked up at Anna. "Yes, yes, I'm cold. You'll never let me forget this, will you?"

"Nope. And something is wrong." Anna opened a trunk she had near her closet so she could fetch another blanket for them. "What's wrong?" she asked over her shoulder.

"Oh just-just thinking."

"That's not an answer," Anna said as she dragged a large white blanket over to the bed, kind of throwing it on. It wasn't a very neat job but it didn't matter. 

Avoiding talking wouldn't help. "I...I can't stop thinking about when you froze because of me, and how cold you were for hours. That has to have been torture and I can't believe I did that to you." She wasn't sure how she managed to spit it out but at least she did. Elsa looked back to the fireplace, not wanting to meet Anna's gaze.

As usual, that also didn't work. Anna walked over to her, tugged the blanket, and turned her back around. "You know how I said you deserved to be forgiven? I forgave you a long time ago, Elsa. Yes, it was painful. Yes, it was difficult. It hurt and was unlike anything I have ever felt... But I'm well past caring that it hurt. I wish you could be too."

"Hurting you in the first place as kids is what turned our lives upside down," Elsa said, knowing she was just pulling down the mood further, and unable to stop. She didn't know why. 

Anna sighed. "I wish I could remember it, still. I'm imagining it was a two person effort, you wouldn't have just shot me with ice."

Anna was right, but Elsa didn't say it. She just shrugged. "This is why, even though we've come so far, sometimes I wonder if it's better I'm in the glacier and away fr-"

"It ISN'T." Anna's voice - well, her usage of Elsa's voice - startled her a little. "I want you here. I want you here all the time. I don't want you to wallow in some kind of sadness over me instead of spending time with me. That's the last thing I want."

"I know..." She did.

Anna tugged on the blanket. "Yes, you do. Give me your time, then. Don't punish yourself by taking yourself away from me. Don't punish us both." 

The heat from the fire was suddenly almost too much on Elsa's face. The blanket nearly overheated her but she didn't want to shed it, not yet. She turned to face Anna. "Okay."

Anna took Elsa's wrist and tugged her toward the bed. "We're going to cuddle, and then we're going to sleep. I'm going to stay here with you the whole time and get it through to you that the best thing for me is to have you."

Again she sounded so firm so Elsa didn't argue. They got to the bed and Anna managed to push the big red blanket off her. She said they would leave it across the foot of the bed so Elsa could pull it up if she wanted to. Anna told Elsa to get in the bed first, pulling back the blanket for her.

"Why?" Elsa asked but obliged. She slid into the luxurious bed, the plush pillows offering her a world of comfort. The bed felt better than usual, for some reason. She laid on her back and stretched. 

The white blanket was raised and Anna slid right in. Instead of settling on the bed next to her, Anna crawled right on top of Elsa as she dragged the blanket over them both. She settled her body right against her sister's and propped herself with her elbows on either side of Elsa's torso. She smiled down at her as Elsa's long hair draped on either side of them both. "Warmer?"

"Yes." Elsa blushed up at her own face. "Very. Are you comfortable, though?" Anna was a warm and soothing weight against her. 

"Very," Anna whispered. She purposely focused her eyes on Elsa's. "Relax."

The connection happened again. They looked into each other's eyes and Elsa felt like she was traversing some divine odyssey in and with Anna. Bliss overcame her, filling her entire soul. Had anything ever felt so perfect? She would drown in it if she could. Anna had done it as if she knew exactly what she was doing and Elsa was thankful for it. 

Elsa was sure she was merged with her and they were one being. To pull away would be simply too much and she would never survive it. Light was so bright it blinded her, quiet so deep it deafened her. All she needed was Anna.

How long they stayed like that, she had no idea. When Elsa felt like she had returned to a normal, maybe 'mortal' feeling, Anna's face was over her shoulder with their cheeks pressed together. Elsa's arms were around her and she held Anna to her. Their hearts beat together.

And-

For a minute, they were fixed.

Anna was suddenly Anna and underneath her. Elsa was Elsa and her cheek was against Anna's. Somehow Elsa knew it wasn't permanent but she was too relaxed at the moment to care. She picked her head up and nudged Anna's nose with her own. Anna smiled at her and gently slid one hand up her back, fingers dancing through her hair. 

Elsa's lips found Anna's as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She pressed them against Anna's firmly and Anna kissed back. It was really a chaste kiss, no slip of a tongue or nibbling of the lips -but it was a meeting, a union, and devotion surged through Elsa's being. Her eyes fell closed and she was sure Anna's did too. 

When Elsa opened her eyes she was in Anna's body again, looking up at herself. And Anna had opened her eyes as well, looking down. Elsa lowered her hand from her hair to palm her cheek. Anna leaned into it. "I-I don't know what just...Well that was amazing," she managed. 

Elsa smiled. "Yes. It was. I don't know exactly what happened there either...but I'm happy it did." She turned her hand to stroke her cheek carefully with the back of her fingers. "Can you shift off me, a little bit?" she asked her.

"Is this...but...am I crushing..."

"No, no." Elsa laughed a little and started to turn her to the side. "I just want us both able to hold each other," she told her. Her guilt and anxiety had faded entirely for the night. All she wanted to do was appreciate Anna. She deserved to be hugged and cuddled rather than having to soothe Elsa. 

When they were both wrapped in each other Elsa kissed her nose and closed her eyes again, happy. She was sure Anna fell asleep right as she did. 

She saw the lightning again. 

It struck hard and bright on the ice and for a moment Elsa thought she had suddenly awoken. She thought she was knocked out and that everything she just experienced was a dream. The sadness she felt at that was incredible - to suddenly not have Anna, to find her and realize it was all a sick fantsasy. Could she possibly survive all of that?

But the lightning flashed brilliantly again and she saw Anna's eyes. She saw her smile, her freckles. She heard her voice but she couldn't understand what she was saying. She was there and Elsa reached for her even as she was pulled to her. 

'I'll never let you go again I'll never let you go again,' repeated in her mind. Darkness started to take over even as Anna's eyes stayed illuminated in the sky, sparkling with snowflakes gazing down at her.

And then-

There was a different, gentle glow and she found herself stirring. 

The night was still around them though Elsa was sure it was fading. She had rolled to face the nearly covered windows but Anna clung to her. She spooned her, face buried in the back of her neck with her arms around her. Elsa relished the comfort, sighing. Anna's grip on Elsa was tight, not loose and relaxed, as though she were awake. 

Maybe she was. "Anna?" she whispered.

"Elsa?" was the response.

"I just suddenly woke up, what about you?" She raised her hand to touch Anna's arm. The blanket still covered them. 

"I did as well." Anna repositioned to rest her head on Elsa's. "Are you okay?"

Elsa let out a sleepy laugh. "Yes. I promise, you didn't randomly wake up because something happened to me," she assured her. 

"Oh." Anna giggled lightly. "You know me..."

"I do." She squeezed her arm and settled down into her as much as she could. "I had a dream. I dreamt of the storm I'd watched before I was knocked out and woke up here."

"You had a dream too? I dreamt I was in my bed, where I had gone to-you were knocked out?" Anna asked suddenly.

Oops...Elsa hadn't told her that part. "I was...I wasn't struck directly by lightning, I don't think, but it came down too close and the energy knocked me out. That's my best guess," she admitted because she didn't know. "I'm sorry. I don't know why it took me until now to say that," Elsa told her. She was too sleepy to feel super guilty or awful. She just hoped Anna wasn't mad.

At first there was no response. Then Anna moved the arm she had over Elsa, gently stretching it from Elsa's grasp. She took Elsa's hand in her own and stretched both their arms across the bed. Their fingers laced together and Anna traced her lips over Elsa's cheek. 

Her response was thick with sleep. "I'm too sleepy and too happy to be mad at you. I worry about you and you'll hear about it later...not right now." She gave her cheek a proper kiss. 

Elsa snorted. "Oh, thanks," she mumbled, but a smile stayed on her face. She continued to stare out the window, swearing it had begun to lighten as dawn inched ever closer. "Why do you think we both work up? Usually you're not even close right now..." Maybe it was because of their different bodies, but then Elsa swore she'd be asleep.

Once again Anna didn't answer right away. She stayed quiet against her. When she did speak, Elsa was actually surprised. "To watch the dawn come. To watch the sun rising, together."

It was a sign of a new beginning, a change. Hope coursed through Elsa's being in a way she'd never known while she squeezed her hand. "You're right," Elsa replied. She had nothing else to add, because the moment was perfect as it was. 

Somehow their eyes stayed open, and every now and then one would squeeze the others hand to give a sign they were awake. Elsa took in every moment as the light grew and spilled in more. The sun began to paint their faces with thin rays as the new day began and Elsa could pick up the chirping of birds who liked to stay in and around the castle. Snowmen glittered in the light as light snow formed from Anna again. They held stick hands and spun in little circles as though they were dancing. 

When the morning was fully lit, Anna finally moved against her again, snuggling in. The snowmen laid down to rest. Elsa drew their joined hands back to fold their arms and rest against her chest. Their eyes fell closed and again they were pulled into sleep.

They slept for a couple more hours, before Elsa felt herself stir again, to the sound of a light knock on the door. She knew that knock and had it been anyone else, she would have told them to leave. With a glance back at Anna, who had continued to hold her, Elsa called for the visitor to come in.

In hurried Olaf, politely closing the door after him. "Wake up! Kristoff is back and Menander would like to have breakfast! We let you sleep in, you know," he said as he made his way to the side of the bed. 

"Huh..wha..." Anna began to stir. She stretched against Elsa. "Mmmno."

Elsa laughed. "Mmmyes, Anna," she said even though she wanted to stay put as well. However they had a day to get on with. There were queen things to do, along with solving their own mystery. "You've got to wake up," she said, turning on her back.

"Huh. Something big happened, didn't it?" Olaf asked, sounding almost impressed.

Elsa wasn't sure what he meant and was more focused on waking up Anna, who was just trying to snuggle on her shoulder as one leg crossed over her sister's. That was not helpful to the situation. "Big? No, we just slept. And we need to stop - Anna, come on, wake up. You need to get up."

"Comfy," Anna responded. 

"Anna!" Elsa had to keep from laughing again and she rolled a little more and pet Anna's head to make her face her. "Come on you."

"Something big," Olaf repeated again, but added nothing else.

Anna looked at Elsa finally, her eyes half open. If it were Anna's face, Elsa felt she would have been useless from how adorable she was. As a result she was able to keep her mind on track and so she did something else that felt weird. She leaned in to kiss her own lips. The kiss was like the one night before, though a little shorter. "Wake up," she said gently, not really pulling away.

Olaf gasped. "I just sensed it again! It's like the air shifted, is there a draft in here?" he asked. "All I feel is the warm sun! I love it."

"I feel it too." Elsa said, stroking Anna's face and slowly waking her up. It was difficult to look away from her eyes.

"Elsa..." Anna sighed, studying her.

"Anna, you rise and shine. You are my sun, after all," she told her softly. 

"Wow," Olaf said and somehow that distracted Elsa enough to look at him. Her glance was questioning and he smiled at her. "I'm sorry, it's just that every act of true love between you two makes me feel a rush of strength! Everything in this room feels so good."

Elsa raised an eyebrow. It shouldn't be so surprising that the feelings flowing between her and Anna affected him. He was created from both of them and now had experienced both of them powering his lifeforce. Regardless she hadn't expected it. 

When she looked back at Anna, her eyes were wide open as well and gaze settled on Olaf. "I didn't realize..." 

"I wouldn't have either," Elsa told her and then kissed her cheek. "We'll learn more I think, once you get up," she told her. She had no idea if that was true but hoped it was.

Anna did finally start moving. She sat up with Elsa and they both pulled themselves off of the bed. Olaf left the room so they could get ready and Anna went to the balcony to make some ice while Elsa selected what to wear. Oh how easy it would be if she could snap her fingers like usual! She was already very tired of undergarments and thinking about corsets and dress lengths...

Once again Anna used the sunflower dress she had created for herself, choosing to put her hair in a braid. Elsa had rarely worn her hair like that since entering Ahtohallan and it felt sort of weird to look at.The staff always seemed to like the familiarity when she had worn it like that in the past though, so she didn't really comment.

She did allow Anna to pin hers into a bun for breakfast even if it felt a bit heavy on her head. Anna decided to dress her in one of her more normal dresses with the light green along the bottom and dark green on top with an equally deep green cape. Elsa wasn't a fan of it but she wanted to appear very normal since they knew they had a guest.

Kristoff met them on the way to the main dining room. He looked very tired, still in the same clothes from yesterday and hair messed up. All of that was fairly normal but he also looked a bit unhappy. "I didn't really find anything," he said to them both as Anna greeted him with a little hug from the side.

To even it out and not make herself look odd, Elsa gave him a side hug too. There were a few members of royal staff milling around, going about their normal tasks. Elsa didn't need them to ask weird questions or start rumours about her and Kristoff. 

"So nothing at all?" Anna asked quietly, and Elsa didn't really believe him.

"Not really. The trolls don't do this kind of magic and Pabbie said it was the act of something bigger. He did seem concerned," he explained and that bit was something Elsa believed. She wished she could press him for more answers but aside from her feeling, she had no way to prove he was lying.

They had a breakfast to get to.

Kristoff walked with them to the dining room and opened the large double doors to lead them in. The table was already set with hot chocolate and waffles along with other breakfast treats. Menander was standing and waiting for them in a similar outfit to the night before. He bowed as the staff seated the girls across from each other. Menander was next to who he thought was Anna, and Kristoff was next to her in reality. Olaf sat on a side of his own sort of between the girls. 

"Ah how wonderful! I woke at sunrise, I'm sure you two have been up for hours!" Mendander declared happily, raising a mug of hot chocolate in cheer. 

"Oh yes," Anna said while Elsa chimed in with a "Yup".

"And I'm so pleased to have my truly great friend Kristoff here!" he said, looking at the blonde. Kristoff actually smiled. "It's glorious! You and Sven will help us decorate today, correct?" he asked.

Kristoff nodded. "Yes! I even brought some things from my trip last night! This will be one of our best parties yet, Menander."

"Yes! I even plan a short production for you two girls, if Kristoff would be so kind to help us read lines before lunch!" Menander added with a wink to Elsa. 

"A production?" Elsa asked.

Menander raised his mug again, nearly hitting Elsa in the face in his enthusiasm. "Like the comedies we have done for you before!" he said. "As there is a party tonight, we will keep it short for everyone will want to drink and dance!"

Elsa had to stop herself from saying a 'thank you' out loud. She wasn't in the mood for a play or even a party. Of course, if most in attendance were a bit drunk, perhaps it would be easier to escape with Anna to figure things out - or to kiss her again.

Outside of the bed she hadn't gotten to think about it yet but as it occured to her at the table, her face flushed. She didn't want to stick her tongue in her mouth or anywhere else for that matter. At the same time she wanted to kiss the whole of Anna's body and touch her skin and make her feel like the most loved person in the world. Anna deserved the appreciation. 

Menander laughed happily and she snapped out of it, noticing Anna staring at her with confusion. "What's so funny?" Elsa asked slowly.

"Nothing, nothing," Menander commented, catching himself and finally picking up a fork to eat with. Kristoff already had a mouthful and Anna had managed a bite of a waffle. "It's just the joy in the air! I have never been in the presence of a twin flame and never thought I'd be."

Anna was about to eat another bite when she paused. "A what?"

Elsa echoed her. "What?" Twin flame?

"Ah.." Menander put his fork back down and leaned back. "In my country, we have a story from long long ago. When humans were first created, they had four arms, four legs, and two faces. They were strong creatures, so strong that the greatest God feared them. Fear has always overpowered people and gods alike, and so he made the decision to split them apart to what we are now. We have two arms, two legs, one face, and a pain only one other on this earth may soothe. Whether we get this one lifetime or multiple to find this other half, our twin flame, the other piece of our soul...no one is really sure. Those who know are the souls who have found their other, who have finally formed their perfect bridge of emotion and understanding they have carried for so long."

What followed was a moment of total silence.

Elsa's mouth was dry. She felt dizzy as he told his story, nearly gasping at the end. She looked at Anna who was staring right back at her in surprise, waffle on her fork and syrup dripping slowly to her plate. 

They both were realizing it. Elsa's mind buzzed and she thought of when she and Anna were separated by her door. It was all because of fear. Shame was secondary to it, or maybe part of it, but it was fear, just like the force that split the beings in Menander's tale.

Anna was her...

"You and Kristoff will experience happiness that many have only dreamt of!" Menander told her and Elsa's stomach turned hard.

Of course Menander would think it was between Anna and Kristoff. He was only so 'psychic' after all. "Oh, I..aha..." Elsa knew she should respond better but she couldn't. She couldn't think at all.

She especially couldn't think as a harsh breeze blew through the room and the walls began to ice up. Cracking patterns of ice went up quickly and light snow fell in the room. A storm was starting to brew and Anna's eyes were still wide. 

"Elsa," Elsa hissed, starting to panic.

"Elsa!" Kristoff chimed in, giving Anna a meaningful look.

Menander's smile wavered. "Ah-did I say something wrong?" he asked. He looked to Olaf, who stared too at Anna. "Um..."

Anna blinked and then looked at them all. "Huh? Oh-sorry." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The snow started to stop, though the walls were still icy. "I got really caught up in the story," she said weakly.

Kristoff just gave her a look while Menander calmed down,laughing a little. "Goodness me!" he said. "I thought perhaps I had misspoken, or that there was trouble with the upcoming wedding."

"No," Elsa shook her head. "No trouble," she lied.

Kristoff was looking at his mostly eaten waffle then, clearly not looking at anyone else. "Going smoothly," he managed. 

"Is that so?" Menander asked him, and it was clear everyone at the table knew that Kristoff had grown upset,pushing the waffle around on his plate. 

"He's stressed," Anna added in and took a bite of her waffle in an attempt to bring things to normal. Elsa tried to sip her hot chocolate and get to her food. No one wanted the conversation to go where it was trying to go and it was immensely awkward.

Menander's enthusiasm could not be stopped. "Ah my friend, don't worry! We shall rehearse vows, walks, anything you need tonight at the party after the main party!" he said while Elsa rolled her eyes. Good thing he was watching Kristoff.

"I don't need any of that." Kristoff pushed his entire plate away. "I actually-I'm tired. I got to the valley late last night and came back so early this morning." He started standing up.

"Kristoff?" Elsa asked, watching him with concern. There was certainly a shift in the mood with him getting up to leave and it brought back the familiar and quite frankly, annoying feeling of guilt. The feeling had become so repetitive she wanted to scream at it. 

He offered her a smile."I'll be alright Els-Anna. I just need a good nap in the hay with Sven. He's tired too after all."

"You want me to come with you? I'll sing you to sleep!" Olaf offered, but Kristoff shook his head.

"Thanks Olaf, but that's okay! I'll catch up with you all later," he told them before turning to leave.

Elsa watched him go with pain in her chest, sure that Anna felt the same way.


	5. Part 5

The rest of breakfast was a bit awkward. Menander tried to be positive, tried to get everyone going again and inspire joy, but neither Elsa nor Anna could feel it. When they dismissed him Elsa tried to make an apology for the unfortunate mood that had taken over the meal, but he acted like it was no big deal. Menander rarely tended to take offense to anything and Elsa was very grateful.

Too many other royal visitors liked to act like they were above human emotions.

The sisters left their dishes to be properly picked up by the servers instead of trying to help, knowing neither of them were in a place to even do somewhat of a good job. They left the dining room to start the day though they didn't want to, while Olaf said he was off to the library. As they made their way into a hallway that would lead to the more public, less personal part of the castle, Anna gently took Elsa's arm and slowed her to a stop before she stepped in front of her. 

"Elsa? I don't want to leave you for the day but...but I think I better go talk to Kristoff. This is one of the better chances I'll get to do it since I won't be actually doing the queen stuff..." She bit her lip, showing she felt guity. 

It was a good idea and Elsa knew it, so she nodded. "Okay. I think you should too. I'm kind of worried about him." She didn't want Kristoff hurting. Deep down a more selfish part of her wanted to feel like she could hug and touch Anna around him without it being a blow to his heart....but she was sympathetic. Sometimes Elsa worried she felt too much as a result of turning back on everything her father taught her about her feelings.

Anna relaxed. "Yes. He's been really good about all of this. He wants me to be happy, you know? I want him to be too." She took a deep breath. "I'm nervous. I don't like being in this position."

"No, I imagine not." Elsa took both of Anna's hands, trying to find something helpful to say. Oh,of course she had suitors who had tried to date her, men and women had insisted they loved her and she turned every one of them down without much of a thought. She hadn't known any of them as more than acquaintances so it didn't weigh on her to stress over their well-being. "Just...just make sure he knows he's our family. He always will be. I'm not great at showing it, but I do love him."

"So do I." Anna squeezed her hands. "Just not the way I thought I did and almost wished I did. I just...I can't feel for him the way I feel around you," she said with red cheeks.

Processing what that meant was still hard for Elsa. "What is it you feel, around me?" she asked. Romance? They were sisters, and that was very taboo, wasn't it? At the same time they never really got to be like sisters. Did that mean anything? 

Did it really matter when they were so happy with each other? The course of true love never did run smooth, she'd heard somewhere.

Anna looked down at their hands. "It's love but it's more than love. Devotion, longing," she whispered, still looking down. "Longing for what, I don't really know. I-I just need you. Without you I feel all mixed-up and alone." 

Elsa felt like her heart was going to pound through her chest. That was about how she felt even if she felt no word or phrase was deep enough to describe it. She lifted their hands and placed little kisses along Anna's fingers. "I feel the same. Nothing feels right unless you are there with me." Anna was that other part of her that Menander's story had mentioned. She knew it and Anna knew it, but she felt scared to vocalize it. It didn't matter that they had realized it before on that beach far to the north.

Anna raised her face and Elsa took advantage to kiss her on the lips yet again. She could get used to it. Both of their eyes fell closed and they stepped closer to each other, hands still gripping each other and pressed between them. 

They held the kiss for longer than the night before, Elsa's hands moving to her waist as Anna grasped her arms. Elsa wanted to hold her close but she knew they would be signicantly delayed if she gave in. So even as her heart told her not to let go, she did, and she sighed when she had pulled her face away. "We have a day to get on with, I'm afraid," she said sadly.

"I know." Anna let go of her as well. "We better...we better get to it, huh?"

Elsa nodded. "Meet you for lunch?" 

Anna smiled brightly. "Of course."

Being without Anna for that morning was torturous. 

It wasn't meeting after meeting that got to her. They were rather dull and full of things she had to deal with all the time as the queen. There was new staff to hire as a couple of the castle's own would be moving far away. Sometimes that was a challenge, seeking who they could trust, but Elsa was pretty good at detecting anyone who might be trouble.

As a result it was again just another easy but dull task.

The paperwork was where things really got to her, because she was alone in the study reading line after line. Usually she may have enjoyed that retreat from people that still allowed her to work but she couldn't stop thinking.

She was away from Ahtohallan and found herself barely giving it a thought. The glacier, the spirits, the Northuldra - all were very precious to her. She would not just leave them all and never go back. She learned so much in that forest and found a harmony within herself she had sought for her entire life. There was no way she could turn her back on her answer and her heritage.

While she had found that peace in herself, in time she found that it didn't make her fully happy. It didn't make her complete. It just settled the storm into something she could more fully understand. 

The problem was, it was still lonely. She could understand and process her feelings better, but it was much more desireable to have someone at her side for it all. Only one person, one soul could fathom the power and beauty of the storm like she did. 

That was Anna. That was who she wanted to be with. She didn't think it meant she wanted to marry her, but then what was it? She didn't think it meant sex either, but at the same time she still wanted to feel all of her. Maybe she did want to kiss her deeper. Maybe she did want to explore her in ways she shouldn't...

Elsa struggled to grasp it all, and all the while it all only brought her a big headache. She pulled her braid down from the bun to help. She'd worn it long enough.

It only hurt more as again she heard a familiar knock on the door and invited Olaf to step into the study. She hadn't expected him to come see her but had no desire to turn him away. She just hoped he wouldn't be in the mood for his sillier antics.

Yet as he approached Elsa, she could see concern in his wide eyes. "Elsa?" He hurried toward her. "Elsa, are you alright?"

"I'm...why do you ask?" 

Olaf stopped on the other side of the desk. "Things at breakfast didn't feel right. I was going to leave it alone but I couldn't. I got worried..." He tapped the ends of his stick fingers together a bit nervously. "Am I allowed to ask?"

"Of course," Elsa said, folding her arms and resting her chin on her hands as she leaned forward. She tilted her head slightly, surprised that Olaf would suddenly ask for permission. "Why wouldn't you be?"

"It feels..." Olaf tapped his chin. "Private. What is happening with you two, sometimes I feel your magic and sometimes I guess I feel something else. I didn't want to intrude," he said with a small voice. 

Precious Olaf. Looking at him, Elsa's smile reached her eyes. Of course the magic that made him, that flowed from Ahtohallan and into her, of course it enabled him to pick up strongly on their emotions. She couldn't possibly be mad at him for that. "You're a part of me. You're a part of both of us, Olaf. You can always ask." 

He looked up at her with a wide smile. "Then answer me, are you okay?" 

She sighed. "I don't know, Olaf." Being honest with him was something she had to do, even if it did feel a little tough. "You see...I only feel complete and happy with Anna."

"Of course," he said with that little chuckle of his. "She's your sister!"

"Yes...but it's something more than that. Olaf, we didn't get to grow up as sisters. At a young age we were pulled apart and even though I would glimpse her in passing, see her at dinner now and then, I couldn't spend time with her due to my powers. I didn't have good control and I was so scared to hurt her. We became two strangers in the same big castle." Talking about it made her heart feel heavy.

"You were never strangers," Olaf insisted while plopping his head - his entire head - on the desk. "At least you tried not to be!"

He was right about that. "I did like to do things for her when I could...sneak treats and gifts into her room when she was asleep if I could, or try to pass things via our parents." She had always done her best to make Anna's life a little better. The guilt she felt when that little girl would knock on her door and ask her to play was almost too much in those days.

She was unsure she would ever shake it.

"You're right, Olaf. We both tried in our own ways. I watched her and listened to her. But it was still a strange existence." They didn't get to truly know each other until she was twenty-one. Not even as a teenager. The connection wasn't what most sisters had, as far as she knew.

Olaf continued to stare. "Oooooh. Now you two can see each other as much as you want and do whatever you want together! It's exciting! Is that it?"

That was close. She thought so anyway. "Almost. But we've had that freedom and love for a few years now. It's only intensified. Olaf...I've never been interested in romance, having a partner, getting married, anything like that. It doesn't really suit me. But I can see myself spending my life with Anna. I want to give her everything, I want to share everything with her. She is my soulmate Olaf, you see that don't you?" She surprised herself as she admitted all of that. She hadn't even said all of that to herself. 

Olaf started to tilt his head and it just fell to the side. He winced. "Oof that was too far...have you said all of that to Anna?" he asked.

She shook her head slowly. "No...we talked a little earlier. She told me how she felt for me. I told her I felt the same and kissed her but we didn't figure anything out." Elsa realized what she said and sat up straight in a panic, covering her mouth. Olaf did not need to know about the kiss.

"You kissed her?" He made a little bit of a confused face. It quickly snapped back to a smile. "True Love's kiss! There's never anything bad about that! It's just another way to show your care."

Slowly, she lowered her hand and looked at him. "Well....yes, I guess it is." Who said a hug or holding hands was the only way for them to show affection? Kissing Anna was just her way. It was just for them. ...And if she saw anyone else even try to kiss Anna she would kindly ask Gale to blow them away and-

Things ran a little deeper than she was sure she could convey to Olaf with words. For the moment, she supposed she was close enough. He had helped in return. "Ah, thank you Olaf," she said, reaching for his head to turn it right side up. "You've helped me work things out a bit."

"Oh, you're welcome!" he said, picking his head up and putting it back on his midsection. "Do you feel better?" he asked, looking at her hopefully.

She didn't have a good honest answer. Elsa felt a little more relieved, yes, but her mind was still a bit heavy. "I guess I feel a little better."

"You'll feel better when you see Anna, then!" Olaf kept smiling. "I'm going to go back to the library for now. You come find me if you need to and we'll find a fun story," he told her.

Elsa smiled at him. "Sure.

His words played over in her head. She could see Anna any time she wanted except - except there was that pesky bit where she was currently also residing in the forest and Ahohallan itself. Would it really be turning her back on her heritage if she decided not to live there at all, and only go on extended visits where she could bring Anna with her? Looking after a forest wasn't as involved in actively being the queen of a kingdom, there were no laws to write, no meetings to hold. Who would she hold them with, the reindeer?

If something truly threatened the Northuldra and life around them she could easily find out and get there to take care of things. It wasn't really shedding her responsibility to live fulltime with her Anna, was it?

Oh, 'her' Anna...she'd viewed her as such for a long time, she supposed, but hadn't recognized it quite so directly. All of her thinking and searching onlymae her feel anxious, though, so she couldn't find the joy in that phrasing when she thought of it.   
Finally, it was time for lunch. Olaf was right. When Elsa found Anna in the Great Hall with a little picnic basket and heavy cloak over her arm, she immediately felt better. She swept upon her with a big hug and would have kissed her, except that there were guards around and Gerda was also about. The kisses were meant to be private. 

Anna took her hand. "I figured you wouldn't object to a picnic outside. I've got a nice big cloak to keep you warm."

If she wasn't worried about letting her down, Elsa would have indeed objected. She didn't want to feel the chill. It was too unsettling. However, she nodded anyway and let Anna pull her out. 

It wasn't so bad though; Anna had chosen a stone table on the royal grounds that had a little decorative shelter. It even had a little Arendelle flag sticking out from the roof and was in good shape. They had to have eaten in it before, but usually the sisters preferred to wander off farther or sit under a tree. Anna clearly chose it to keep some of the spring breeze off of Elsa. The sun was shining as brightly as the day before and the weather was very calm. 

Once Elsa sat, and shivered because her butt was definitely cold, Anna covered her with the cloak and hugged her around her shoulders. She squeezed her and sat down opposite her with the basket on the top of the table. 

"I had some warm vegetable soup made," she said as she unpacked a couple of thick bowls with covers carefully attached. Next she took out some rolls and a couple of containers of what she said was hot tea. "I wanted to come outside and away from anyone who might hear us..." she explained and looked at Elsa.

It made sense then, that Anna had asked her to come out even though she knew it might be cold for her. There was indeed no one around them. They were far enough from the walls that even if someone had a window open inside, they couldn't be heard. "I see," she said, reaching for one of the bowls of soup and a ladle for it. "So did something come from your talk with Kristoff, then?" As tired as she was of feeling it, once again she felt anxious. 

Then Anna seemed to wilt. Sadness was the main feeling around them, and Anna looked at the top of the table. "He's going to go, for a while anyway."

"Go?"

Anna nodded and picked up a roll, but that was all she did. She didn't even reach for her soup. "He has liked visiting with Ryder in the past and so he decided he wants to go up to the forest to stay with the Northuldra for a while."

"Oh." Elsa didn't know what to say to that. Well, she did, and it was that she thought it was a good fit for him. At the same time she didn't think Anna wanted to hear that right away.

Anna voiced it anyway. "It's a good idea, it is. Kristoff still llikes to sleep in the stables and he...well he talks about reindeer so much and how much he loved all the reindeer up there. Ryder is his 'brother from a northern mother' he told me once." She closed her eyes. "It's a good idea." She opened her eyes and they were wet. "He belongs up there," she said and her voice cracked as she couldn't hold it back. Her hands covered her face as she tried to silence her crying.

In a flash Elsa was up and on the other side of the table. She climbed onto the seat and took Anna into her arms, sharing the cloak with her. "Anna, Anna," she said, not sure what she wanted to follow that up with. She just held her tight.

"I know it wil be good for him," Anna sobbed, and slowly lowered her hands. "But he's still my dear friend and family. He will probably visit and he will still supply ice...if we need him we can send for him. But he won't-he won't be here."

"I know." Elsa gave her face little kisses, wishing she could take away the fat tears currently rolling down her own cheeks. 

"Elsa I'm going to miss him so much." Anna turned her body completely into Elsa and kept crying. All Elsa could do was keep holding her, keep kissing and nuzzling her face. She wasn't really sure how a genuine breakup and aftermath went. All she had to compare were the times she had separated from Anna, once in a flurry of drama to the North Mountain and again clad in her white dress and riding Nokk.

How she had hurt her...and Anna did not deserve more hurt. 

"You will Anna, I know. He needs to do this though. Kristoff needs to heal and this will probably help him." Elsa also knew how much Ryder talked about Kristoff and looked forward to his visits. Someone eager to see him and spend a ton of time bonding with him - actually, Kristoff was probably going to have a nice time up there."Think about the fact he will be happy," she tried to tell her.

Anna nodded a little against her. "He will. I want him happy, so happy. I wish I could have done that for him. I just couldn't."

"And that's okay, Anna. You deserve to be true and honest with yourself." She returned to peppering her with kisses. "It's difficult, yes. It will get better with time." That much she was sure of. Anna's guilt would go over time and Kristoff would still be there for them. For the moment he had wounds he needed to lick somewhere away from them. 

"Maybe. With you...it hasn't." Anna looked up at her. "Ever since you left to stay up there I've missed you every day. And now, he'll be up there, and when we are normal again, will you...you'll...what will happen?" she finally asked. 

Elsa hadn't expected to be asked that but she knew it was something to address. As a result she wasn't totally thrown off by the question. "Oh Anna...I..I haven't thought about the forest much as all these two days. I'm not even sure I want to go back to living there." She meant it. Her thoughts from earlier were starting to come together with every kiss she planted on Anna.

"You...wait, what?" Anna sniffed and looked up at her. Her eyes glittered with hope.

"I'm not completely sure yet! I...there is much I still want to learn and see through Ahtohallan and I do enjoy the spirits." Not feeling them ebbing into her mind was strange but freeing. She felt like she had before the call, minus having powers. 

Anna studied her face as if looking for any trace of a trick. "You mean it?" The tears weren't falling anymore. "I know you said you aren't sure but..."

"I do mean it. Being without you isn't right. Its not-leaving you had never been part of my plans and though I was distracted, I have still longed to be with you." She kissed the corner of her mouth. "I just don't know what the right decision is." She knew. She just wasn't sure how to go about shifting her life again. Perhaps it was easier than she thought...

"For now, I'll take that answer," Anna said cuddling into her. "For now I need that answer. It doesn't make me feel totally better about Kristoff, but...but it helps." She hugged Elsa under the cloak and rested her head on her shoulder. "It helps."

"I love you, Anna." Elsa closed her eyes and let the feeling of their shared flame envelope them, the chill far away. She rocked just slightly as she sought a way to comfort Anna further. Anna crying wasn't something she was okay with unless it was in joy. 

"I love you too," Anna murmured. "I want you to stay by my side forever." 

"I know you do," Elsa replied with a smile growing on her face. Could there be a person sweeter than Anna? Why would she want to be around anyone else? "We should eat, Anna. The soup will get cold, and even with ice powers I liked my soup hot." She didn't pull away.

"You're right...and YOU should eat!" Anna moved and Elsa opened her eyes to see her looking at her. "You need to warm up Elsa."

Elsa beamed at her. "I'm warm right now. But I am also hungry. Let's enjoy our lunch," she told her, and Anna agreed.

They stayed together under the cloak, cuddled together as they enjoyed their meal. Anna raised her ladle to Elsa's mouth several times and giggled as she fed her while Elsa rolled her eyes but smiled and took it. They linked their arms as they sipped down their hot tea, sharing little glances with barely any talking. Anna's face still showed a little red, her eyes too and her makeup was a little runny - Elsa still liked actual makeup and so her sister used it too. 

They decided after eating to go up to their room and fix Anna up. Both of them needed a minute before trying to resume the day. Their emotions were running high, mostly in a good way but Elsa was aware that Anna's sadness hadn't up and vanished. She could still feel it even as Anna hid it for the castle staff.

The basket and dishes were returned to the kitchen. As they exited, Elsa heard music. It was beautiful music, a waltz full of wonder. Violins worked under expert fingers and the carefree melody of the flutes made her smile. "That's wonderful, what is...oh!" Realization dawned on her.

At the same time, Anna responded. "Ah, Menander's band must be rehearsing for tonight! Some of ours are joining, I think. I know they all had a great time last time they all played together."

"Oh it's amazing. Tonight will be great," Elsa told her as they climbed the stairs to the bedroom. 

"Uh huh, but you're forgetting something." Anna snickered. "You don't dance, Elsa."

"So? Why would tha-ooooh." Oh no. The queen was going to be expected to dance. And she was going to have to dance nicely while looking happy about it.

There was a small amount of give luckily. Anna was graceful but she was also Anna, which meant she got carried away and sometimes tripped over her feet or knocked over another human being. Elsa didn't think she would go quite that far, but perfection from her would actually be a bit suspicious.

They reached the room and the music could still be heard. Anna grabbed Elsa's hand and pulled her in, giggling and closing the door. "Come on come on!" she said, leading Elsa to the open part of the room.

The music was very muffled, but it was there. "Anna..." Elsa had a feeling she knew what Anna was about to do. 

And she was right. Anna pulled her close and put an arm around her waist. She raised Elsa's other hand in her own and squeezed it. "Time for you to dance. Put your arm over mine."

"Is this right?" Elsa asked, a bit thrown off. She'd watched people dance hundreds of times. She just hadn't felt like paying total attention since she, again, did not dance. 

"Yes," Anna said, and she began to move her feet. "Follow my lead, Elsa. We're going to dance." She smirked at Elsa. 

Elsa glared back. "You're enjoying this too much."

"I sure am!" Anna gave a little tug to encourage Elsa to move with her. 

With some relunctance, Elsa finally lifted a foot to follow. The music was nice and she did kind of want to move to it, just, in her own way. She let Anna guide her, trying to follow her steps.

She stepped on her foot. "Ow!" Anna yelped.

"Sorry!" Elsa tried to pull her hand back from on top of Anna's arm, but Anna shot her a look. 

"Don't you dare. Dance with me, Elsa. Move with me," she said and her voice was so soft it sort of lulled Elsa back in. 

It was sort of tricky, but Elsa caught on quickly as Anna moved them around the room. Her hand remained in Anna's tight grip as her fingers gently played on her back. They drew ever closer and Elsa began to lose herself a little, everything blurring slightly. Her body almost moved of its own volition without Elsa even trying to tell it to. Her footwork matched Anna's and they went together seamlessly. The music felt louder even though she was sure through the floor and doors they should barely be able to hear it.

In fact, it was as though there were an orchestra in her head and suddenly it happened again. 

Elsa was in her body. Anna was in hers. Even though they switched they continued to dance with each other without missing a step. Elsa was looking into Anna's brilliant eyes, the rims not red and her face smooth and perfect. There was no trace of sadness at all. Instead there was glee. There was laughter. There was love. 

They were pressed together as their arms ended up around each other once again, turning in slow circles. Anna reached up once to tuck a stray hair of Elsa's before her arm returned to the embrace. They were one and it was perfect.

It was unsurprising that their faces grew closer. They touched their foreheads And Elsa stroked her face. Lips connected once again and eyes closed as they melted into one another. The music was all around them. It encouraged them and told them to keep going. It was even stronger than the call of Ahtohallan had been...

Elsa felt she could stay like that forever. She wanted to. Reality had to come back, however, and the music began to quiet. Their lips separated though they held each other still, and they were back in their switched bodies. Elsa was almost disappointed. She wanted to see Anna's face. 

Even if she couldn't see her face, Anna was still there in her arms. For the moment that was more than enough.


	6. Part 6

Pulling themselves out of the embrace to fix up and then leaving the room altogether was near impossible. Elsa decided she was going to stick with Anna the rest of the day. If she had to step away from her anytime soon she felt like she could spiral. That was certainly overdramatic and she knew it, especially since she was starting to grasp some understanding of her feelings. Had she fallen in love, then?

No matter what she couldn't process being apart from her, which made her think even more about leaving Ahtohallan. Memories of Anna could not compare to the very real warmth of her cheeks, or the security of her tight embrace...or her soft lips.

If Kristoff was going then she definitely wasn't going to abandon Anna again. 

Elsa found herself on Anna's arm as they walked into town once again, their heads close together. She felt strange, that with Anna she was also in a protective bubble and all the outside was muffled from her mind. Had she not known otherwise, she would have wondered if she were sleepily drunk. 

Various stories of love painted it as feeling drugged - so, was she truly feeling romantic,true love? The signs were pointing to yes...and yet, in the same way she had asked Anna years earlier, she found herself thinking, 'What do you know about true love?"

Some heads turned toward them as they walked and Elsa could swear they were seeing a glow about them. Perhaps some individuals could sense it the way Menander could. Or maybe they were happy to see the sisters as excitement and celebrations were about the town. The party was for the castle and council, staff and such - but citizens knew they were having a gathering with a kingdom they were peaceful with and that was always to be enjoyed. 

The joy in the air only added to how Elsa felt. 

She belonged there, in her home that was so warm and beautiful. The Northuldra were welcoming and treated her kindly. But Arendelle had something the forest was unable to imitate. 

Either one of them, Elsa had the freedom to choose. She could be free anywhere she wanted and it felt like that thought just then clicked into place even as she had considered it before.

They stopped outside a clothing shop, and Elsa was briefly able to pull herself away from Anna. That was because, for whatever reason, she felt compelled to get Anna a gift. Anna could have anything she wanted really. Everyone adored her. Still, Elsa felt like she had to do something, get that energy out. Plus in finding something perfect for Anna she thought maybe she could find a sign of what she should do, what her decision should be. She knew she controlled her own destiny, but that didn't mean she couldn't have a little help getting there.

Separating herself from Anna was difficult but once she was inside the shop she was distracted looking for something perfect, something that would really speak to her. Maybe something that spoke to them both was even better. 

Initially nothing looked terribly promising, which wasn't a problem with the brightly lit liittle shop. The clothing was well made by a young woman named Svana. Elsa had met her many times as she had been to the castle to make various items for them. Her work was wonderful but Elsa had to be picky when it came to Anna.

She also made some accessories, and so Elsa drifted off to look at those. The few others shopping looked at her and she tried to meet their gazes with a smile, but she was preoccupied. A necklace with a sunflower? No...too basic. A special ribbon for her hair? That wasn't what she was looking for either. Bracelets, they were nice, but somehow none of them landed for her either.

Then something caught her eye.

Displayed on a little stand was a wooden pendant attached to two black cords braided together and into a necklace. Burnt into the wood was a symbol - two lines crossed with one line featuring two more perpendicular lines sprouting from it and turning the opposite direction of each other. It made what was almost a fully formed square at the center but with half of two sides missing. 

Elsa knew what that was and she carefully removed the necklace to buy immediately.

She hurried to Svana with it, not even looking at others inside. It wasn't Anna-like but she didn't care. Svana was a petite white woman with long light brown hair that almost reached her hips. She kept it in a loose ponytail that Elsa imagined would drive her crazy. Svana had a pair of the kindest eyes Elsa had ever seen with a small button nose above a lopsided smile. That smile was offered to Elsa right away.

"Ah, Queen Anna!" Svana greeted her happily. "What a delight seeing you in here! It has been a little while since you stopped in."

"Oh...sorry," Elsa said as she took on a guilty smile. She wasn't sure how often Anna stopped in town to shop. They rarely went in when Elsa visited, preferring to do their own thing together. 

Svana shook her head as she took the necklace. "No, no, you are often busy! We know you save free time for your lover or Elsa," she said. "Ah, you've made a wonderful choice here."

"Aha.." Elsa didn't know what to say. Anna's 'lover' who was no longer, how would people take that? "Yes, I certainly have." She had made more than one choice with her purchase, she slowly realized.

"The bind rune for eternal love." Svana sighed. "Such a wonderful feeling. Is this for Kristoff? I almost feel as though he should be purchasing it for you!" 

Awkward. "Ah, no, it is-it...it's for me." She nearly said it was for her sister. Normally she probably would have, but what was happening with Kristoff made her hold back for the time being. Elsa was strangely afraid if she said the wrong thing she would end up somehow divulging more than she should, and that information was Anna's to give. 

Svana blinked. "Oh." Clearly she hadn't expected that. "How unusual for one to buy a token of love for themselves..."

"Yes well..." She laughed nervously and awkwardly which was at least accurate for Anna. "I like it for thinking about my...love. It reminds me of my love." That much was true even if she was improvising like crazy. 

At that, Svana blinked again but her smile grew. "Ah, I see! Oh how interesting that is, I must admit I like it. Sometimes I forget we need our own chosen tokens to reflect our feelings."

"Yes." Elsa reached for money to pay but Svana waved it away.

"No charge for this, my Queen!"

"Oh! No, but I must, you know I don't like to-"

"Please consider it a gift! Today is such a beautiful spring day and there are good feelings all around. I can think of no other conditions under which to gift you with this. It will carry the happiness through to your heart, and make this pendant all the more joyous."

Elsa had been winding up to protest once again, but she stopped, mouth open, regarding what Svana had said. She didn't like to just take things from people and had been given many gifts as a Queen even as she had asked for it not to happen. It felt like too much. Elsa didn't want anyone giving her anything at their own expense; it was even almost embarrassing. 

However...what Svana said struck her. It was a special day, and a special gesture. Anna deserved something with so much thought and festivity behind it as well as being from her heart. With that in mind, she decided to accept. "Alright Svana, you've convinced me," she said with a light laugh. She held out her hand as Svana gently slipped the necklace into a little wooden box. "Thank you very very much...I won't forget that you've done this for me," she told her and she meant it. They would have to do something special for the woman. 

"Oh Queen Anna, it's an honor," Svana replied as a light brush settled on her cheeks. She placed the box gently in Elsa's hand. "Please enjoy the rest of the day, and I hope you will find a perfect place for this pendant so that you may gaze upon it often."

Elsa knew just the place. She thanked Svana and exited with the little box, seeing Anna was not immediately there. She wasn't far however - just across at a little stand Anna was entertaining a couple of little girls. Her hand spun in the air as she made a little snow duckling dance and do silly things as the kids laughed and tried to imitate it. They fell over each other in their attempts, but that only made them laugh harder.

Anna looked up as Elsa approached. There was an uncharacteristic big grin on her face but Elsa wouldn't be mentioning it. Her heart felt too full and too good to speak a word of criticism to Anna. She just watched her and the little snow duckling. Anna did so well with her powers, and entertaining those kids fit her so well. 

"Well, looks like its time for me to keep going," Anna told them, and they gave super sad faces. "Nooo, don't do that..."

"Send them home with a snow duckling," Elsa suggested. Best idea ever? Probably not, but Elsa had indeed created over a hundred tiny snowmen she didn't have control of, so a snow duckling didn't seem like a big deal. Unless Anna created fifty more of them it should be fine.

"Ah." Anna laughed. "Okay," she said, and gave the duckling's butt a little scooch with her hand. It peeped as a permafrost spread over it to keep it whole, and scuttled toward the kids who cheered. 

And so, they were once again able to move on. "So uh, what did you get?" Anna asked after straightening up and taking Elsa's arm with her own again. Her eyes darted to the box several times. Elsa could feel the excitement radiating through her. 

"Let's get to our clearing," she suggested, and Anna tugged her along immediately. 

They were able to get there without too much interference. On the way a few more people stopped them, saying how happy they were for the festivities and inviting the Queen and her sister to their various gatherings should they want to leave the castle party. It wasn't totally outlandish - one time they had snuck out of a deathly boring 'ball' and had a better time joining Baggi and some of his friends for dinner. No one had even noticed they had left which was a sign of how terrible the royal gathering had been.

That one time was all it took though for the regular requests to come in. 

So they were expected and Elsa thanked each and every individual. Maybe someday they would take up the offer again but too much was on their minds that day and surely that evening. They needed to discuss how to treat questions about Kristoff before the party too.

Elsa had to shrug it off for the time being. Kristoff's reaction, whatever he did, wasn't her choice in the end. All she could do was show him honesty and care, and hope for the best. With every step through the forest holding Anna on her arm, his needs were less and less of a concern. 

Once they stepped into the clearing the tall sunflower could be seen glittering once again. It was a welcome sight. "So, you'll show me now?" Anna asked with a giggle, stepping away from Elsa but holding her hand. 

The breeze came and Elsa shivered. "Make us a little shelter," she suggested. "A little igloo?"

"Not a mini ice castle?" Anna teased.

"No." Elsa shook her head as she laughed. "No, I may still be cold in an ice castle. An igloo too, maybe but..." She remembered traveling with Anna over a year ago, and how their tent was destroyed. The result was cuddling each other in an igloo for the night and that warm memory pushed her.

"Igloos are cute." Anna turned away from her and spread her arms, palms out. The snow flowed from them in quick bursts, forming brick by brick. It took but a few moments for the bricks to build and form into a snug igloo, the entry watched over by the sunflower.

Then Anna turned back, took Elsa's hand, and dragged her inside excitedly. Elsa nearly tripped over her own feet in the rush. 

Inside the igloo was actually very cozy. With no breeze, it was warmer after all. There wasn't much for light though. Anna seemed to notice immediately and she flicked one hand. Across from them and near the ceiling, a thin sheet of ice formed to give them a window and sparkling light. 

Perfect.

"Well then..." Elsa turned the box over in her hand, suddenly feeling a little shy. Was it too much? Had she figured out anything about her feelings? Maybe she had...

"Go on. I'll love it," Anna said gently and touched her arm.

Elsa knew that she was right, but still took a deep breath. Then she held up the box and gently opened it to reveal what was inside. "I-I want you to know-ah, always know how I feel for you. I want you to have a symbol of how we will always be. Always." She was getting tongue tied. "And I...how I do feel, that is to say, I.....Anna?"

The box was open and Anna's gaze was drawn to it. She stared, and stared, and said nothing for a few seconds. Elsa got nervous...

And then Anna squealed. It was the first time Elsa had ever actually heard herself squeal and it was really weird...but in Anna language, it was a good thing! Her nerves began to disperse as solid thoughts, and a solid decision, came to be in her mind.

"This is-this is the bind rune for-"

"-for eternal love," Elsa finished for her, smiling gently. "This bond, this love between us, it's forever, Anna," she said in a soft voice. "It took a long time for me to actually realize that, and I'm sorry for that. I'm still trying to understand it fully but...All those years you spent on the other side of my closed door, your heart was so open and ready to understand, while mine wasn't. I've hurt you because I coudn't grasp all that was between us. Anna, I could spend this lifetime regretting it or I could spend it with you, being the soulmate you deserve."

"Elsa..." Anna barely whispered her name, such a difference from her squealing. "Oh Elsa! I...you...I would never want you to regret and I...probably didn't really understand just..."

"Do you like it?" Elsa interupted.

"I love it!" Anna rocked on her feet for a moment before reaching for the necklace. "I love it...I love you, Elsa. And spending-wait. Do you mean you're going to stay...?"

There it was. Elsa nodded, and a split second later she was tackled into the side of the igloo by a tight hug around her torso, arms still out as she tried not to drop the box. It was thrilling and she let out a loud laugh of surprise as Anna embraced her repeating her name over and over and practically vibrating. 

"Anna, cold! Side of igloo, cold!" Elsa managed between laughs. Even through her jubilation she could feel that snowy chill and it was harsh. 

"Oops!" Anna made quick work of spinning them around and dragging Elsa closer against her while they hugged against the wall. She nuzzled into the crook of Elsa's shoulder and Elsa rested her head against her sister's.

All was well, until she heard a sniffle. Instantly Elsa took a step back and raised Anna's chin with her finger. "Anna?"

Elsa was met with her face full of tears, but a wide happy smile. "T-tears of happiness Elsa, tears of happiness...here.." She took the little box from Elsa to tuck into a pocket on her dress - Elsa missed being able to create pockets on her clothing - before touching Elsa's arm to turn her. 

"What are you...?" Elsa asked as she felt Anna pulling her down. 

"Just go with it," Anna told her and down she sat, settling against the igloo and holding Elsa's back to her chest as she sat her between her legs. Anna buried her face against her neck with a happy sigh and squeezed her in her firm grip. She continued to sniffle and Elsa could feel the little tremors through her body.

Despite being fully aware it was happy crying, Elsa still had to fight down anxiety. Hearing and seeing Anna cry always put her on high alert. She was always ready to protect her. With Anna holding her she was able to relax within a couple of minutes.

Once she did, she could really feel the warmth from Anna, and the slight cold on her butt from being on the ground. At least the cape bunching beneath her helped out there. "You're really okay?" she asked quietly.

"Very," came Anna's answer, a little broken from her crying. "You're going to stay. I won't lose you again...will-will I?"

"No, no." Elsa knew she shouldn't speak for the future. She just couldn't see anything that would pull her apart from Anna again. If she had to do something alone, she didn't want to do it, or she would return quickly. She was unwilling to be without her. "I still want to watch some memories at Ahtohallan, I still want to visit the forest but I'll take you with me. I'll show you everything, instead of leaving you alone in the dark." The words flowed out of her mouth without her even thinking about it. 

"Show me everything," Anna echoed and hugged her tighter. "Take me with you." 

For a while they sat in silence. Anna's sniffling tapered off as she gained some control of herself and Elsa allowed herself to simply take in the moment, her hands resting on Anna's. The icy window drew her attention and she looked up at it in thought. It had always been hard to know when she made the right decision but throughout the recent years she had moments of clarity.

From Anna's sacrifice to save her, telling her she belonged in Arendelle and was not a monster, to chasing the voice of the north wind to Ahtohallan to accept her importance in the world and why she existed, there were those moments where she felt secure. Those moments when she felt the surge of hope and confidence in what she was going to do were so big there could be no question. Sunlight danced on the ice and broke up as it passed through to light on her face. Assurance was what she felt. It was one of those golden moments. 

"Anna," she finally said and breaking the silence felt criminal. "Anna, you should put on the necklace," she urged.

For a few seconds there was no response. Had she fallen asleep!? And then... "Oh." Anna shifted against her. "But I don't want to move. I'm so happy."

"Me too." She couldn't argue with that, so she decided not to.

Luckily Anna said more. "We do have to go back soon, for supper before the party..it will be fun I guess. I hope you can mostly dance with me."

That's right. She, as queen, would likely end up dancing with Menander and a couple of others just to be friendly and show kindness with the other kingdom, even if everyone was under the impression she was engaged to Kristoff. Ah, Kristoff...she would have to dance with him for appearances and that was going to be awkward. Elsa wasn't feeling too good about that so she didn't bring it up. "I hope so too," she responded.

She felt Anna shifting behind her as she let go of Elsa. She didn't get up though and Elsa didn't move. Unless Anna prompted her to, she was happy to stay down. It mattered little that her rear was getting quite numb. Anna shuffled a little more and then her hands went around Elsa's shoulders with the necklace.

"Anna, I should be putting this on you!" she said as she angled her head to look at her briefly.

"It is going on 'me', silly! When we're back to normal I'll be wearing it. And I like putting it on you while your soul is in there. This bind rune is about both of us."

"I got it for you." 

"I know that." Anna fastened the necklace and then touched the pendant where it rested just below her neck. "And I'm putting it on you and I at the same time. Both of us. ...It works okay!?" she finally said with a huff.

"Okay okay!" Elsa laughed. She followed Anna's train of thought and it was very sweet. "Ah, I adore you Anna," she said with a shake of her head and fond smile.

"Lucky me!" Anna replied. "Hey. Um..." Her voice had suddenly changed and Elsa could practically hear the blush. "Will you turn your head again and...I want to kiss you."

Elsa obliged, no urge to comment. Oh, how she loved kissing Anna! Elsa had never thought of herself kissing anyone at all, with her disinterest in any romance. It hadn't bothered her to think she'd never experience it. With Anna the idea of never kissing her again made her heart drop. It was their way to feel and show their love and it was addictive. 

Anna's lips met hers right away and Elsa reached up to cradle her head in her arm as her eyes closed. She had much to do, but perhaps they would just stay in the igloo forever instead.

Unfortunately, they couldn't do that. Once more they had to force themselves to release one another, to stand up and exit the igloo. Outside they were met with the snowy outlines of snowmen dancing with each other just above the ground. They twirled together with little stick hands out, then drew close and embraced as they slid in little loops. They continued their fun as the girls walked away.

Elsa couldn't believe the feeling that had so quickly taken her over! She knew it was love, everything that compelled her had been born from love, but she wondered if that was also what falling in love felt like. She'd loved Anna for a long time but as they were sisters much of that was natural. Love grew more as she opened her heart to Anna, then even more as they bled into soulmates. 

Where did romance fit in there? Was it romance? 

Was it even something she should seek to define?

Perhaps not, she thought as she clutched Anna's hand on the way back to the castle. Her mind seemed to always search, always want to form things into answers she could grasp and make sense of. It'd been that way for so long. Being isolated to her room made her want to learn why she was the way she was and sometimes that came back around to hit her hard. She just had to wave it away and focus on Anna. 

Soon enough she couldn't even dwell on that. The castle was already bursting with merriment when they entered. Elsa knew they were incrediby late for opening the doors to the civilians and entertaining issues but luckily no one seemed to care.

The reason why was easy to see - nearly everyone in the courtyard on the way in right on to the Great Hall, was holding a glass or two of wine. People who had come in seeking the queen, who weren't any kind of royal or kitchen staff? They had wine too.

"Oh dear he started early," Elsa said with a nervous chuckle. Menander usually waited until after supper. Supper! What was he thinking, no one had even eaten!

Anna had a look of horror on her face. "No no no what is he doing! This isn't a party open to everyone who happens to wander in! There's-oh my god what if someone spills drink all over one of the ambassadors and everyone thinks a drunken free for all happened here in Arendelle?"

Elsa nodded, biting her lower lip in worry. The place was festive, nicely decorated with green, gold and purple streamers across the ceiling and hanging decorations featuring the crocus. Flowers that had been grown in the palace were perched by the windows that were letting light flood in. The chatter was loud but there was a lot of laughter too...

If the afternoon stayed like that as it bled into the evening, then there was hope it would not get too out of control. Menander was good at commanding a party. If he could just steer it in a direction that wasn't utterly chaotic then it would be alright. Elsa wasn't ready to put all her trust in him for that but maybe she had to. 

That was when Anna tugged on her sleeve and motioned toward a very long table holding several bowls of some kind of drink. Was it wine? Was it liquors? Elsa had absolutely no idea yet and she wasn't going to drink it all to find out. "Oh Anna," she hissed.

"I know," Anna replied. They exchanged glances and both were just as nervous.

Regardless, they wandered into the crowd. They were in for an interesting evening indeed.


	7. Part 7

As it turned out, Menander had made sure there was food. Further searching in the great hall revealed a long table of delicious treats, from sheep's head, lutefisk, and Polse med Lompe to piles of waffles, krumkakes, and lots of cheese. Elsa could see Anna salivating over all of it and had to remind her to watch herself. Elsa did not shove krumkake in her face and had to tell Anna to do the same. She focused on the cheese instead, though she couldn't help looking at the lutefisk.

Elsa tore her eyes away from the dish with regret. If anyone thought Anna was voluntarily eating it they would definitely think she lost her mind. It wasn't like people couldn't change their tastes, but lutefisk was a dealbreaker.

As Anna carefully worked on a normal-sized pile of waffles, Elsa found herself being tapped on the shoulder and called out to as people decided to approach her. She wasn't in the right frame of mind for it but she still spoke to anyone who needed her. There was a positive side to being constantly bothered at the party - no one was complaining. Even the couple of folks in town who liked to moan and groan about everything they could were having a good time.

Most everyone was tipsy and it was barely early evening. Normally Elsa wouldn't think she'd prefer her entire kingdom drunk but it was working out well. She'd like them all distracted while she and Anna dealt with their own situation. 

"Queen Anna, you're the best you're...you're the best," said an elderly man as he half stumbled into her. Elsa resisted the urge to flinch and jump away. Anna wasn't as jumpy. 

"Thank you," she managed. She turned to look for her sister but the table was blocked from her view.

"You're an even better queen than Elsa, even better," he continued.

"No you're totally wrong," said a sudden loud female voice to her right and if Elsa had her ice, she'd have immediately spook-popped a skating rink into the party. The voice came from a tall woman with black hair and what had to be the skimpiest green dress she'd ever seen worn that time of year. How was she not freezing?

"I am?" the man asked, and Elsa wanted to get out of the awkward situation but she also wanted to hear it all.

"Yea, Elsa was so...dignified and calm...so careful and wise...and Anna is-"

"Right here, she's right here!" Elsa said as she changed her mind on hearing it right away. She wasn't in the mood for anyone to diss her sister and - and was the woman somehow not aware that insulting the queen right in front of her was a bad idea?

"Anna is wonderful and fun!" the man said back. "Pay attention," he told the woman and stumbled off. 

"I was going to say you balance each other out," the woman said as she proceeded to try and drink from an empty glass, glaring at it before walking away. 

What on earth was that? Elsa just blinked and watched her walk off. It was a relief no fight broke out and they just snapped at each other. She also liked hearing someone defend her sister...and it was true they balanced each other out. It felt like even more reason for her to stay. 

"AH Queen Anna!" A jovial voice came over the sound of the chatter and Menander broke through the crowd. He was dressed in a nice button-up shirt that was also very...roomy. He had to be swimming in it. It almost didn't match his fancy pants. 

Maybe he spilled something on his first shirt and had to change into that. "Hello Menander! I see you started early..."

"Yes, we tried to find you first. After I walked the castle grounds, I returned to the hall only to see my men already pouring drinks and found the cooks already prepping! And so I said let's just start!" He held out his hand for hers.

Elsa didn't believe him really. He probably decided it was better to ask forgiveness than ask permission and just went ahead. Well, she wasn't mad. She held her hand out to him. "I see. Everyone seems to be having a good time, but I didn't realize everyone in town was invited."

Menander took her hand and lifted it to his lips. "Only for now! Your castle guards will escort out those who should not be here when the sun begins to dip." He kissed her hand and Elsa had to fight down some revulsion.

She didn't want anyone to do that. It felt too strange and personal even if it was an act of respect to her. "I feel they all may be too drunk by then," she told him. "The guards and the people."

"Perhaps, though most of them said they would not touch the drink until then. They still have plenty of time!" Menander claimed as he gently released her hand. His lips twitched into a kind smile. "I apologize...I realized only after that the act of kissing your hand is only for your true love."

He had noticed? Elsa's surprise was obvious as her eyes went wide. "Oh! Menander, I don't mean to offend! Really you don't have to apologize-"

Menander shook his head and then let out a little grunt as a member of staff nearly tripped into him. "Woah my friend, take it easy on the wine!" Menander laughed and steered the man in another direction before returning his attention to Elsa. "Ah I do. Queen, I must admit, one reason I started this party so early was due to the shift I felt in the air this afternoon. Something big changed, and it's good. It's beautiful! It has to do with you, of that I'm sure," he told her, grinning.

Hearing that again surprised her. How many times would that happen? "You think so? Well, I can only say I hope that you're right." She spoke carefully, unsure of whether he was trying to get some information out of her or just being his cheerful self.

"I know I'm right," he chuckled. "May I let the band begin playing? I believe dancing is key now!"

"Yes!" She looked forward to music and hopefully dancing around with Anna, maybe while everyone was drunk and didn't care what they saw...

"Excellent!" Menander gave a little bow. "I will let you get back to your love. She must be looking for you," he said with a little wink, before turning into the crowd.

Did he say 'she'? Elsa was too dumbstruck to stop him and ask him why he said that. Did he really know? He had to! Every time she had been around him he seemed to say something that indicated he knew exactly what was going on. At the same time, should she ask? 

She clutched the rune to her chest. Elsa really hated how important parts of her life also had to be as confusing as possible first. 

She was finally able to make her way to Anna, who was holding an empty glass and still carefully working on her waffles while chatting with Olaf. Elsaa couldn't help a smile. "You know, you can eat the waffles faster. I told you not to eat them too fast, but not even I eat that slow," she said when she was closer. She bumped Anna's shoulder with her own.

"Oh, Olaf brought me a drink and I worked on that!" Anna replied with a smile.

Olaf was smiling too. "Elsa! Something happened earlier, I don't know what, but I've never felt so great! I helped the party start early!"

Of course Olaf was involved. Elsa should have guessed he helped Menander get carried away. But nevermind that, she was intrigued by his other words. He'd mentioned feeling better that morning as well. "What do you mean something happened?"

"The magic in me seemed to grow and it felt like a heartbeat." He touched one of his stick hands to his chest and chuckled. "I know I don't have a heart or any of those other squishy organs you humans have. That's good, actually."

Elsa tilted her head a little. "A heartbeat?"

"It felt like I came to life, but again. It was comforting." He dropped his arm. "Do you know why? Did something happen?" 

Anna spoke before Elsa could, taking her sister's arm as she did so. "Sort of. We'll tell you later Olaf! There's a lot going on in here right now."

"Yes," Elsa agreed and hoped he wasn't hurt. "Now's not the time, but I promise Olaf, it is good." Somehow it felt better for her decision to remain a secret between her and Anna for the time being. She didn't know why she didn't want to say more about it.

Anna cuddled against her a little. "Besides, I had this whole glass and it-it was strong." 

"Oh, yea, I hope it was good. I asked Menander which bowl I should serve you and he had me use the bowl in the kitchen away from the general party," Olaf explained, and then sighed. "I really have to wait?"

"You had a whole glass in that short period of time? Anna...yes, Olaf." Elsa's attention was once again focused all on Anna. Her getting drunk didn't sound like the safest idea...

"Fiiiine." Olaf glared, but only for a second. "Oh I can't be mad. I feel too good! I still feel the heartbeat!" he exclaimed, and started to bounce off. "Have fun! I'm going to go dance!" 

"Bye..." Elsa watched his sudden departure in thought. With the surge in happiness from Anna, Olaf's lifeforce was even stronger. Is that what it would mean, for her to stay there with Anna? Strength and joy growing in her magic? 

The thought had Elsa more hopeful than she could remember being. She wanted to cover Anna's face with kisses, but restrained herself. "More food?" she asked instead.

"I'm full right now but...but you have some lutefisk. And are we not going to discuss what Olaf just said!?" Anna asked her with a bright smile on her face.

"Maybe," Elsa teased as Anna dragged her by the arm. "What's there to say? You and I together have done something to the magic you currently wield, and it's good." There was plenty to say, but she wanted to have fun with Anna. "...You want me to be seen as you eating lutefisk?"

Anna giggled. "I guess it is that simple right now. I'm just so happy, Elsa! Now-yes. I want you to eat it. Here, we'll just have to act...come on Anna, just try it! You might like it now!" Anna said, raising her voice. 

"Um...N-no I couldn't." The only acting Elsa was good at was hiding things, she thought bitterly. "It looks gross." Her voice wasn't very convincing, all she wanted to do was eat every trace of lutefisk she could find.

Anna gave her a look, but kept on with it. "No no, I insist! Would I really say to try it if I thought it would make you unhappy? I care about you, you know. I only say these things with your best interests at heart."

Oh, was that the game they were playing? Elsa giggled and then tried to maintain her dignity out of habit as a woman walked too close to them for a second. "I know you do! But I like to argue when I really don't want to do some simple things."

"Hey! ...Aaaah yes you do. But sometimes I get really bossy for no good reason. Sisterly love I guess. I'm so shy and so bossy." Anna smirked.

"Look at you bossing me right now," Elsa said with a roll of her eyes. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt for me to listen...for once."

"No. No it wouldn't. It also wouldn't hurt for me to listen sometimes!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Elsa asked and felt she should be offended, but she was laughing instead.

"It means..." Anna stepped forward and jabbed her finger into Elsa's chest. "I should listen more when others worry about and care for me and want to help me. I don't actually carry the world on my shoulders even if I think I have to do everything for everyone."

"Yea...yea well..." Elsa faltered. "I think, I should also think about myself sometimes instead of my sister because I deserve to be happy too." It came out softer than she meant, and she wasn't sure how to act for a second. 

Anna leaned closer. "We both deserve to be happy, and now that I'm staying, we both will be..."

Elsa leaned close too, wishing to capture her lips, eyes wanting to close. Before she could think about it anymore, someone tapped her on her shoulder.

"Queen Anna, my well is all funky, the water tastes like bad apples," a man slurred out and as Anna covered her mouth to laugh more, Elsa sighed and turned around to deal with it. 

Elsa must have only talked to five people, but one took a very long time to tell his pointless tale with side stories every other sentence, and two people laughed so hard that one had to leave to throw up halfway through telling Elsa what their issue was. She was able to learn it had something to do with a duck made of snow - oops - but not much more than that.   
The music had started and it was cheerful, happy. Anyone that may have irritated Elsa had started to dance or eat. That meant she could make it back to Anna! When she did, Anna had a glass that was half-full. 

"Another?" she asked.

"Olaf," Anna said simply with a wave of her hand. "Now eat the lutefisk!" she said, gesturing at the dish. 

"Did you even leave this spot?" Elsa asked the question in a mumble. She did turn to take one of their thousands of dinner plates and serve herself some lutefisk. She threw on plenty of butter too. "I'm doing this to hide the taste," she announced loudly. Hopefully it covered up the sound of her stomach growling. 

Anna giggled and then hurried to recover, to act poised. She started to burst regardless and again put her hand over her mouth. As she did so, Elsa spied a glittery snowman emerging from under the table behind her and sort of blowing away into the crowd. A few people made noises of surprise. 

"Anna..." she hissed and started in on her food. Oh it was so good! She had to control herself and made a face as if it was gross.

It tasted like heaven and she wanted to unceremoniously gobble all of it. 

"What?" Anna hissed back. "I'm doing fine! I'm acting just like you and not mingling and just eating."

"I don't do that!"

"You don't approach people either, you just sort of hang out..."

That much was true. Elsa just shook her head. "When I finish this..." She was going to suggest they dance, but again someone tapped her shoulder. She whipped around, ready to bite someone's head off. Instead of one of the staff or a citizen, it was Kristoff. "Oh..!"

He was dressed nicely. Kristoff had on pressed pants, a black shirt and a dark purple vest with the Arendellian crest on the right side. His hair was just as fluffy as usual and he smelled-he smelled good! That was a little strange... His eyes held concern and sadness, but he looked like he was trying to suck it up. He held out his hand. "May I have this dance, Queen Anna?" he asked.

Elsa studied him. "Kristoff?" She looked over at Anna, who was staring in bewilderment. She didn't expect that either clearly. Then she looked back to Kristoff. "...Sure." 

Kristoff nodded and pulled her to the dance floor.

It wasn't a total surprise. Elsa and Anna had both known that Kristoff would be expected to dance with the Queen everyone thought he was engaged to. Somehow though she hadn't thought he would approach so directly. In addition, she and Anna never got to talking about how to deal with it.  
He tentatively put an arm around her and pulled her close as a little circle cleared for them to dance, all eyes on them. He pulled her closer still, so their faces were but inches apart. It didn't occur to her to feel awkward. It was Kristoff, her friend and someone with which no sparks flew. They were putting on a show and as she let him lead, she managed to follow into the steps.

The song was gentle, slow, and supposed to be romantic probably. She didn't care. "Elsa, I'm going to leave tomorrow," he said quietly to her. That was one reason he pulled her closer, to talk.

"So soon?" she asked, hushing her surprise. He wasn't wasting any time, then.

"Yes. I need to get myself away as soon as I can or I will feel worse," he admitted, trying to keep his face from drooping.

"I...I'm sorry."

Kristoff offered a smile as best he could and she couldn't be sure whether it was a real one for her or just for appearannces. "Don't be. It's not really your fault. Well...okay, I guess it is." She held back a cringe. "It's...there's stuff between you two that overwhelms anything else. I don't totally get it but I can't be to Anna what you are to her. That's, you can't help it. I think. I think I've known for a long time but hoped I was wrong."

He was the same as always and fondness flowed through her. "I suppose we can't help the way we feel."

"Take care of her," he said suddenly as they turned. "Please, Elsa. Don't hurt her again. Please."

"I...won't." He was asking her not to hurt her again. Why? Well, she knew why, but something about him seemed off.

He studied her and held his words for a moment. "Elsa, since the forest, since you stopped being here all the time, something broke in her."

Elsa narrowed her eyes. She didn't like hearing that from him. "Explain, Kristoff."

"She was okay for a little while. She tried. Whenever you would come home she was so happy and I saw hope. But then you would leave again and she would just shatter. Elsa, I caught her crying. Not just a few tears, but a full breakdown."

"Crying-a breakdown!?" Elsa asked, and nearly too loud. She immediately felt her stomach drop. Anna had been crying...

"Yes...it's been often, lately. Sometimes she even sleeps in her old room because she can't handle being in that bigger bed without you. She keeps it together in the day and tried her hardest around me, but..." Kristoff gaze flickered down to their feet as they moved about. 

The crowd and music were nearly forgotten and Elsa barely caught herself stopping. She had woken up in that room, while Anna woke up on Ahtohallan. So, Anna had fallen asleep there, and possibly with tears on her cheeks...the bigger picture was that she was in so much pain she wept like that. Elsa didn't expect it. Her sister was so strong, so to think she cried over her!

"Elsa?" Kristoff's voice was soft.

"But...I know how much she missed me. I know. But Anna having breakdowns over me? She's tougher than that..." Kristoff wasn't lying. Elsa just didn't like what she was hearing. Anna was emotional, sure, but even when she saw her with tears in her eyes when they said bye, surely Anna wiped them away an carried on.

Kristoff's eyes searched her face as he carefully chose his next words. "Anna is the strongest and most amazing person I've ever met. Having great strength doesn't mean she doesn't have great sadness. She feels everything deeply and that includes her need for you. And if...ha, if...since you're her other half, its more intense." There were tears in his eyes. "Please don't hurt her. If you need to go, take her with you or-or something. She's needed you terribly and I've asked her several times to talk to you."

"I've decided to stay," Elsa told him. That was a good thing that she had decided before knowing about Anna's state. It didn't stop her from feeling torn apart and even disgusted with herself. What the hell had she done to Anna with her own choices to follow some calling she hadn't initially understood? How bad had she hurt her by choosing to stay away? Even if she visited often, she wasn't there like before. Her vision blurred as she felt wetness in her own eyes. "I've-I've decided to stay," she repeated and tried to look at him. 

"Then maybe she'll feel whole again. That's all I really want," Kristoff said, his voice cracking.

Elsa pulled him into a hug to finish the dance with as the crowd responded with several 'aaaw' sounds. She swallowed thickly and forced herself to hold back tears, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Kristoff. I'm...thank you. Thank you for caring for her, for loving her."

His shoulder shook. He was doing his best to hold back sobs and Elsa said no more as she danced with him. She'd hurt Anna, and Kristoff had suffered enough as well. She was intent on staying, but a big part of her said she could potentially hurt Anna worse, somehow, and that scared her. It REALLY scared her.

The music slowed to a stop and slowly she drew back. Anxiety raced through her as she prepared herself for Kristoff's face. It was sad and stressed but he had managed not to break entirely. She quickly leaned in again, cradling his cheek in her right hand as she did so. 

She wanted the best for her friend, her family.

After a moment she dropped her hand and planted a small, careful kiss on his cheek. The crowd made more noises; she ignored them. Kristoff managed to smile at her before stepping back. He still smiled as he turned slowly and began to walk away. She watched him gradually disappear into the throng of people.

The crowd began to mingle again gradually and Elsa began to move after a brief hesistation. She found Anna at the end of the dessert table with Olaf. As soon as she got to her, Anna started to greet her but was cut off as Elsa pulled her into very tight hug. She heard a noise of surprise from Anna and relished the small sound. She wanted to be why Anna laughed happily, not why she cried.

"Elsa? What did Kristoff say?" she asked in a small worried voice.

"Oh. That...he just wants you happy, and he's leaving tomorrow." Elsa was not about to bring up the other parts. 

"He's going?" 

They stepped away from each other to look at Olaf. With yet another knot in her stomach, Elsa realized that in everything, he never really got informed about Kristoff. Olaf and Kristoff were so close. He was going to be hurt. Olaf brushed a lot off and was normally pleased as long as everyone was happy and honest. She caught an anxious look from Anna.

Elsa decided to say something. She knelt down inches from him. "Kristoff is going to the northern forest to stay with the Northulra. He's leaving tomorrow." She took his stick hand.

His eyes widened and he stared at her in disbelief. "He's leaving?"

"Yes...he is. I am staying and he is leaving." She hated putting it like that even if that was exactly what she was saying. 

"He's...wait!" He placed his other hand on Elsa's. "YOU'RE staying?" The look of disbelief stayed on his face.

Slowly, she nodded. "I am. I am staying here with Anna. I belong with her," she said, resisting the urge to look up at her. 

"...You're staying!" He said again and he smiled. "Elsa that's great! That's...there it is! That's the happiness I felt earlier!" he touched his own face. "Elsa! An-and Anna from you too!"

"Yes." Elsa nodded and looked down to mask a smile. She should have known he'd be excited! "Now Olaf, go spend some time with him before he leaves. Please!"

"Oh! Oh yea! And Sven!" Olaf bounced up and started to run away as she released his hand, but he stopped just behind her. "I'm still sad," he said in a casual tone. "But I'll be alright." And with that, he was off.

Elsa watched him and suddenly noticed snowflakes drifting before her eyes. She looked up and around and noticed the small shower of gently floating flakes around her and Anna, plus that end of the table. "Anna?"

"I heard you say it again! I heard you and it makes me so happy..." She waved her glass in her had. It was still half full...with a different colored liquid.

"Anna..." Elsa pointed at the glass.

"I finished the other one and Olaf brought me this, I think he was just going to keep doing that..." she said and offered a guilty smile. "I'm glad because watching mysef dance with Kristoff was...knowing he's leaving was..."

Elsa stood quickly and took her hand. "Hey. Hey maybe slow down on those? Anna it's not even dark! And look at me, okay?"

"Hmmm?" Anna focused on her. "Yea?"

"Go back to thinking happy things, don't be sad. Um...but controlled happiness," she said as the flakes wobbled in size. "You're making it snow."

"Oh...oh!" Anna startled and stepped forward, into Elsa a little. "Mm, maybe I should have some bread. 

"Maybe, where's that lutefisk?" Elsa asked, an arm around Anna's waist. She drew her to the table before noticing her lutefisk waiting for her. "Nevermind," she said and reached for a slice of seeded bread. She handed it to Anna. "Just put some more of something in your stomach, my silly Anna."

"Ooh, I'm yours now?" Anna smirked and shoved the bread in her face, trying to act like a smartass. 

Mostly she just looked like Elsa drunk and eating bread. Elsa picked up her lutefisk, figuring they would both just look drunk together. She could eat her fish without pretending to be grossed out. "You've been mine for a very long time now," she said and fought the blush rushing to her cheeks. That was true, but she didn't have to say it like that.

"For a long time, for a long long time," Anna replied and leaned into her. She wrapped an arm around her. "I've loved you since I was born, so, that's a long time, huh?"

"I..." Elsa held back for a moment. "If I say yes, is that calling you old? Because I'd be calling myself really old, you know," she teased. 

"I don't care," Anna said and pressed her forehead to her shoulder. "Smelly fish."

"Anna..." Oh dear. Anna hadn't even made it until night with the alcohol. "Perhaps you should have some ice water andWOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Suddenly something cold was around her waist and she wiggled in a most undignified way. "An-Elsa!" she yelped as a couple of soldiers turned their eyes on them as did a few attendees. 

"You said ice and I just kinda went," Anna pulled away her ice cold arm that was suddenly just dripping ice cubes. 

Elsa ate her lutefisk and glared. "Thanks for that."

"Elsa can we dance? We should dance." Anna shoved the rest of her bread in her face and grabbed the plate away from Elsa before shoving it against a cheese platter on the table. Then she took her arms. "Take me in your arms and daaance with me!"

"Hey-"

"Get a damn room," a man said as he walked past them, interupting Elsa.

Anna sorted and burst into laughter as Elsa's mouth dropped open, staring after the guy. How rude! She wished she could throw a big iceball at him, but she had no powers, and Anna was laughing too much. "We have to dance, then we can go to the room!" 

"Ssshh, ssh, wow!" Elsa started to step back. "Fine, let's get dancing," she told her and pulled her along.

As she did, she paid attention to the music and noticed it changing. It was a soft tinkling sound at first, slow and repeating, before a familiar melody began. It was slower than she had ever known it when she used to think of the tune often, but it was unmistakeable. "Anna, this is the song you used to sing through the door...isn't it?" she asked as it continued its slow pace.

Two little flying birds made of snowflakes popped up next to Anna's head and began to flit about in the air, twirling around each other. Anna giggled more and dragged Elsa toward the dancefloor. "Do you want to build a snowmaaan? Or dance with me around the haaall?" she sang along. 

"Anna you need to calm down!" Elsa laughed, tripping after her.

Anna continued. "But you're around - I can't calm down at aaaall! I've got my arms around you-," she sang as she pulled her into a close embrace, "I won't let go, now that I've got you here to staaay!" She pressed her forehead to Elsa's. "Do you want to build a snowman?"

Elsa's eyes fell half closed. "No let's dance as long as we can," she added. 

Anna brushed her nose gently on Elsa's. "I love you," she sang back and her eyes were actually wet.

The little birds flitted around above them and it took Elsa's a good few long moments to realize people had stopped to look at them. She tried to figure out if she cared and she sort of didn't. However, she moved her head back and started to move their feet to the continuing song. "You're an emotional drunk, you know," she said softly. 

"Everyone lookin'?" Anna asked. She didn't look bothered, even if there were small tears forming. "I'm so happy I think I iced my face."

"You're crying, my tears are cold...did you not notice earlier?" Elsa was amused.

"Not really...they didn't bother me or anything, they don't now I just noticed..." Anna nearly tripped over her own feet. "Oh I'm making you look clumsy, they're going to talk about this."

"I don't care." Elsa laughed again. "Let's just keep going, at least until the sun begins to set," she told her knowing it was not long off. Then she would get Anna some water and steal her away from the rest of the party for a lot of cuddling. She had a lot to make up for. 

Anna nodded enthusiastically and then stopped with a wince. Elsa could tell she made herself a bit dizzy. She held back from laughing at her silliness and just steered her slowly, avoiding any sudden twirls even if Anna pulled them into one or two.

A few people danced near them too. There were couples, there were kids dancing with each other, and probably friends. Everyone was tapping into the joy and having fun, something Elsa was grateful for. The dance and conversation with Kristoff could have gone downhill, could have been a mess but he was a good enough person not to take everyone down with him. He never had been. Anna was cushioned with her own happiness and too much alcohol so she hadn't broken down.

The sun was beginning to set and somehow all was well.

They separated as the royal guard began to escort people out and the band was rearranging for the production Menander had mentioned. They combed through to be sure only royal staff stayed even if half the council was absolutely hammered. Elsa could see them wobbling around each other and laughing very loudly. She was happy to have avoided them all evening but with so many guests leaving it might become difficult.

It was no matter, she escorted Anna back to the table and took a glass of water just brought out. "Flick some ice into this," she told Anna.

Anna peered at it, flicked her hand, and a snowball immediately knocked the glass to the floor where it shattered. The guards looked up as Elsa buried her face in her palm. "No...no."

"I'm sorry!" Anna squeaked.

Elsa shrugged and reached for another. It was less stuffy and warm with the evening air rolling in and less of a crowd, so she didn't ask Anna to ice it. Room temperature was...safer. "Okay, no ice, just drink it."

"Fine. You should have a drink." Anna took the glass and almost spilled it as she gestured to a server bringing another bowl of a bright red colored fluid. As it was set down Elsa could smell the alcohol.

"They made that one strong." She decided one wouldn't hurt and took the ladle that was also served to get herself a full glass. "Drink your water, Anna..."

Anna nodded and started to chug it. Elsa took a sip of her drink and it was so strong she almost spit it right back out! It did taste good, though, so she gave it a chance and worked on it slowly. It was going to hit her pretty hard, she imagined. 

Elsa also served them up a plate with krumkake and a pile of cheese. The dance floor was more open and a couple members of the band decided to play a little, but she wasn't interested in the party anymore, or the show coming up. "Want to get outta here?" she asked Anna playfully.

"Hmmm?" Anna blinked. "Where to?"

"Our room, but anywhere you want really," Elsa told her, tugging on the rune gently. It made her happy. 

Anna thought for a moment, the rim of the glass against her lips. "I know!" she said suddenly and tugged on Elsa's sleeves since her hands were full. "Come on, come with me!" she demanded as if Elsa had any other ideas.

"Okay okay!" Elsa laughed, happy to let Anna pull her where ever she wanted to.


	8. Part 8

"Comfy." The words cut through the silence in the study, disrupting the peace slightly but Elsa didn't care.

She was perched on top of the desk she had been doing paperwork at that very morning, legs dangling carefully over the edge. It was a bit cold in the room. With effort she was able to ignore it, plus she was distracted anyway.

Anna had plopped herself down in the big chair and leaned forward with her arms around Elsa's waist. She rested her head in her lap and practically purred as Elsa stroked her head. "Comfy," she repeated.

"Don't fall asleep yet," Elsa gently commanded, picking up her drink with her free hand. She was halfway through it and already feeling it. She wasn't sure why Anna chose the study to be in, but it was quiet and no one would even think to come in there.

The door was locked regardless.

A couple of lit candles carefully placed on the desk were all they had for light. It was perfect. 

"I won't sleep." Anna sighed contentedly. "I want to be here awake and with you and no one else. I may never sleep again if I have you."

"Oh Anna. You'll sleep. You have to sleep." Elsa continued to pet her head as her mind traveled to the events of the evening. She thought about what she had learned, about Anna crying. How much sleep had she lost due to her sadness? "I want you sleeping, want you rested. Not right this moment, but later," she whispered.

Anna made a little sound. "I've been rested. I sleep so well when you're here...ex-except I don't want to..."

"Anna..." Elsa spoke carefully. She didn't want to approach the subject but she knew she had to. While her head felt warm and lips loose she should take advantage. "Anna, we need to talk about how you've been doing," she said as she traced her finger around her back, thinking for a second about how strange it was to caress herself. Oddy it didn't throw her off as much as it should. Knowing it was Anna in there helped enough.

"Nooo..." Anna tightened her arms around her.

"Nooo?" Elsa repeated in curiosity. 

"I don't want to think about that, I don't want to talk about it, I just want to stay like this. Stay..."

Her response surprised Elsa, a little. She thought Anna might protest anything was wrong, might try to hide it. Anna was not like her generally when it came to her feelings. She expressed and she expressed freely. However she had been hiding her deep sadness from Elsa very actively going by Kristoff's words. "We don't have to move. I just want to talk to you."

Anna's forehead was buried in her thigh, her words almost too muffled. "No...I can't think about that, I can't I can't I won't. Stay, please."

"...I am staying." Elsa tried to ignore that she felt her waist and thighs getting a little frosty. "Anna I'm staying."

"What if you come back to this body and you feel your power and the spirits...what if they make you go back?" 

Elsa felt her shoulders trembling ever so slightly. "They won't." Anna's words held weight, she understood it. It was normal to think she might change her mind when back to her own body. Elsa knew she wouldn't though. She was in a storm for the same reason Anna wept. Elsa sipped her drink again."My magic will not pull me back to Ahtohallan. It will not tell me I should not and cannot be with you."

Still, the trembling grew and cold air began to curl around them both. "And if it does? If your magic decides it's bad, will you listen?"

"It won't, it-"

"Will you?" Anna pressed, her voice a bit louder. 

"No. Anna? My heart and mind work alongside my magic, they know my true love and desires. My magic will not-will not defy them to push us apart. Can't you feel it yourself?" she asked. With what she had seen Anna display with it, she was sure it worked in the same fashion. It felt especially so as tiny specks of ice cold kissed her skin, snow soon to form. 

Anna then raised her head and looked up at Elsa. "My magic...your magic." Her eyes were red with tears already slipping and it shocked Elsa. She'd felt her shaking, but... "With you it feels so good and it just grows, it blossoms through me. It's wonderful. I want you to have it back, but until then, my heart feels so open. I hope I feel so good when this power flows back to you."

"Oh Anna. Your heart has always been so open." Elsa skimmed her fingertips along her face. "Don't cry. Ssshh. Don't cry Anna." Seeing Anna cry in her own body was never pleasant, and even worse when she knew she was the reason. She kept stroking her face. 

Somehow that made her tears slip faster. Ice spread over the ceiling in a thin sheet. "I was so happy those three years. I had you and you were safe and free and I thought you were happy, especially whenever we would spend our days together. We were making a life together with new traditions and new memories. I thought it would last forever."

"I WAS happy Anna. You were right. And-"

Anna's slurred and rapid speech kept going. "Mother and father took us away from each other so many years ago. I've forgiven them as much as I can, I understand, but they broke our hearts. Then, later we followed their story to the northern forest, and they...mother, father, someone...tore us apart again. What if we find something new, Elsa? We still have more to learn about them with those soldiers back and settling in. What if there's another adventure and it takes you away?"

Elsa had to think over it carefully. She intended to never leave her again, but she did yearn to know whatever she could, and do whatever was right by Anna. Her heart told her she would never have to leave her to help her, while her brain...actually agreed. They were soulmates. Now that they knew that, separating was not an option...and even if they weren't, she still wouldn't leave. "I will not leave you. Where I go, you go and where you go, I go. Mother and father made a big mistake keeping us apart." Elsa said nothing of Ahtohallan, knowing Anna didn't want to hear about the place in that moment. Elsa didn't feel like talking about it, either.

She didn't feel like talking about the forest at all with the damage that had been done in it, primarily to her sister. Anna didn't want Elsa dying for the sake of being everything for everyone. Elsa only wanted to be everything to and for Anna, though. She gently slid her hand down to her sleeve. "Stand up Anna, come closer." Elsa tugged gently. 

"Why?"

"Just do it, please." 

Anna frowned, but slowly released her hold on Elsa.She pushed herself up from the chair with a slight wobble, standing before Elsa. She stepped closer to Elsa, reaching back out to her. 

Elsa took her in her arms and snuggled against her warmth. She closed her eyes tightly, and felt that telltale shift once more. It didn't even surprise her as it happened, and she knew it wouldn't last long.

She opened her eyes and she was in her body. Her eyes hurt from crying, her mind was drunk and she felt her world swaying. Strong emotions clouded her thoughts and she was finding it hard to grasp the sudden switch from a sober brain. As arms tightened around her Elsa's mind found its focus in Anna and she was instantly overwhelmed. 

'AnnaAnnaAnna' her mind repeated over and over and she found herself brushing her lips across Anna's forehead in a second, maybe less. One hand raised to gently grasp the back of Anna's head as Elsa kissed her by her eyes, turned her head and kissed the shell of her ear, followed by the side of her head. 

"Elsa," came Anna's voice softly and she reached to place her palms on either side of Elsa's face. "I can think now, Elsa, but I still feel...I'm afraid of you going away again, I..."

An immense weight of emotion seemed to slam Elsa's chest, forcing her forward and down. She couldn't control it. A swirl of snow casually trailed around them as her love found various forms. How could she love Anna so intensely and not feel drunk all the time? Her arm wrapped around Anna's waist and she pressed their lips together.

Unlike before she pressed a little further. Her tongue gently swept against her sister's soft, pretty lips. For a split second she thought she wouldn't be granted access, but Anna's lips parted to welcome her. Elsa nearly smiled against her before slipping her tongue in to dance with Anna's. Her head was swimming; if she stopped kissing her she'd be so dizzy she wouldn't be able to function. 

Anna kissed her back eagerly, fingers trailing down her back. It felt natural, it felt comfortable. Their souls again were merging and caressing one another with the most tender touches. 

She wanted to say over and over she would never leave Anna again. Anything to assure the precious girl she held. But to speak she would have to stop kissing her. The way their lips moved together encouraged her to keep going. The way their eyes stayed on each other...

It was Anna who withdrew, her cheeks flushed and deep, excited breaths making her chest rise and fall. Her eyes were bright as they stayed on Elsa. "That...Elsa..." she struggled to say and if Elsa couldn't so alertly sense otherwise, she would have panicked that Anna was filled with shock and regret. "THAT was true love's kiss," Anna continued. 

"So it was," Elsa replied as she offered a lopsided and drunken smile. There was a storm inside, working up in strength as her love only grew. She stroked Anna's cheek and her heart pounded so much it nearly hurt. "I love you Anna, I love you so much." Her eyes closed and all she could hear was Anna's voice.

"I love you Elsa. I always have."

It lasted longer than she had thought it would and soon enough, Elsa was back in Anna's body. While she was grateful for the properly working mind, she had hoped they would finally stay, that the right fingers would brush the right face. It seemed that wasn't to be and she wondered what would make it happen.

Anytime they had switched was during a highly emotional moment, and it didn't take a lot of thought to realize their switch was connected to their feelings for each other. They loved each other so much and Elsa wasn't sure what else there was to express.

That was...unless Anna continued to hide some of her sorrow. When had she learned to do that?

Oh, right. Elsa spent over a decade teaching her. 

Anna had moved in close again and rested her head against Elsa's chest while Elsa pet her hair. "Anna...how long have you hidden your sadness?"

"For as long as I can remember." Anna's voice was barely above a whisper. "You were suddenly gone and I was lonely, I was so lonely. I know you were too. But I didn't know why I was lonely, I thought I was being punished for years and years. I didn't know what I did..." She sounded so small. 

Ruining her sister's life for so many years hurt her more than she could express. "Anna..."

"I felt empty when we returned from the forest. I felt so lost. I thought it would work itself out but it never did. You weren't here." They were starting on that path again. Elsa could see it wouldn't exactly resolve itself while Anna was drunk. 

She picked up her cup to finish her drink and shifted in the meantime. "Anna, we need to get you to bed. You had a lot to drink and your mind isn't being kind with you.."

"Yes it is! You're here...well...my head keeps thinking you'll leave."   
"Exactly. Let's get up," she said and carefully took Anna's hands to remove them, moving her legs off the desk in the meantime. "I'll bring you to bed and wrap myself around you. Anna, I will surround you so completely you won't feel afraid anymore."

"Hmm." Anna let out the tiniest of laughs as she stepped back. "I wish it worked like that. I have a - a lot to fight with, a lot to climb out of you know," she babbled. 

As soon as Elsa stood she took Anna's hand. She understood what she was saying even if she hated it. "I get it." She tugged her hand. "I'm still going to try."

"And I love you for it," Anna said as Elsa wrapped an arm around her waist to take her to the door.

"Hey, Elsa? Can we...not go up to bed yet?"

"Huh?" 

"It's early in the night yet. And I don't want to go right to bed with my worries still there, even if I will be hugging you all night," she continued.

That wasn't a bad idea. Elsa opened the door slowly, as if they had to sneak around their own home and castle. "Okay. What did you have in mind?"

As the door opened further, Anna suddenly lurched forward and out of Elsa's grasp. She threw her hands forward and shot a solid surface of ice to cover the floor of the hall. Then she ran right onto it and slid down the hallway. "Wheee!"

"ANNA!" Elsa tried to hurry after her and forgot herself as she stepped onto the ice. She slipped and within seconds smacked her entire being into the wall opposite the doorway. It hurt!

"Elsa! Hey careful!" Anna slid over, except too far and she fell right into Elsa. Then she giggled. "Probably shouldn't do this drunk."

Elsa wasn't drunk, but she was a little fuzzy herself. "Playing with ice drunk does go a little...weird," she said, knowing from experience. She had once iced herself into a closet. It was not a good time. 

"C'mon I'll hold you up," Anna said as she straightened up on the ice. "I won't fall again, my feet feel like they communicate with the ice. Like I won't slip on it alone."

"Uh huh, but you will fall over anything else you encounter," Elsa replied but took her arm. Despite hitting a wall and being tripped over, it was funny. Her shoulder would be bruised the next day, but that was okay. 

Unless of course, they woke up in the right bodies, then she would kiss it and apologize.

"How drunk do you think I am? Let's go see the party," Anna suggested and they slid that way. They passed through a door that would take them there, and Anna didn't bother removing the ice. Elsa didn't care enough to remind her. 

She also didn't care to tell her she did indeed think she was pretty drunk as Anna laughed and dragged her along by the hand to entirely the wrong little room. It was meeting room and Anna realized her mistake as soon as she got there. "Whoops. Let's go in and have a meeting!"

"What? Anna, you're ridiculous. No meetings. Only fun," she said, trying to tug her away as Anna opened the door.

"Nono! Not a real meeting. We go in, sit down, and I give you a list of all the reasons you should never stop kissing me-"

"Anna!" Elsa blushed. They both were blushing. "You...you don't have to give me reasons." She grabbed the door handle and pulled it closed. Anna was against it and Elsa stepped close to trap her there with a laugh. She braced her other hand on the doorway. "I'm right here," she whispered. 

Anna offered what would have been an especially cute smile on her own face. "But I want to say things to you."

"You can still do that," Elsa told her as she kissed her nose. "I'm still listening." Then she kissed her cheek. 

Elsa was fully prepared to kiss her as long as she could stand right there in that doorway. It occurred to her she usually had been kissing Anna in much more intimate and sweet moments, but her loopy mind was telling her to kiss her in every corner of the castle just to make a statement. Who was she to disobey such a fun idea?

Unfortunately at that moment Elsa picked up the sounds of people approaching from the party. She couldn't make out what they were saying yet but she turned her head and paused, deciding what they should do. She didn't want to stop. Anna didn't help by leaning forward to kiss her face a few times.

"Annaaaaa...listen." 

"You'll have to make my lips stop by stopping me with mine," Anna slurred out. 

"That doesn't...that....sshh." The voices.

"Cause mine are on your f...Hey people! Come on, come on!" Anna took Elsa's wrist and pushed the door open again. She tugged Elsa in with her and quickly closed it, making sure it clicked quietly instead of slamming.

Elsa was giggling as Anna pulled her back against her and the door, her back to Anna's chest. Anna's arms held her waist and Elsa leaned her head back on her shoulder as they waited and listened. 

"That party burnt out fast after the queens left, yea?" came the voice of a young man.

"It sure did! Wait, the queens?" asked a second voice, also a man but a little hoarse sounding. "Only Anna is the queen!"

"Espen come on, you saw those two. Is 'sisters' what they're calling it still? Am I behind? That dance!"

"So, it was a dance, they looked like they were having fun", Espen grumbled as both stopped outside the door.

Of course they had to stop. Elsa rolled her eyes but kept listening. So, they were more obvious than she had realized. 

"That was more than fun." The man laughed. "They were quite close in front of the table too, and did you know they sleep together every night?"

"Not the way we sleep together Petter. I am sure the princess and the queen have a huge bed and sleep with their clothes on, not making out for hours." There was a teasing tone in his voice and Elsa suddenly felt like she was intruding on something really private. 

"Yea, they only LOOK at each other like that's exactly what they wanna do," replied Petter. "And I saw Kristoff packing! Listen, those two are totally an item. Maybe they never were sisters anyway! It's not like we know what was going on here before the gates opened and we were hired."

"They were out with their parents when they were young, before Elsa was hidden away. Don't be silly!"

"Oh, yea..."

There was chuckling. "Don't worry about it anymore, you've had far too much wine and I want to have at you once before you pass out."

"Oh Espen...you'll get me more than once. Why would I be worried? We'll have two good queens and more parties..."

"More than once, huh? That's right, I remember Laila is joining us, I hear she doesn't hold back..."

Elsa was turning redder by the second and by the way she heard the tiniest of breaths from Anna and felt her shaking, she knew she was holding back a lot of loud laughter. What did their staff get up to? Well, she really couldn't judge. 

And if more of them felt the way that Petter fellow did, that was a huge relief.

"Oh, if her partner is anyone to go by-"

Evidently, Anna couldn't do it anymore. She stepped back and Elsa nearly toppled as Anna swung open the door and spun around to face the two men, both indeed young and both from the kitchen. They were shocked as Anna laughed and then pointed at them, several teenie ice fireworks springing out and around them. 

"I KNEW IT!" She declared and reached for Elsa.

Elsa let her hand be grabbed and just went along with Anna. She felt very embarassed for the two men. She felt rude for listening. "Sorry-"

That was all she got out before Anna burst out with something else. "I've seen you two in the kitchen- I knew it! Have fun!" she laughed and tugged Elsa away suddenly, taking off with her. She was still laughing and they were very quickly going away from the party once again. 

As they went, Elsa found herself calming down and enjoying the moment, having fun with Anna like they were kids pulling hijinks. They were making up for lost time, maybe. Anna was giggling, so Elsa started to. Anna brought her to the library, pausing at the door. "You have to kiss me here, too," she said suddenly, a bright smile on her red face. 

"Here?" Elsa asked but she stepped forward and Anna was against the door again. 

"Here. Against every door!

"You kind of read my mind," Elsa said softly, remembering how she wanted to do that in every room. She decided not to take too much time as she smoothed her hand over Anna's shoulder. 

"Every doorway, every passage will be one where we've stood joined. I like it that way. It's less empty that way," Anna told her shyly. Her snowmen showed on the wall like a snowy projection, following butterflies and staring at the sun. 

"I like that," Elsa replied as she closed the distance between them, once again giving her yet another soul consuming kiss. 

They made it to another three doorways before Anna iced the ground again. Elsa lost her footing entirely and went down hard, her hip very sore by the time they wound up in the bedroom. Anna had apologized over and over and felt terribly guilty, but Elsa didn't feel bothered by it.

Oh it hurt, it definitely hurt! Her shoulder still throbbed as well. But she was too high off the emotion of the night. Having never been one to date or pursue romance, she wondered if she currently felt the feeling most couples did - excitement, electricity, joy. But her feelings for Anna had to run more extreme than that, right? Was it romance, what she felt for her sister? It didn't need to be defined, but she still thought about it - and too much, at that. How many times that day had she asked herself those same questions over and over?

It had to be some kind of romance, she thought, as they stripped themselves of their dresses. Well, Elsa stripped herself, while Anna simply remade her gown from the night before. When Elsa had her dress off Anna gently touched her side and Elsa looked to see her peering down at her upper hip. 

"You've got a big bruise forming, I'm so sorry!" she said with a sigh. 

"It's fine, Anna. It'll be sore but I just- I don't really care."

"Elsa..."

"You know, those two we saw outside the meeting room are going to be talking about this for days," Elsa said, quickly trying to change the subject so Anna would get distracted. 

"Let them talk, there's always new rumours about someone going around the castle staff." Anna lowered herself down next to Elsa so she could place a very gentle kiss on the bruise. 

"Mmm." Elsa smiled down at her. "I guess that's true. I wonder if everyone sees what they see."

Anna placed another kiss and then stood. "Probably. Sometimes I know I've given you looks that...that...well, that authors write about."

Once again Elsa's cheeks were red and she sought out the nightgown she was using. Anna's lips made her skin tingle, but her words even more so. She looked at Anna like that too. "Oh."

"Now I'll do it even more," Anna told her. "I'm so happy! Those two are newer in the kitchen, they were always flirting..." She sighed and happily that time. "It's so sweet."

"I see." She wasn't terribly interested in the other two in that moment. Let Anna tell her about them later. At the moment, she just cared about Anna. With her nightgown on she smiled at Anna and went to the bed where water waited on the nightstand as well. They had made preparations before going to the study for water to be waiting in the room later. It was lukewarm and had been delivered immediately after they asked since they were still out and wouldn't be interrupted. 

Elsa sat on the edge of the bed first and Anna was rushing in for snuggles when Elsa held up her hand and pointed at one of the glasses of water. "Drink that first, all of it."

"Elsaaa..." Anna whined.

"Please?" Elsa asked and reached for her own, drinking it. 

"Fine." Anna complied and took her glass. "I have to drink it ALL?"

"Yes, you had a lot of alcohol."

Anna nodded slowly and started to drink it, swallowing quickly. Elsa thought she might dump it on her face. She finished most of her own but the effects of her drink were wearing off quickly anyway.

Meanwhile Anna nearly tripped into the bed when she finished and set the glass down. She crawled in without injury and settled her body half over Elsa's, avoiding the bruised hip. Elsa wrapped her arms around her and caressed her lips with her own. It was impossible to be close enough to her. 

"Don't let go of me," Anna whispered when she buried her face in Elsa's shoulder, narrowly missing that bruise. "Please don't let me go."

"Never." Elsa had taken her own hair out for Anna and found her fingers combing through it. She couldn't wait to be touching Anna's actual hair and body.

It was another new range of thoughts to think about. Elsa hadn't thought she would make their kiss more intimate, but she did. She still held the desire to run her fingers over every inch of her body and kiss all of her soft skin. Anna didn't help, demanding she be kissed everywhere while Elsa only thought it...even though she would have voiced it probably. 

The thought of doing anything more carnal didn't strike her, though. Elsa just wanted to appreciate her. She wanted to be close with her and know her every curve, hold her warmth against her. Anna was already asleep against her, little snores escaping her. Elsa wasn't sure if the snores were from her body itself or just part of Anna. She would know for sure if Anna still managed to drool. 

Too cute. 

She would rather see Anna's sleeping face and Elsa found her thoughts growing frustrated. Why weren't they back to normal? Love was the key. It prompted them back to normal a few times. True love never ran stronger than it did between them there and then. The feeling engulfed her. She couldn't think about anything else at all!

And yet...

Elsa took a deep breath and let Anna shift slightly in her arms before closing her eyes. Something still had to happen, something deep was waiting to come up. She had a feeling the answer had to do with Anna. They may have talked in the study, and Anna had admitted a lot. Her life had been more distressing and lonely than Elsa had previously understood.Still, that didn't seem to be what was blocking them exactly. It had to be something locked away even farther.

Elsa wondered what her sister wasn't telling her.


	9. Part 9

Despite being exhausted from the day, Elsa could not fall asleep. 

It wasn't an isolated event. When her mind was overtaken with her worries she would stay up and just think, usually watching the sky when she stayed away from everyone. It was always better in the winter when she could watch the snow. In Ahtohallan she watched certain memories throughout the night - often they involved Anna. Between her years of isolation and leaving Arendelle, she spent time with Anna if her mind would not let her sleep. Even if she didn't tell Anna exactly what was on her mind all the time, her presence helped. 

Elsa found herself gazing down on her sister's sleeping form, lying on her side by then with Anna on her back. Her shoulder had become a dull, unpleasant ache. She was looking at her own form but it was Anna's soul in there, every movement was Anna's. The smile on her face, that was Anna's, and so was the hand Elsa held in her own. 

"What could it be, Anna?" she whispered into the silence of the night. She had a small wish that Anna would manifest her dreams and that she could learn something from those. However, Anna's dreams could be off the wall. Elsa supposed she didn't need Anna to create scenes of reindeers in slippers racing each other in the bedroom. 

Anna offered no answer, just a sleepy little sigh. 

"I'm not going to leave you." Elsa had waves of strong regret flooding through her off and on as the hours went by. 

If only in those thirteen years she had at least tried to connect with Anna, tried to sneak out to see her sometimes or at the very least, offered words through the door when her parents died. Her parents, who she listened to and thought the world of even as they did irrepairable amounts of damage to both women. They had tried hard. What options did they even have? What they did made sense-

No. No, that was wrong. They didn't have to do exactly what the trolls said. They didn't have to keep them apart so many years. When they were a few years older than when the accident happened, why couldn't they have figured out a way for the sisters to connect? Why? It was her fault-no, she had been a little kid when she hurt Anna! She hurt Anna...

"Stop!" she growled to herself and then froze. She'd done that louder than she meant to. "Stop," she whispered again. 

How to silence her mind from the thoughts that plagued her? She didn't know that they would ever quite go away. Even if they came far less often than they used to, they still happened. 

Part of her wanted to walk, maybe go to the library and try to seek out an answer - both for her thoughts, and get ideas for Anna. However, she had been all over the library for the former and found no magic cure. And if she got up and left, waking up alone would surely hit Anna's panic button like a giant's rock.

She didn't want to leave her anyway, especially as Anna snuggled in closer. Elsa squeezed her hand and lowered herself back down in the bed so her face snuggled against Anna. Maybe another hour passed and Elsa finally fell asleep. 

"Ooooh no, oh no..." 

Elsa's eyes shot open to the sounds of moaning and groaning next to her on the bed. She sat up in alarm and looked to Anna, who had rolled on her side with her back to Elsa. The first bits of morning light fell in through the window with curtains they had forgotten to close and for a moment Elsa thought the complaint was due to being woken up..

When she heard another painful groan, she knew otherwise. "Anna...?" Her fingers genly brushed her shoulder.

"Ooooh Elsa, oh Elsa it's baaaad..."

"What's bad?" Elsa asked, her entire being nearly in panic mode at any slight bit of discomfort from her sister. She had an idea, just a little inkling...

"Oh Elsa I had some strong stuff last night and so much cheese, I'm going to be sick! My head hurts too, whyyyyy why did I do that," Anna moaned out and started inching toward the edge of the bed. "I gotta throw up."

"Woah let's get you to the washroom, throw up there and-"

"Noooope." As soon as the word was out, Anna propped herself up and leaned over to throw up. "Ohgaw!" she made a strangled noise of surprise as she did so. Elsa cringed and tried to pet her back and arm in what she hoped was a soothing gesture. 

She felt a spike of cold in the air, and wasn't terribly surprised. When she was sick she made snowmen with a sneeze and one time when she was terribly nauseous she made a blizzard in the washroom. With Anna she guessed she shot some snowballs out her nose. 

Her hand continued to rub Anna's arm as she felt her body shake from exertion. It took a few minutes for the poor girl to recover. Even when she seemed she had she laid her head on the pillow again and groaned.

Elsa steeled herself for the sight on the floor; she was going to take care of it right away from Anna and she started to get up. "No, please," Anna begged weakly when Elsa began to peel away from her. "Can you stay a little longer? It's still early."

"It's very early, but I need to clean up and get you some water and a bucket," Elsa told her. "Then I'll lay back down with you for a little while."

Surprisingly, Anna giggled. "Oh there's nothing to worry about for cleaning." Anna turned her head a little. "I turned it into snow on the way out."

"You..." Elsa blinked. She couldn't remember ever doing that herself.

"I didn't want to be gross and I didn't want to taste it so...I sort of froze it but not entirely and anyway I puked snow." She giggled again and then groaned. "Ow..."

"I'm impressed," Elsa admitted. "You got a handle on those powers quick to turn vomit into snow in the process of, uh, yea."

"It was kinda easy for me," Anna admitted in a small voice. "But control with emotions is...it works for me I guess, when I'm happy mostly." 

"Your love and hope has always been there, always been a powerful part of you and you flourish with it," Elsa said, lowering herself to kiss Anna's cheek. "I should have expected it." She wondered if, even with Anna being in her body only a couple of days, if she already handled her powers better...

If so, she was proud. She couldn't be jealous. She had concealed too long and too hard and Anna hadn't.   
"I'm going to get you water." Elsa still had to take care of her. 

"Nonono, please please," Anna begged weakly. "Can you stay, I don't feel good so can you stay?"

"Anna," Elsa sighed in frustration. "I'm going to come right back! You need to drink something and if you cuddle up to me I'll fall right back asleep before getting you anything."

"I don't see the problem," Anna whined. 

"I do." Elsa finally managed to slip away from Anna and the blankets, shivering in the cool air. It may have been cold anyway, but the chill born from Anna's sickness only piled onto it all. She wished she had slippers near the bed or something, but last night she hadn't exactly been thinking about a wake-up routine. "I'm going to get the fireplace going again, too."

"But I can keep you warm," Anna told her as Elsa sought out a robe by the door to throw over herself.

"I know. But you need not focus on my well being, and if you get too warm or your head hurts too much-"

"I can do it. I can do whatever you need me to, Elsa." 

Elsa's hand had been on the doorknob when Anna's words made her hesitate. She noticed her voice seemed small, too. "Anna?" She peered at her and Anna was sitting halfway up in the bed peering at her with wide, begging eyes. 

"Don't go, I can um, I can take care of you so stay."

"..." Elsa studied her. Surely Anna wasn't drunk, still, though a mean hangover could be messing with her mind. As a result it was bringing yet more to the surface. Elsa needed to learn it and hear it, but she didn't like it coming forth as she was trying to help her. "I know you can take care of me, but you shouldn't have to do that right now. Let me take care of you. Please? I'll be right back."

Her words seemed to do the trick, for the time being. "Oh...okay..."

Elsa smiled at her and then hurried out the door, the cool floor making her feet feel like, well, ice. It was uncomfortable at best and she hurried toward the kitchen for a fresh pitcher of water. They still had glasses in the bedroom. The cooks might be starting breakfast preparation. Elsa hoped she could easily duck in and out. 

Luck was on her side. A couple of the servers were in and cleaning the counters down while the head cook had his head in the pantry. The servers saw her and opened their mouths to say hello, but Elsa just gave them a tiny wave, trying to signal she didn't have time to stop and chat. They appeared a little thrown off but that seemed about right. Anna usually chatted and was a beaming ray of sunshine to all the staff. Elsa didn't have the time or the energy to be that. 

It was upon leaving the kitchen with the pitcher that she was vaguely aware she had Anna's bedhead going on for her and she never let staff see her like that. Oops.

She was making her way for the stairs when she heard a greeting called her way. "Queen Anna! My, I didn't expect to catch you this morning!"

Menander. Of course it was Menander, up so early and catching her leaving the kitchen when she was in a hurry. And yet, she couldn't pretend she didn't hear him so she stopped and turned. "Hello Menander!" she said with a smile. "You're...you're up early."

"As are you!" Menander was dressed in an excessively large robe. It was a deep red with lines embroidered around the bottom to resemble lighter red flames. On the chest of his rob was the runic letter Wyn in black. It looked brand new, and Elsa couldn't shake the feeling he had chosen that morning to show it off for some reason. 

That man was very odd. "Sort of. I woke up thirsty and I won't be able to get the rest of the sleep I need if I don't take care of that," she said lamely.

"Ah, I think a portion of your staff and people could stand to do the same," he said with a chuckle. "I've hardly seen anyone else awake, which means the party was enjoyed."

"Something like that." She didn't want everyone out of it for the day when the world kept going and there were still discussions to be had and papers to be signed. But perhaps it could buy her and Anna more time to get going. Elsa felt fine, but...

"Are you taking water to your sister?"

"Huh? Oh.." she had started to space out. Maybe she was a little hungover. 

He motioned to the pitcher. "Lots of water for one person."

"Yes." Elsa nodded. Would it matter much if she mentioned they shared the bed? They had many times before, so... 

"I will let you get back to her as I ask the kitchen about a special breakfast," Menander said, bowing his head. "Please tell Elsa I said hello."

Elsa had been worked up to defend Anna passing out in her room, but Menander didn't even question it. As a result she remembered his words from the night before and suddenly felt the need to ask him a question. She called out as he started to turn. "Wait, Menander! Can I ask you something?"

He whirled right back around to regard her with a wide grin. "Of course, fair queen! What would you ask of me?"

Why was he so dramatic? "Well, it's a little strange but you see I...Olaf found this book and I couldn't quite answer him, and all your talk of twin flames yesterday morning..." She took a deep breath as she rambled much like Anna. "True love is the most powerful force in the world, right?"

"Powerful doesn't do it justice!" Menander expressively waved his hand. "It is the most beautiful force, the most awe-inspiring, sometimes the most painful and the most terrifying! It is a limitless power!"

"Okay...but what if...what if true love doesn't break a spell? What if love is definitely the key, but somehow it isn't working?"

"The answer still lies in true love, dear queen!"

Elsa tried to hide her irritation at that response. "But the true love, it's there, it's expressed, but it isn't working. The power of the spell still remains. The love is strong, but could it possibly not be strong enough?" Her heart ached at those last few words. 

"Nonsense." Menander shook his head. "It is plenty strong, it just begs for a secret to come forth, or for a hurt to be understood. It calls for a balance."

At those words her mind was already working again. When Anna learned of her powers and Elsa ran away, love still persisted as Anna reached out to find her pain, to try and soothe it, and to eventually save her. Elsa loved her then strongly too, but it was Anna who settled it all with her persistance and actions.

Was she as capable as her loving Anna?

"Huh. So something needs to be...learned, and done, or..."

"Perhaps simply understood, since some things cannot be changed." Menander shrugged. "Ah but that is merely what I have come to learn. Maybe this book that you - ah, Olaf - found has an answer hidden deep in it. You just need to take your time reading."

"Hmm." Elsa stared at him, and then sighed. "Thank you, Menander. I-I better get back up with this pitcher," she said. 

"Of course," he said, nodding his head to her again. "I hope to see you later this morning as we prepare to travel home!" he told her, turning away slowly, smiling at her as he did. "But if you so desire to spend every moment with your true love, I more than understand." And with that, he walked away.

Elsa turned his words over in her head, wishing she could get a firm grasp on them. There was something yet to be understood and balanced, but she had no clue what. Elsa was smart enough to know there was pain of the past to overcome. But as she recognized that and would be stepping up to the issues, why did the swap persist?

Her mind was working hard even as she entered the bedroom. Anna was laying down on her back, her eyes half closed. "Anna?" Elsa asked quietly as she approached the bed. 

"Mmm I started falling back asleep...but head is throbbing..." Anna said weakly. 

"I bet it is." Elsa rounded the bed to the nightstand, watching her step around Anna's snowpuke. It had some discoloration near the bottom and she had to look away quickly. "Sit up and have some water," she said as she poured a glass. She held it to Anna who groaned as she sat up. 

"How long were you gone? It felt like a long time!"

Elsa laughed. "Not long at all. I happened across Menander and didn't want to be rude so I greeted him."

"Oh." Anna gulped down half her glass at once. "Did he look as bad as me?"

"You look fine."

"You have to say that, it's your face," Anna said with a little grin, followed by a cringe. "Ow, head."

"You always look beautiful to me, Anna, you know this," Elsa told her as she studied her own hungover features. That didn't even look like her! Surely she didn't look that dopey. "He looked okay, though."

Anna blushed. "Oh...I guess he didn't drink much."

"Maybe." Elsa had poured her own glass, drinking it slowly. "Anna if you're not well when I have to get up, please stay here. I know you want to stick next to me but I don't want you feeling even sicker."

Anna stopped in the middle of gulping more water and looked at her with wide eyes. "But..but Elsa!"

Elsa stepped closer to stroke her head. "I won't be going anywhere. I'll just be doing your queenly duties, you know that. And I'll check on you." She didn't want Anna to end up taking herself out harder by forcing herself to tag along. 

"..." Anna looked at her glass instead. "As soon as I feel better I'm tagging along!" she declared.

"Of course." Elsa watched Anna finish her water and set her own glass down too, nearly done with it. She crawled onto the bed and over Anna very carefully. The bruise on her hip had begun to hurt. She lowered herself to the bed she could already feel Anna's hands on her arm and side, bringing her closer. It was adorable. Elsa smiled at Anna, letting her sister roll on her side and pull her closer. She draped herself over her and Elsa looked at her face. It was maybe an inch away. "You feel okay laying like that?"

"It helps, actually," Anna said as she wiggled closer. She closed her eyes and let out a happy sigh. If it worked, it worked, and Elsa wasn't going to stop her. 

While Anna fell asleep, once again Elsa didn't. She was so troubled! How was she supposed to figure anything out...Anna had been pretty honest with her the night before but that was under the influence of alcohol and she wasn't into getting her drunk just to talk to her. That didn't seem right. 

She laid there for a while before the light poured in generously and she knew it was time to wake for her duties. Anna was still out. "Anna..." Elsa said her name quietly and gently shook her shoulder. "Anna I need to get up."

"None for me, thanks," Anna muttered and didn't budge. 

Elsa quieted a chuckle and stroked her face. "Anna, I'm going to move, okay?"

When there was nothing but a little sound, Elsa carefully moved herself away. The loss of Anna's touch was rough and her bruises throbbed, but she got herself going. Anna settled into the bed with a light groan and a frown but she didn't wake up. 

She was adorable.

Elsa smiled at her and brought the blankets back up over her before she quietly moved on to select a dress. She chose a light and gorgeous dress similar to what Anna had worn when they had searched for a tradition on that holiday a couple years prior. The dress she chose had splashes of pink along the sleeves and on the torso, narrowly escaping being an eyesore. Elsa combed out her hair and tied it back in a braid again. She wanted to leave it down but thought better of it. 

When she was ready for the day, she crept up to Anna and leaned down. She kissed her on the cheek and nuzzled her. "I will see you later, my darling," she whispered in her ear. 

Then the day started. It was miserable.

Elsa could not focus one bit. 

The whole day and night before was a whirlwind for her and she found herself going over all of it, from the happy parts to the worried parts. She'd decided to stay, and on that she wasn't wavering. How would the other spirits react? Would the Northuldra see it as an insult? In her heart she did feel everyone would understand. It was time for her to depart from Ahtohallan as her home. However the anxious part of her buzzed loudly in her skull.

If only Anna were right there with her, as she signed papers. If only Anna were with her as she went over a trade route with her council. If only Anna were there as she finally sat down to a late breakfast by herself and poked idly at the waffles served to her.

All she had to do was look into her sister's eyes and she knew her decision was solid and true. 

But Anna wasn't there, so Elsa sipped her hot tea while hoping her beloved would wake up soon to join her. 

Just then she heard the door to the dining room and looked up hopefully. In about half a second she realized the footsteps didn't match at all and she spied Olaf running in to join her. "Oh, good morning Olaf!" she greeted him.

"Hi!" He waved a stick hand and kept going to the table. He pulled himself into a chair right across from Elsa so he could face her. "Where's Anna?" he asked her.

"In bed. She was not feeling too well," Elsa told him, wondering how she felt now. 

"Oh! ...Oooh." Olaf frowned. "Sorry. I should have stopped bringing her drinks, but she was having fun," he said, giving Elsa a guilty look.

"She also could have stopped herself from drinking them at any time. Besides, it wasn't just the drinks, it was-"

"-the cheese?" Olaf finished and laughed when Elsa nodded. "Kristoff had to start reminding her not to have wine and cheese because it didn't combine well for her."

"I didn't know that." She really didn't! It alarmed Elsa and puzzled her to realize she didn't know something about her sister. She thought she knew everything. Then again, before she left, she could imagine Anna didn't really want to be seen when sick off alcohol and cheese. 

"It...oh I did it again! Too late now. It embarrassed her so she hid it from everyone until Kai caught her throwing up one morning. Wait." Olaf squinted. "She's in your body, do you get sick from it?"

"Sometimes...if I eat a lot of one and drink a lot of the other," Elsa said and sighed. Either body was going to have trouble with all that she guessed but not knowing still bothered her. "I hope she feels better soon."

Olaf was still studying her. "Are you okay?" 

"Yes...?" she lied.

"No you're not. I can tell because you aren't eating at all! What's wrong?" he prodded.

"Uh, well..." Elsa hesitated, but she knew she could trust Olaf. He said a lot of strange things, sometimes too much, but he still didn't share her secrets. "I'm very worried about her. Olaf, something is keeping us from changing back, and I think it's Anna's sadness, but I don't...I don't know how to get to the bottom of that. You felt yesterday's happiness."

Olaf laughed and closed his eyes for a long second. "Yes, I did," he finally answered as he reopened them. "It was wonderful!"

Elsa smiled back at him, glancing down at the tabletop before she continued. "That in mind, I don't understand what's going on. Anna was so happy you could feel it in you. I could feel it. We talked last night and-and stuff." Olaf didn't need to hear the details of their kissing. "I've never felt quite this happy, even when I've ridden Nokk across a quiet frozen ocean. Anna is my world and why I was able to-to grow." Anna was her key to everything. 

"I think this is the happiest Anna has ever been, too. I mean I only knew her after you freaked out and made me, but she's even happier than she was for those three years!"

"Those three years..." A small portion of both their lives. "And...after that? Kristoff has already told me some, and Anna did herself last night. I thought she got out what she needed to."

"Did she talk about the cave?" Olaf asked abruptly.

"Huh? Oh, you mean when...well, we did talk about it at one point. I apologized. I felt awful, I still feel awful." Her heart ached for the time Anna had spent in the cave she spoke of. It sounded cold, wet, and terrible. She felt like a monster for what she had put her through...

"But how much did she say?" Olaf tilted his head a little. "Anna was destroyed...I mean I was, um, well I wasn't there. But I still know that."

Elsa nodded slowly. Her stomach hurt and she couldn't even touch her tea. "Yes..."

Olaf just looked at her for a minute. He seemed to be internalizing, trying to make his thoughts into carefully chosen words. "Anna told me a few weeks ago. She wanted to give up in the cave. She still wanted to give up after the forest was free, before she saw you again."

"Give up..." Elsa's blood suddenly felt ice cold.

"I don't know exactly what she meant," Olaf told her with concerned eyes. "Maybe she didn't mean what you think she did. But if you hadn't returned alive, she would never be okay again. I know that."

"But Anna is so strong. She doesn't need me to be able to continue forward with her life." Even as she said it, she knew it wasn't true. Anna was indeed strong, she perservered and she flourished every day! At the same time, Anna's energy was wrapped forever in her own. With their souls brutally ripped apart Anna would have no hope. No future. Though Elsa came back that day she damaged Anna forever.

She wanted to throw up. 

"Without you she's been so sad."

"I know," Elsa said as her head spun. She would never leave Anna, but she could never repair what she had done. What if she did hurt her again? She felt like a copy of herself. Elsa was unable to focus on anything, almost unable to breath when a stick hand touched her own. 

Olaf waited until she looked up at him. "Hey. You can't change what happened. The past is in the past."

"But it still hurts. It still hurts Anna...I hurt Anna."

"Not anymore?" It was a question and a hopeful one, but so naive it made her even more anxious. 

Elsa could only shrug. "I hope not. I don't want to. I want to make sure the rest of her life is beautiful and that she will always feel loved." She wanted to spend all her time giving Anna the dedication she deserved, make up for everything. "I want to beg her forgiveness for all I've put her through..." 

"You know she'll give you that." Olaf stated it simply as he gave her a bright look. 

"I know." She didn't deserve it. But she would do what she could to earn it. Starting with...oh no! "The fire!"

Olaf jumped and his eye widened. "Fire!? Where? What fire? I'll get the guards!"

"No, no Olaf." Elsa got to her feet quickly. "I meant to start a fire for her in the room and forgot. I know she doesn't feel the cold but it's still peaceful, it's...I forgot! How could I do that," she was annoyed at herself. All that talk of making Anna feel good, and she had forgotten to do that. While she knew Anna would not be bothered about it, she didn't like how she felt about forgetting. 

"Oh, oooh go do that!" Olaf said, waving her off. "I'll take care of the dishes!"

"Okay!" Elsa said, smoothing her dress down. "I'm going to- I'm going to do that. And Olaf, thank you," she said honestly. She owed him. "Thank you so much..."

"The fire!"

"Right!" Elsa smiled and rushed off, not even thinking about whatever she had to do next. Take care to put out royal documents she needed delivered, maybe? She'd get to it. For the time being she needed to take care of Anna and see if she could get her talking, see what more she could dig into. 

When she arrived at the room she got an unfortunate sight. All of her energy dropped out of her and she sagged in the doorway.

Anna wasn't in bed and the room was empty.


	10. Part 10

"Don't panic. Do not panic. That won't help. Don't panic." Elsa paced the floor in front of the bed and pulled at her fingers as she looked down to stare at her palm. Her heart was racing in her chest and she was trying hard not to shut down. It was all she could do to keep from closing her eyes and holding her arms. She counted her breaths and tried to feel better. 

Anna couldn't be far. She probably went to the washroom, or even the bath. Elsa was being idiotic! Anna just had to get up, and she had bad timing, that was it. She'd stay put.

In the next moment Elsa dropped down on the bed, sitting on the edge and watching the door. Any moment Anna would walk in and she could get the fireplace going for her after giving her a kiss. She ran her hand over the blanket, it was smooth and soft and - she jumped back up.

The bed was made, no clothing on the floor. The glasses of water were gone too. That meant Gerda came in which meant Anna had indeed left it for the day. "Gerda!" Elsa yelled and dashed to the doorway. She shouted down the hall as she hurried. "GERDA!" 

It was as she ran by that Gerda came out of her quarters, eyes wide and alarmed. "Dear! ...Your majesty, what ever is wrong?"

Elsa slid to a stop and nearly toppled when she turned to return to Gerda. "Gerda!"

"Yes?" The poor confused woman held out her hand. "Queen Anna, has something happened?"

Elsa grabbed her hand and let Gerda squeeze her own gently in an effort to calm her. The woman reached for her as if to pull her into a hug but as Elsa didn't move forward as well, Gerda paused. Anna must be okay hugging her, Elsa guessed, but she couldn't force that at the moment.

At the moment she had to focus on saying the right name.

"Gerda, where did uh, Elsa go?"

"Elsa? She said she was going to go visit her ice palace."

"The one on the North Mountain!?" Elsa asked incredulously. Why would she go there? Anna did enjoy going there to see Marshmallow and the Snogies in the past, but since it had been rebuilt she always seemed a bit tense when it was mentioned. 

Elsa always knew she should have asked why. She thought at first it was because everyone had moved from there to a part of Ahtohallan. Marshamallow enjoyed going to the deeper levels of the glacier, unlike Elsa it was apparent he could delve as far as he pleased. The point was he didn't stay at the ice palace anymore and Elsa figured it made Anna feel weird. 

She had also changed the construction slightly with a balcony that led around the mountain itself, to see the sun rise and fall and watch the sky with more of a view. She had thought Anna would like that, but she never expressed interest in going back more than once. 

"Yes, that one," Gerda said and broke her concentration. "She didn't say why. I did not ask, your majesty. I nodded and asked when she would be back. She just said later."

"I see..." Elsa had no idea what that might mean, but it didn't matter. "Gerda, please tell the council I am leaving for the day. I need to get Elsa back soon for...for...something we talked about with Menander," she told her lamely. 

Gerda nodded slowly. "Of course..." she said though concern was evident in her voice. 

Elsa just smiled at her to try to reassure her. It was shakier than she meant it to be. "Okay. Thank you, Gerda. It's nothing bad, I just really want to find her," she said, not knowing how true that might be. It was her anxiety talking, it had to be her anxiety. 

She stepped away abruptly. She didn't have anything else to say and didn't want to freak her out more. So, Elsa decided the best thing to do was stroll away and...out of sight. The first thing she was going to do was figure out how to get to the North Mountain. She could leave it be until Anna returned but she felt a sense of urgency. 

Without Anna she wouldn't focus on anything anyway. 

Even as she started to leave she turned around to the room again to get a cloak. The mountain was going to be cold, very cold, and she was awful at dealing with that still. Elsa chose a dark blue cloak and pulled a pair of light blue pants to wear under the dress. Some gloves and a hat found their way into a little tan cross-body bag with the crocus on it and then she was set. 

The problem was that the North Mountain was not close at all. When she had gone before she created snow creatures to pull her along or to ride on. Before it had been rebuilt, sometimes Kristoff took both girls there in his wagon.

Elsa didn't have any idea what to use. She had no powers, no Kristoff, and asking anyone about getting a ride up there would bring up various questions she wasn't interested in dealing with.

Maybe a walk through town would bring her some sort of solution. If she went to the outskirts where some smaller shops were along with farms, she could find someone to take her in secret. The chances of someone just having a horse for her to use were slim, and talk would still get out...unless she bribed them, perhaps. 

Her head was a mess.

On the way out the guards asked her if she needed anything, if she needed assistance, anything like that. She thanked and dismissed them and hoped they would leave her alone. She saw some of Menander's men as well and realized she would miss him leaving. Relief was found knowing he wouldn't feel snubbed by her. If anything he had encouraged her to follow after Anna.

When she was a short distance away from the castle gates, she got a pleasant surprise.

Something lightly tickled her face and swept her braid. In the air she swore she heard the light sound of laughter mixed with chimes, happiness and pure joy meeting. The wind was just a little warmer than it should be and she could pick out a few leaves zipping around.

"Gale," she said quietly, a smile on her lips as her spirit friend surrounded her in a hug. Even without her powers she could feel Gale's calm. Elsa felt she could cry, overwhelmed at seeing Gale again - or feeling her mainly. Even if she didn't miss the forest and hadn't thought much about her life there...

Gale was always welcome. 

"You found me, you know who I am, don't you?" 

As an answer Gale swirled calmly around her and chimed slowly. It made perfect sense to Elsa. Gale was glad to see her despite being in the wrong body. Elsa laughed, and her smile only grew. Affection from her strange friend was exactly what she needed. Gale played with her braid and danced gently against her cheeks.

"Ah, I didn't even know how much I needed you!" she said, looking to see if anyone was nearby. She didn't care if they saw her talking to the wind, everyone knew Anna did that, but she wanted it to be more of a private moment. "A lot has happened, Gale. I'll tell you, I really will, but I'm trying to find Anna if you care to accompany me. I have to get to the North Mountain..." she explained. She thought about asking for help but felt strange doing so.

Though around the forest and Ahtohallan Gale was all too happy to scoop her up playfully, she found herself shy to ask her to bring her to Anna. It was also a little scarier without powers to rely on. And yet...

Anna let herself be floated around and swept away by Gale whenever they saw each other. She had fun with the wind and Gale always seemed to tinkle cheerfully after spending time with Anna. Who wouldn't...?

"What do you think?" Elsa asked her, and again Gale wrapped around her. She swept Elsa's cloak suddenly and took off into town eagerly. 

Perhaps that was her answer, and Elsa hurried to follow.

She hoped Gale would understand her decision and still see them from time to time in the castle. How was the wind spirit able to make her feel so thrilled so quickly? Would she feel so good when she learned?

Somehow Elsa had an idea Gale was already aware...

There was no way of knowing for certain yet and so she just kept following her into the town. Elsa needed to deal with Gale's knowledge later and focus on getting to the mountain right away. Maybe she should just ask Gale. There was no shame in it, and Gale might like it.

Elsa hadn't gotten very far before there was suddenly there was...something in the air coming towards her. Some object just flying her way. She stopped in confusion and stared. Of course she knew Gale was up to something, but what? Whatever it was looked thin against the sky but it kept coming closer.

Oh.

It was a carpet. 

Gale landed it at her feet. "Should I just get on?" Elsa asked despite knowing. Gale chimed and Elsa stepped onto the carpet. It was black with green and purple leaves printed on it, and she quite liked it. As she allowed herself to sit down on the carpet - standing would be a hazard - she couldn't help admiring it. She would have to purchase it since she was going to use it as transport, but she might have bought it anyway.

That was to be dealt with later and for the time being she felt her heart flutter as the carpet began to lift up. She knew she would be safe. She trusted Gale.

As she felt herself being raised into the air, she sought out something to cling to. All she had were the edges of the carpet and her knuckles were white as she kept a tight grip. She took deep steady breaths as she felt the carpet move forward as it went up. Keep calm, it was okay, it was okay, she'd done other crazy things, she really had. 

Before she knew it she was zooming over the houses and off toward the mountain. 

If she had her powers she would have felt a lot less terrified. It wasn't that she didn't trust Gale. She trusted the spirit thoroughly. However, her entire past she had her powers to rely on in anything dangerous. How did Anna let Gale play with her so carelessly, zipping her over the trees and over the sea? Her bravery was something to behold. 

Up in the air the cold hit her harder. Gale was trying to be efficient in her transport but the speed was freezing Elsa's cheeks, nose, lips...it was all uncomfortable. Elsa shivered and debated between holding the carpet or her shoulders. Her hands felt cold and dry. 

If they never switched back, she was going to wear multiple layers of clothing every day for the rest of her life. She'd felt cold once before but that was different. She'd frozen before she could even try to process it. 

Gale lowered slightly and slowed down. Elsa could only figure that she had sensed what was happening. After all, she didn't need to have powers to communicate with her friend. 

The problem with a slower ride was that it only twisted Elsa's stomach into more knots. She wanted to see Anna so badly, she wasnted to ask her how she still hurt and how she could fix it. Her head told her she couldn't. She tried to listen to her heart instead, which simply told her to try anyway, to keep going. Her love for Anna deserved that much.

And she was finally accepting, finally able to conclude that she really was deeply in love with Anna. It was romance that she felt, romance that pushed and pulled her. It was different than the feeling of true love, even different than the feeling being twin flames and she finally understood that as her heart raced.

At last the tall mountain came clearly into view. Elsa had wrapped herself more fully in her cloak as her mind ran wild. She sat up a little straighter as she saw the gleam of her castle resting against the mountain and circling around the top. It sang to her, welcomed her. The serene palace felt like an echo of Ahtohallan as it tugged her heart so powerfully. 

Whatever waited for her was what she was meant to find. Her true home. There was no question who she would see and her excitement began to pulse through her, squashing the nerves in her gut.

Floating closer she could see a figure watching, waiting. How Anna got there so quickly she could only guess. She probably made a high-speed polar bear that took her as Elsa sat in her meetings, or maybe Gale gave her a lift before Elsa found her. It didn't matter. 

Anna wore a flowing light green dress with purple and pink gems glistening all over it. She had affixed a short purple cape that was semi-transparent. Her hair was down, over her shoulders as she rested her hands on the smooth railing of the balcony. A few feet behind her was the side of the mountain the palace leaned against. Her face held an unsurprised look, eyes focused on Elsa. The was a little smile on her face.

Slowly the carpet lowered, hovering just over the icy surface. Anna turned to face Elsa and offered her hands. Elsa eagerly took them. Her own hands felt numb from the air and Anna's still held human warmth in them even if it wasn't very strong. Anna helped her step down and squeezed her hands gently. Gale swirled around them both calmly before trailing away, taking the carpet with her. 

"Here you are," she said to Elsa and her smile faltered just slilghty.

"Why here?" Elsa asked as she slowly looked around. The view in the daylight was spectacular but she couldn't really focus on it. "Why the palace?"

"Felt like I needed to be here, I guess. And I needed somewhere I could really think, really feel...ah...free." She immediately looked guilty. "Not that I feel trapped! I..."

"I know." Elsa understood entirely. "This place is good for thinking, for clearing your head." 

"It is." Anna began to smile again.

Regardless of the returning smile Elsa felt something was off. "Anna...I need you - I really need you to be completely honest with me about everything you've felt. That's-even if there's something you're scared to say. Even if you feel you could hurt me."

"I couldn't stand to hurt you," Anna said truthfully as she looked down at their hands. 

"And yet, I've hurt you again and again," Elsa tried to catch her gaze as Anna had done so many times before. "Speak up."

"I've been honest. I was so sad when you stayed behind. I was heartbroken. I don't know how I made it through to now in the first place." She kept looking down. "The night we seem to have switched, I was curled up in that bed thinking I wouldn't be able to take it anymore. It felt like I reached my limit. I don't even know what I mean by that..."

Pain throbbed in her chest. The mental image of Anna crying in her old room, in the bed alone was almost too much. Most people didn't deserve to feel that crushed and to know Anna had? It was the worst thing Elsa could think of.

"That night I wasn't just watching the storm, Anna." It was Elsa's turned to squeeze her hands and tell the truth about those circumstances so she could block out the crushing misery that had been Anna's state of mind. "I went out there and stood in it, I wasn't careful, my thoughts had become overhwhelming. I wanted to distract myself from the way I missed you. The way I yearned to have you at my side. I stood where the lightnining could strike and the rain could hammer down and I just didn't care. My head was too messed up. I was reckless, what am I without your love to hold?" Without Anna...she was nothing.

"You were out there...on purpose? I knew that but you went out..." Anna asked right away, as soon as she could. She was looking at Elsa with confusion. "You were doing that with me on your mind?" Anna's eyes narrowed and her grip on Elsa's hands loosened.

Elsa didn't let them go. "I know! I know, Anna, I..."

"I was sad, but I was just in bed. I wasn't careless!" she said angrily.

Elsa wilted. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have-I know I-" Her heart had begun to race again. She thought she was doing well, being honest as Anna had and she had only managed to mess up!

"All you had to do was come back! You didn't have to put yourself in danger! You didn't! I was right there at the castle, I was laying in my bed with my eyes sore from tears and head pounding. You only had to come in and stroke my face like you do when you arrive in the night. You just had to crawl into the bed like you do and put your arm around me. Any of that! Instead you stood in a storm because you missed me!? Is this the way you show me your love, Elsa?" Anna had stepped back and snow grew around here, swirling from the ground. 

"Anna it-it was just a storm! I could duck into Ahtohallan anytime I wanted, I could make an ice dome to hide in anytime...I was in an odd state and I felt like I was about ready to rip my hair out trying to understand what was going on inside me. That's not an excuse, it's-"

"Then what is it?" Anna asked as snow whipped around. The cold intensified.

Elsa's teeth chattered. She held the cloak around her and tried to stay warm but the chill was burrowing under her skin and into her bones. It scared her. It hurt her. "Anna..."

"I want you to stop doing that!" A blast of cold air almost knocked Elsa over and made her feel even worse. Her mind raced to find what Anna meant. Why was she flipping out so terribly? 

"Stop doing what!?" Elsa yelled in confusion. She was getting lost. Stop being reckless? Stop leaving? Hadn't she agreed?

"Stop risking your life like it means nothing!" Anna yelled back, and all the snow came at Elsa with a 'whoosh' sound, knocking her down entirely that time. She landed on her butt and slid, no resistance on the ice. It hurt. And she was cold all over. She missed the little snowmen Anna had produced before.

She felt a lot of guilt knowing that there was a time she made people feel that way. She'd always felt bad about it, but...

But she made herself focus on communicating even if her head spun and all she wanted was to be warm with Anna. "I haven't done that..."

Anna took a deep breath before she managed to find her words. "I heard whispers that when Hans confronted you in the dungeon about the eternal winter, you had spoken wishing he had not saved you because you were a danger. When you thought-thought I was dead you turned your back to Hans to let him strike and kill you. You gave up!"

Elsa gaped up at her as icy spikes shot out from the side of the mountain. "I thought you were gone, and because of me-" She hadn't wanted to live without her.

"Then when you crossed the dark sea...I tried so hard to protect you. I tried so hard." Anna sobbed and tears began to roll down her cheeks. "I told you I believed in you and begged you not to leave alone and you still did. You did it, and you-you died. You actually died. Elsa do you know what that did to me?"

The wind settled. The snow settled and an eerie silence took over the mountain. Elsa studied Anna as she pulled herself to her feet and turned her words over in her head. "We've talked about this, a couple of times," she said, recalling a chat they had late at night some weeks ago. "Anna I don't know what else to say. I'm so very sorry for how I hurt you. I will do anything I can to make it up to you! I cannot erase what happened, I can only ask for you to trust me...please!"

"It's a pattern Elsa. You've tried to throw yourself away numerous times now. You don't see your own value, no matter what."

Elsa walked forward and opened her mouth to protest, but realized Anna was right. She stopped and stood.

Anna wiped her face, tears flowing freely. "I'm scared for you. I'm so scared for you. I love you so much and I'm terrified to lose you. Maybe if we stay like this, if I'm in your body, I can protect you. I can protect me. I can't feel what I felt in that cave again, I can't feel what I did when you closed your door to me, I can't..." Her cries overwhelmed her and she dropped her face to her hands. "I can't lose you. I can never lose you."

Stay like this...

That's what Elsa had pushed her to. She felt sick with herself and scared for Anna at the same time. She also had no idea what to say, how to respond, because even though she meant every assurance she uttered the words held nothing until she could prove it. 

Well, maybe she could. "Anna...may I..." She wanted to ask if she could step closer, but it felt like a bizarre question. She reached for her hesistantly with one hand, the other clutching the rune still around her neck. It had not been removed, not even for sleep.

"Yes. Always yes. I'm scared of losing you and even more terrified of never being held by you again." Anna looked up from her hands slowly. Snow glittered and swirled slowly around her ankles. Elsa knew it wanted to rise once more but Anna was tired. She was exhausted from her fear.

Elsa carefully took her in her arms and simply held her at first, her face in the crook of her neck. She couldn't think of words that would convey all the guilt she felt. "I know I messed up," she said and her voice came out thick as she shifted her head slightly. Her eyes stung and she knew she was crying even if she hadn't felt it sneaking up. The troubled breathing from Anna didn't help. "I wanted to protect you for so long I stayed away, both behind the door and when I ran on coronation day. I don't want to...I don't want to die or throw myself away, Anna. I was ready to let Hans take my life because after all I put you through - put us both through - I thought I had still lost you. I couldn't protect one person I loved, how could I protect a kingdom? I know it was a foolish thought. I was struck with grief and how I wish you hadn't had to see that." She really did. She put ice and pain in Anna's heart. 

"Elsa..."

"You tried so hard for me in the forest. I just kept pushing you away and I regret it deeply, Anna, I regret it more than I can say." That was when Elsa broke into very real, harsh sobs. They erupted painfully from her chest and throat. "I didn't understand exactly what was happening to me and it was a mystery I was so focused on unwrapping and fixing. I hurt you, the person who most believed in me and gave me all the strength to do what I wanted to do, I hurt you. I..." Then she had left her. 

Elsa's shoulders shook and she cried hard. She couldn't remember a time when she sobbed so much aside from when she thought Anna had perished as a frozen statue. Tears streamed continuously from her eyes and she couldn't silence the sounds escaping her. She couldn't tell if the shaking was from her or her sister, they cried together as one soul and even in her remorse it felt fitting. 

"Elsa, I...I forgive you but I..."

"Please, even if you didn't, I'm not leaving you. I refuse to leave you. You don't have to stay as me to protect me. I hope you don't." Elsa turned to kiss her damp cheek, afraid Anna might pull away but she didn't. 

For a moment, there was silence. Elsa didn't know if it was a good or bad one. "Do you miss your powers?" Anna asked finally, and there was a slight tone of helplessness. 

She did, she wouldn't hide it. "Yes, but more importantly..." She kissed her again. "I miss your cheeks, I want to kiss the freckles on your cheeks, not mine. I miss watching your hair in the wind, miss the way your hands are so warm in mine." It was all true. She wanted to kiss Anna in Anna's body, wanted to taste Anna's mouth and skin and feel Anna's body hugged close to her own. She ran her hands down her arms as Anna studied her.

"I-I want to rest my head on your chest, not mine," she said awkwardly and her eyes went wide as she seemed to reaalize what she was saying. "Not because your chest is-mine isn't-"

If they weren't both crying and things weren't screwed up, it would have been so cute. 

Elsa searched her face and kissed her lips briefly, sliding down in front of her as her hands moved to trail down Anna's sides. She kneeled in front of her and rested her head on her stomach, arms around her again. "I want your cute stomach, I can't kiss my own." That was true. It felt too strange and she felt a little flutter against her cheek as Anna attempted an awkward laugh. Elsa smiled despite her tears. "I want to feel you shake from your own laughter. I want to see your face when you smile and brighten my whole world."

Elsa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I just want my Anna, I want my true love in her own perfect form. And I want to spend all my days making sure she knows I won't leave her again." She held her tightly as she stayed on her knees. "I'm so, so in love with you, Anna. You are my path; you are my future."

"And you are mine," Anna replied quietly. It was almost a whisper, punctuated with shaky breaths. "I believe you when you say you'll stay, as hard as it is. I may still break, I may still be afraid, but I believe you'll stay here with me, that you'll hold me and kiss me and surround me with the beauties of your powers."

"I will." Elsa nodded slowly against the cool fabric of the dress. "I will, and I'll never stop."

That was when it happened.


	11. Part 11

Elsa's eyes opened and they hurt. They stung and her head felt stuffed with cotton. She felt tired too. But, she didn't feel cold, and she felt like she was-was fit together. Something was right.

She looked down and there she saw Anna's face against her stomach, arms around her and taking deep, shuddering breaths. She saw Anna's hair, she touched Anna's hair very carefully. It felt like Anna's hair. 

Then she touched her own. It was indeed, her own hair, and realization combined with joy settled over her. Her magic ran through her deep and true, strong as it ever was. She was back! She was in her body! It may have happened a couple of times before but the feeling she had was more permanent as opposed to a deep and at the same time faint feeling. Her soul settled right where it was supposed to and that meant Anna's did too.

It meant they had found an understanding, that Anna had finally put forth the biggest fears and trauma that weighed her down. They still may be there for a while, possibly even forever...but she'd expressed herself. Elsa understood the pain she carried more than ever before. She felt terrible for her part of it. Realizing the effects of Anna's anxiety and suffering was necessary, however. Elsa could finally start to make her feel treasured more than before, like she deserved. "Anna..."

Anna sniffed and tried to bury her face against her even more. She squeezed her, arms crossing on her butt. "I don't want to let go," she told her and though her voice was muffled, it could be understood. 

"Oh Anna." She pet her head fondly. "I'm not going to go now that I'm in my body, my precious girl. I'm even more excited now to be with you and kiss you and touch you." She touched her arms lightly. "You can stand up."

Anna looked up at her. "Oh, it's not that...I know if I let go you won't vanish..."

"Then what is it?" Elsa asked her, concerned something new had come along in such a short time. 

Anna shivered. "I'm cold. I'm really, really cold! I haven't been cold in days! This is awful! Why are my lips so chapped? Why are my hands so dry and sore!? Did you ever use lotion? Did you think about gloves? Owowow..."

At that Elsa immediately laughed. Her Anna! She went down to her knees as well and though the hard surface of the ice hurt a little on her knees, she didn't care. She reached for the cloak to wrap it around Anna's body and then hugged her. "I'll warm you up. I'll take care of you," she told her as she kissed her forehead. "I'll always take care of you." She caught her lips for a proper kiss, smiling into it. 

As the feeling in her head subsided, she began to feel lightheaded. She was dizzy. All she felt was Anna's presence. She kept her surrounded with her love, her mind tingling as she felt the telltale pokes of the spirits communicating and her powers settling back to normal. It felt a little strange, as she had been without those for a while. Whether Anna had been able to sense them she wasn't sure. The way her powers began to build inside of her she wouldn't have been surprised if Anna couldn't tell that from the spirits.

She didn't want to deal with any of it at the moment, though. Her focus was only on Anna. When she said she would always take care of her she meant it. "We need to get you back home," she told her. "It's very cold up here."

"But you kind of just got here," Anna said as she started to shiver in her arms.

"I know, but-Anna...you told me why you came here, but how come you never wanted to come here in your own body?" Curiosity got the better of her. She tried to hug her tighter. 

"Oh...well...it was d-different," Anna told her. "It wasn't the palace where I came to find you years ago, when you changed and were able to see what you could do. It wasn't the palace we came to when summer was too hot and you wanted a break. And no one lived here anymore it's...it's just, um, here. It's beautiful! But the meaning..."

Elsa clung to her every word as she rubbed Anna's back. Anna's reasoning was unsurprising. Still, it was helpful to hear it out loud. "I understand. What if we add a little-a little something to it that says Anna-"

Anna shook in her arms a little more, in soft laughter. "No. No, that's okay. You could cover it in sunflowers - it will never hold the same meaning, but now I think, I may like to come here with you every now and then."

"Oh." Elsa hadn't expected Anna to turn it down. "I was thinking, it could be a place just to be together and-"

"Elsa..." Anna pulled back from her even though she was shivering still. There was a smile on her face. "Elsa, we have our place. It's small and it's not impressive and it's not nearly as hard to get to, but we have something that we made together...we have a place... where you gave me this," she said, clutching the bind rune around her neck. 

"The igloo." Elsa watched Anna's hand, cracked and red from being in the cold wind. She was going to have to rub lotion into it later, maybe all over Anna... "Yes, you're right! That is our place now, isn't it?"

"Mmmhmm." Anna leaned against her, red hair under Elsa's chin. "Can we go there now?"

Elsa laughed a little. "Maybe later. You have quite a chill." It was beginning to concern her, the way Anna quivered. She had been largely responsible for it too. "I want to warm you up." They'd get to the castle and Elsa would have her shed those clothes that weren't warm enough, she'd get the fire going. She'd take Anna to the bed in a fresh nightgown - or maybe no clothes at all - and crawl under the layers with her for as long as they both pleased. 

Anna interrupted her thoughts. "Oh...yea, that should probably happen..." 

Elsa laughed and kept hugging her as she communicated to Gale. It was something that was easily done when she wanted. Gale couldn't read her mind and Elsa had to purposely direct her thought to her to summon her, but it was easy - it was natural. She closed her eyes for a few seconds.

When she opened them she felt Gale tickle her shoulders. "There you are," she said softly and she began to let go of Anna. She kissed her forehead and started to turn to recognize Gale as she swirled around them, gently tugging at the edges of the cape wrapped around Anna. "Anna? You'll need to move a little to get on the carpet," she told her. 

"Huh? Oh..." Anna watched as Gale lowered the carpet next to them, and still clung to Elsa as much as she could. She stepped onto it and Elsa was pulled with her. As soon as they were both on the carpet Elsa rearranged them, sitting behind Anna with her legs on either side of her.

She held Anna to her and buried her face in her neck, leaving cool kisses on her skin as the carpet began to lift from the icy balcony. It felt so good to hold Anna as Anna, so good to inhale the scent of her skin and feel her hair and hold her body- perfect. Anna was so perfect. Elsa formed a little ice barrier around them on the carpet to prevent the wind from nipping at any more of Anna's warm skin, and it allowed Gale to move them a bit faster.

"I'm sorry my sadness messed with us," Anna said suddenly, after quietly resting for the ride.

"Huh?" Elsa was thrown off.

"That...well, that was the answer, right? That was what switched us back? I had to show you, and you had to know, just-just how badly I was handling everything, how the pain I'd experienced affected me...right?" Anna turned and tried her best to face Elsa.

Elsa took the chance to give her a brief kiss on the lips. "That was part of it. I also had to realize...ah...hm..." She faltered and blushed, because while she knew it was so, admitting it made her feel a bit like an idiot.

"Yes?" Anna prompted.

It had to come out. "I....knew how much I loved you, knew I wanted to spend all my days with you, but I still had trouble understanding everything that we are, everything that you are to me. I couldn't figure out where I was in regards to loving you and being IN love wth you. This is something I've never had to figure out." It had taken her a while to figure out even friendship.

Anna blinked, and then giggled softly. "I see. Oh, Elsa..."

Elsa made a face. "Hey, don't laugh at me! I got there. I sorted that out and...well. It's clear as day to me now that I have been head over heels for you for a long time and needed something to give me a push. I don't know that there's guidelines anywhere for falling in love with your sister, so can you blame me?"

"I suppose not." Anna took one of Elsa's hands and squeezed it. "I'm happy you didn't take much longer."

"Oh yea? And I suppose you knew you were in love with me for a while, huh?"

With a sigh, Anna nodded. "Ever since you gave me the best present ever and I was able to take care of my sick, silly, amazing sister. I knew. I kept it deep down inside me because I didn't know how to handle it but I knew. I think I also knew I'd have to be patient," she added.

"We both know how you feel about that," Elsa whispered and nudged her face just so to kiss her ear.

"And somehow, I did it," Anna replied and let her head be tilted to allow Elsa's lips where ever they wanted to go. 

The castle came into view and with it came warmth, came some relief. Yet, she didn't want the ride to end. She didn't want to stop flying closer to the clouds with Anna in her arms and their world currently below them. Her lips had barely left the redhead's skin as she had made a well traveled trail along her neck and all the way to her forehead. She was lightheaded. How could she be expected to function with Anna in her own body with her skin like that and her scent so sweet and-

And they were landing on the library balcony before her reptitive thoughts could keep up their echo. The carpet carefully settled down to let them off and Elsa had to let the ice wall dissolve into sparkles. She sighed as she did so. Being in their regular bodies was good but meant a return to normalcy, which meant realizing just how real their joining was and how the kingdom would react...

The past couple of days were stressful but also like a fairytale. 

Gale wiggled the carpet a little to encourage them to climb off, and Anna slowly pulled away while looking over her shoulder. She clearly didn't want to stop touching. The longing in her eyes was blatant and Elsa smiled at her. Anna slid off the carpet and stood up, shivering a little before holding a hand out to Elsa. 

Elsa took her hand and squeezed it. At Anna's gentle tug she dismounted the carpet as well and Gale draped it over the balcony before dancing over them. "Thank you, Gale," Anna told her and with a few chimes, the wind spirit hurried off to leave them alone. Anna fixed her gaze on Elsa, who met it right back. 

As usual, Elsa fell right into the enticing beauty that was Anna's eyes. She felt swallowed up by her soul and she had no complaints. "Anna..."

"Yes, Elsa?" Her sister sounded breathless. 

"I love you, Anna."

\------

By the time they had arrived at the castle, Menander had departed.

Elsa couldn't help but feel disappointed. She'd wanted badly to pick his mind and find out how he seemed to know what he did. She had questions that demanded answers, everything from how he knew he was in the company of twin flames to what performance he had claimed Kristoff was helping him prepare for the night of the party. She had no doubt it was something aimed at her and Anna but...

They had run off to hide and kiss each other before that happened, like a couple of teenagers in love. Elsa would have felt guilty if it hadn't ended up being so much fun.

The man continued to be a mystery to both of them and Elsa could only hope they could see him again sometime soon to talk to him. In addition, she wanted to thank him. He played some part in the sisters finding their way to each other even if she had no idea to what extent. 

As the both of them began to settle back down into their own bodies and realize where things were, Elsa knew things wouldn't be easy. 

Pulling herself away from the forest, that wouldn't be very difficult. Ahtohallan would be where she might have problems but as she had told herself, and Anna, visiting it now and then should be easy. It would be like when they used to visit the ice palace, she wagered. Like the palace and the igloo, it was another hideaway for them. 

Thinking of it that way made her heart soar. 

Unfortunately many of the problems would be on Anna's shoulders. There would no longer be an engagement to a man and Anna would deal with the possible embarrassment of being a princess forced to be a queen forced to share the rule with her sister. It wasn't that Anna would mind sharing the throne- something Elsa knew for sure -but the words that may leave the lips of their subjects might inflict new wounds while tearing at old ones. 

The biggest issue was if and when to tell everyone that the sister queens were lovers.

"We'll deal with that...later," Anna told her a couple of days later as she sank into the hot water of the huge bath. "No one needs to know right this second."

The days had passed like any others for everyone else in the kingdom. Picking back up where she had left off was easy for Anna, Elsa had continued her work flawlessly - things were scattered but made sense and with Elsa's constant distraction due to the situation, it was even at the same pace as Anna...

Co-ruling was going to make things so much more efficient. 

"Mmmhmm, but maybe we should tell Kai and Gerda...it can only help with us being able to keep things discreet until we're ready. Elsa had already sunk into the bath and leaned against the edge. The water was just over her shoulders.

"That's a good idea," Anna agreed as she lowered her face half into the water and made bubbles with a "blblblblblblblb" sound. 

"If you drink bath water you are definitely going to regret it," Elsa told her with a laugh. Anna continued to be so adorable she could hardly stand it. The steam rose up around Anna's face and gently framed it. Elsa couldn't look away.

Anna lifted her face briefly to respond. "I haven't regretted it yet," she replied before returning her lips to the water. 

"Yet? How much bath water have you drank? Not just today, but-what?" 

Anna had risen from the water with her lips curved into a weird closed-mouth smile. Elsa could see most of her wet, naked body and couldn't fight back a blush on her cheeks. It wasn't like she hadn't seen it when she was her, even if she tried not to look too much. But it was different when she was actively looking at another person. 

When they had returned from the palace and dismounted the rug, Anna had ended up taking off clothes, opting just to crawl under several layer of blankets with the fire going. She took off everything and Elsa had plenty of time to drink in the sight of her whole perfect body. Anna had noticed immediately and giggled while Elsa looked away and told her to hurry up and get warm in the bed. 

As soon as the fire had crackled to life, Elsa had decided to be brave and vanished her clothes away before crawling into bed with Anna. She didn't have to be shy about anything, did she? A hum of approval had sounded from Anna when her hands found Elsa's skin and they had stayed wrapped up in each other for a very long time.

The loss of the powers had left Anna exhausted, her very bones tired. Elsa had worried intensely at first - but she found that all Anna needed was loving arms around her and romantic whispered words. She was more than happy to provide that. She may only be able to do so much about the way Anna did miss her own glittering snowmen, but she could care for Anna. She could show her love in any way she asked...

They hadn't done much more than sleep and cuddle naked, but the way Anna approached her in the water still made Elsa feel...hungry.

It ended up being a fleeting feeling once Anna stopped in front of her and spit bath water through her teeth and into Elsa's face. 

"What-hey-ANNA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Elsa shrieked and turned her face away, flailing her hands up to shield herself. In the process she splashed at Anna a little, and she changed tactics. As quickly as she had raised them, Elsa's hands flew back down to meet the water and send an icy, flower petal filled wave right at Anna's chest.

It was Anna's turn to yelp. "Elsa no!" Anna immediately dropped her cold body right back down into the water and threw a splash at Elsa. Then her eyes went wide as she realized she only put herself in more danger and the water around her was frosty. "Hey powers aren't fair!" she shouted even as she was laughing. Elsa knew she was enjoying herself.

She lunged forward and found Anna's arms. Her hands grasped them firmly as she pulled Anna close and hugged her with a smile. Her lips found Anna's wet forehead while Anna chose to rest her fingers on Elsa's waist. 

The world could definitely wait for their news. If it were up to her, and also possible to begin with, they would never leave that bath. Elsa had pulled Anna back with her against the wall, Anna's body pressed comfortably along her own. Anna played with Elsa's hair as the strands floated on the water, bobbing close to some rose petals. Her face seemed to shine as Elsa held her and watched. 

She could only watch so long before her lips found Anna's and she pulled a soft, deep kiss from them. 

On the other side of the door awaited the future they would face and figure out together, Ahtohallan and Arendelle both extending their calls however they would take them. It was exciting, it was scary, but it also was for another day. 

That was a door that could stay closed for a little longer, stable as the hook firmly nailed to it - the hook holding a cord attached to a pendant with a certain bind rune.


End file.
